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Excerpts from a Dog's/Cat's Diary - So cute!

Mahealani770
May 14th, 2007, 08:41 AM
FUNNY!! ---a cat's view of this is at the end--it is hilarious!!

"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now...

Spirit
May 14th, 2007, 11:42 AM
Okay. I laughed out loud. :thumbs up

glitterless
August 10th, 2007, 01:54 AM
I was about to post this one too! I think it's great. Especially the part about decapitating mice. I can definitely see cats thinking that way.

And my dog Echo, who we've nicknamed "Odie" fits the dog diary to a tee. Too cute :)

rainbow
August 10th, 2007, 02:45 AM
I've seen this a few times and always get a giggle from it. :D