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lol. a friday morning laugh

May 11th, 2007, 09:24 AM
my mom sent me this this morning and it made me laugh out loud so i thought i would share. :D

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top
this one: *
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate
excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying *

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the
day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy the top of my head. The
accident occurred mainly
because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. *

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." *

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" *
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second." *

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement
about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly. *
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find
the button.
It is the last action I remember performing. *
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.
was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she
hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and
me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them
with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control
bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the
weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,
this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. *
The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the
paramedics stood over me. *
Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself
lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group
of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. * *
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work,
all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not
succeeding. *

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back
in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an
explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it
was too painful to talk about,which it was.
*"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
If they only knew! Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
Hope your week is better than his!*

May 11th, 2007, 10:19 AM
Cat had his tongue, alright! :laughing:

May 11th, 2007, 11:58 AM
hehe, I've seen that one, but it's always good.:D