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A day in the life of a cat and a dog...

RolandsMom
May 7th, 2007, 10:51 AM
not sure if this is in the right place but it made me smile so i thought i would share it. :D

**Excerpts from a Dog's Diary**

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





** Excerpts from a Cat's Diary**


Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors still taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is
my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet.

Today i decapitated a mouse & dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments
about what a "good little hunter" I am.
*******s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an
elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...