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I need some reassurance...

RolandsMom
March 22nd, 2007, 09:59 PM
So most of you who have read and responded to my posts know i am a little obsessed with my boy and worry just as obsessively.
Unfortunately my Other half and I have decided to split and i am moving away. the problem is that i cant take Roland with me for a month and he will stay here till i can. Now dont get me wrong, i know he will be well cared for and loved (if not as obsessively as with me) while i am not here but i am terribly worried that he will pine and be unhappy. (i am gone two nights a week as it is but i come back after that.) now im not sure if its me whos going to be worse off for this situation. Somewhere i know he will be just fine for a little while without me, but i need some reassurance. I panic every time i think of it!!!! adn i worry about his adapting without his daddy too when i take him. any ideas how to ease the transition (some for me would be good too.):sad:

Frenchy
March 22nd, 2007, 10:03 PM
Get yourself some valiums :D He will be just fine, if your ex takes good care of him, I'm sure there won't be any problem. But you will miss him...keep telling yourself it's only a month, everything will settled in place after that.

Skryker
March 22nd, 2007, 10:07 PM
:grouphug: It will be fine! I don't have any tips right now, but cats are fairly adaptable. It will help if you have things that smell familiar-that seems to have been the big deal for my cats anytime I have moved. Once things smell right, everything else is an adventure.

Maybe get your ex to sleep in an old shirt, and put that in the carrier with Roland? That might help.

Quins-mum
March 22nd, 2007, 10:09 PM
Your little guy will be "just fine". I think it will be you that pines for the little guy!
As for Roland missing his dad, well when Quin's dad and I split, i dont think quin really cared too much, so hopefully Roland will be the same.

Sorry to hear that you have had a break-up:grouphug:

Sass_829
March 22nd, 2007, 10:11 PM
First of all I'm sorry for what you are going through.:grouphug: Honestly I think you will probably worry and miss him alot more. If you believe that animals understand when you talk to them as I do, then I would talk to him and tell him that you are going to be away for a while but that before soon you'll both be back together. And it sounds like he'll be well cared for in that time which hopefully should put your mind at rest a bit :fingerscr . As for ways to cope...cats are resilient, and I'm sure since he'll be with at least one familiar person he'll be fine. Maybe just love him up a bit more in that time ;) And as for advice for you...well having been through similar circumstances the only advice I can really offer is to take it one day at a time, and try not to look back, rather focus on the positive aspects of the future:thumbs up Also try to keep busy in that time and before you know it you will be reunited with Roland!

Frenchy
March 22nd, 2007, 10:12 PM
Oh I'm so insensitive sometimes :o I'm sorry for the break up too :sad:

Prin
March 22nd, 2007, 10:16 PM
From what I learned here, if he gets upset, he'll just pee in your ex-person's bed to feel better, and that's not too bad. ;) hehe

Seriously, I'm so sorry you're going through this... It's so much to deal with. :grouphug: :grouphug: I hope the month goes by really quickly and that Roland is ok...:o :grouphug:

RolandsMom
March 22nd, 2007, 10:19 PM
thanks you guys. its so good to hear that others have been there too. i worry so about him but i do know that he is just as loved by my soon to be ex as he is by me. that is one small consolation. you are probably right, i will probably miss him and be more aware of the time apart as he is. (although i struggle to believe that!) at least as soon as i am settled i will be able to get him a buddy. so thats something to look forward to!

RolandsMom
March 22nd, 2007, 10:20 PM
lol Prin. that would crack me up!!!! its not a nasty break up at least so thats good, but it would be pretty funny!

Skryker
March 22nd, 2007, 10:24 PM
Ha ha ha, Prin! You are so right! Cats do express themselves in a very direct fashion sometimes!

When Dancer's litterbox was in the bathroom at any house, she'd go and use the person who shut her out's bed if she really had to go. I kept warning people to either leave the door open a bit or listen for the scratching and let her in fast! And my little black cat Pepper would pull my work uniform down every chance she got and pee on it because she didn't like me leaving.

Quins-mum
March 22nd, 2007, 10:24 PM
at least as soon as i am settled i will be able to get him a buddy. so thats something to look forward to!

Im sure Roland will love that!!!!!:cloud9:

RolandsMom
March 22nd, 2007, 10:29 PM
i will love it too! may be another 6 or 7 months but its definatly in the cards. any one know the animal bylaws in Victoria? (im thinking of it as an option to move there at the end of the year.)

rainbow
March 22nd, 2007, 11:32 PM
Sorry to hear about your breakup but glad it is amicable. :) Like the others said, you're going to suffer more than Roland will. :grouphug: And, that's awesome to hear that little Roland will be getting a playmate. :highfive: When are you moving? :)

RolandsMom
March 22nd, 2007, 11:35 PM
i will be moving end of the month but not to somewhere he can come with till end of April. When i decide on a permanent relocation i will get no2

Shamrock
March 23rd, 2007, 12:37 AM
:grouphug: I'm sorry to hear of this upheavhal in your life Roland's Mom.:grouphug:

It's always an emotional and difficult transition, but I'm so glad that it's amicable between you.
That helps cut down on some of the stress and anxiety at least.
As the others have said... Your baby will be fine! And, that is wonderful that he's getting a little companion!:highfive:
My best wishes to you and Roland.. good luck with everything!:fingerscr :grouphug:


As for cats expressing themselves directly, Sryker... they most definitely do at times.
One cat from years ago expressed his view of my scolding him by leaving a gift on my pillow. A big stinky crap.:sick:
There were 5 people living here then, in 3 different bedrooms, so no 'accident" here. Not my husbands pillow even. No,..this message was just for me...;)

x.l.r.8
March 23rd, 2007, 01:01 AM
If it's any help, my cat were in the charge if my in-laws for a whole year while we decided if we were staying or not. The day I finalized the sale of the house I also got the cats on their way, it was like they had never been away. My girl was still my girl and the boy just wanted to go outside straight away and explore, while the other girl just hid under the bed as usual.
They all found their way to the bedroom that night and by morning we were pinned under the cats like we always used to be.
You'll be fine, an month will fly by and in that month you will be soooo ready to spoil him rotten it won't have mattered.

Quins-mum
March 23rd, 2007, 05:05 AM
:
One cat from years ago expressed his view of my scolding him by leaving a gift on my pillow. A big stinky crap.:sick:
this message was just for me...;)

Well, I guess if Roland leaves you a present on your pillow.... then you know your in the crap!:laughing: :laughing:
But until then.... I think your always gonna be his mummy, and he will always love you...no matter how long you have to leave him for.

My thoughts and best wishes are with you at this time. no break-up is easy, but hey... you have some ppl here who will listen when you need to talk... take care.

Dracko
March 23rd, 2007, 07:48 AM
I know exactly how you feel. My ex and I have split up but I don't get possession of my new house until June!:eek: I've choosen to stay here in the house until then as I'd have to leave my animals here since renting with a big dog and 3 cats is pretty impossible. The thought of leaving them is just too much for me. I am fortunate that we are both in sales and travel often. He just left for a week of meetings in the US, so it's not like we are face to face in the house all the time.

If it wasn't for my animals I would be living in a small apt until I can move in to my house.

chico2
March 23rd, 2007, 08:09 AM
Rolands mom,first off I am sorry about your breakup,but glad it's not an ugly one.
In your other posts your soon to be ex,seem to care about Roland too,so I am sure he'll be fine.
When we go on vacation and my son stays here with the cats,I usually leave old T-Shirts or something with my smell on it(:yuck: )and I've been told that especially my Rocky(my shadow:D )sleeps on these items all the time.

RolandsMom
March 23rd, 2007, 10:23 AM
thank you all so much for the support and reassurance. i do feel a little more at ease now after hearing that other animals that i know are just as loved as Roland havent suffered any adverse effects from being away from their primary caregivers for periods of time. i so appreciate it. And Roland says thanks too cause i know he worries too. :D :cat: (actually all he worries about is when hes going to get to go outside and tease the boys next door! )

RolandsMom
March 23rd, 2007, 10:30 AM
And Dracko, im very sorry to hear of your split too. i hope it is as amicable as mine (although its not easy) and you get to move out soon. i know its a hard situation. i am still staying in the house too but we are okay. no discomfort really, and he is going to the States next week too! so it will be easier.
:grouphug: