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Dealing with the loss of our pet

katnlee
April 1st, 2004, 10:48 PM
Our dog, Roxie, was a 7 month old English Cocker Spaniel. She was accidently ran over tonight while outside with my daughter. I have 3 children, and myself, that are devestated.

They want to get another dog right away. Does anyone have any advice on how long I should wait to get another pet? Roxie could NEVER be replaced. She was such a comfort to our kids because my husband got her for us right before he was deployed in December. She touched our lives and we loved her so much.

Thank you,
Kathy:(

Luba
April 1st, 2004, 10:54 PM
Oh Kathy I am soooo sorry (hugs hugs hugs)
Thats so very very sad

Go to the homepage on here and go to pet cemetery and make a dedication to your beautiful pup. I saw her picture, that sweet face!! From the topic u posted b4 what an adorable girl, I dunno how I missed replying to the picture, for that I'm sorry.

Nobody can say how long you should wait, that is completely up to you my friend.

However there are many many dogs in rescue and shelter that are in need of love and a home.

We can all help guide you that way if you like. But this is completely up to you and the family.

(((HUGS)))

katnlee
April 1st, 2004, 11:01 PM
Thanks Luba.

My brother used a local rescue to get his Great Dane. That is definately an option. I don't want to feel guilty for "replacing" her so soon. She was our baby. But we are so brokenhearted. She is what kept us occupied with their dad gone.

We don't live on a heavily traveled road, it was just a terrible, terrible accident. The guy wasn't even looking at the road.
If only I had taken her for a walk on her leash, this wouldn't have happened. God bless my little Roxie.

Kathy

Luba
April 1st, 2004, 11:14 PM
Sorry sweetie, I misread your baby was a girl...I fixed my post.

There is no point in beating yourself up about it!

Sometimes things are unpredictable and unavoidable. We trust our instincts and take for granted things will always be as they were. It's hard... so hard to deal with.


We all learn from every single thing that happens in our life.

Be blessed and greatful that you had this time with her.

Are you planning a service for her?

Lucky Rescue
April 1st, 2004, 11:26 PM
Awww - that is just too sad!:(

As for getting another dog, there is no right or wrong - it's a very personal thing.

Some people need to get another dog right away, while others can take a very long time to do so.

It took me nearly two years to think about getting another dog.

The only drawback I can think of is that the new dog might be unfavorably compared to the old dog, or it might be expected to be just like the last one.

Just do whatever feels right to YOU.

katnlee
April 1st, 2004, 11:27 PM
We buried her beside our house and said a prayer for her. We are going tomorrow to buy her some flowers and my youngest wants to put a US flag on her grave. She's our "deployment dog".

She was my first pet that I had ever had this strong of an attachment to. I really didn't know what to do for her. I just wanted to put her "to rest" as soon as I could. This hurts so much. I loved her so much. She had such a good day today. We were just laying together on the couch before she passed on. I'll always remember that.

:(

Luba
April 2nd, 2004, 12:08 AM
I don't wanna sound crude or anything but I hope you put her in a solid structured box either of metal or sealed wood.
If not wild animals will dig...and well say no more!!

Iggette
April 2nd, 2004, 05:13 AM
Katnlee

So very sorry to here about your loss of your beloved friend. I to lost my friend on March 4th this year. I decided shortly after that that I would search for another companion. There is no time frame, as was said, it is a personal thing. If you and your children feel it is time then go ahead and search for a new puppy. That new puppy will be lucky indeed

Chany
April 2nd, 2004, 08:33 AM
Katnlee, So sorry for your loss!! It must be extremely hard for your family :(
This may sound horrible to a lot of people but we didn't wait that long to "replace" our dogs. Thats what it felt like too. But all I can tell you is that every day I thought about them and cried. I would come home from work expecting them to be there and then it would hit me again that they weren't there. :( Finally my husband told me to go get another damn dog :) . So I did and it was the best thing I could have done!!
Nobody can tell you how long to mourn and you really aren't replacing them, the new dog will have its own personality, and you'll have your memories...and that hole in your heart will finally heal...

Chany

mona_b
April 2nd, 2004, 09:03 AM
I am so very sorry for you loss.I feel for you and your children.

It's a very hard thing to have to deal with.And it does hurt.

Only you know when it's time to get another.Please don't think you are being bad or wrong for wanting another.

And PLEASE don't blame yourself for what has happened.

And it's not that you are replacing her.And this may sound silly.But I'm sure she would want to see you and the children happy again.No you will not forget about Roxie.You have memories.And I'm sure that even though a new one comes into the family,you will all still talk about Roxie.Even down the road.

After 8 1/2 years,we still talk about our beloved Cujo.

amaruq
April 2nd, 2004, 09:21 AM
{{{{{{katnlee and family}}}}}}}}

katnlee
April 2nd, 2004, 09:53 AM
Thank you all so much for your kind words. It's been so hard. I'm on vacation today with the kids (spring break), so we are going to go look into looking at puppies that need adoption. Don't know if we'll get one today, but I think the kids need to be cheered up and seeing cute little fur balls will do the trick.

My husband called home this morning and I had to break the news to him. He unfortunately wasn't able to get as attached as we did since he wasn't around her very long, but he agreed with the fact that we needed to get the kids another dog. It made them and myself feel safer since he's been gone. We WILL be more aware with the next one, and won't be so careless.

Again, thanks.
Kathy

Spoiled
April 2nd, 2004, 09:54 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss.:(

Don't even think of blaming yourself for it, it just isn't right. It wasn't your fault that it happened.

Don't think of a new pet as a "replacement" for your old pet. No pet can be replaced with a new pet. Think of a new pet as a "healing" pet, to help you get over your loss.:)

katnlee
April 2nd, 2004, 09:55 AM
I added her to the pet cemetary. This way the kids can log on and see her whenever they wish.

Luba
April 2nd, 2004, 10:24 AM
That was a wonderful Idea!!

katnlee
April 2nd, 2004, 04:09 PM
Yes, it was Luba. Thanks for suggesting it!!

It made them feel better doing something for her.

Karin
April 2nd, 2004, 06:11 PM
I am so very sorry for your loss.

You and your family are in my prayers.


Some can get another dog right away, some cannot. Everyone is different.
You have to do what is right for you and your family.

doggy lover
April 2nd, 2004, 06:21 PM
Sorry to hear about your puppy, I also lost my dog this January (Travis see in pet cemetary) He was 9 years old and it broke my heart to say goodbye to him. I am planning on getting another dog in the summer, partly because I want to wait to respect him and also because I am going away and don't want to have to worry about a puppy. But there is no time on when you should get a new puppy do what your heart tells you to do. It might help the children too, don't let any one influience you..Hugs to you all. Until you meet her again at Rainbow Bridge, I know that Travis is waiting there for me.

woodbyter
April 3rd, 2004, 12:19 AM
Since I am a night owl by nature and am recovering from a broken leg I can sit here for hours reading and reflecting on the posts to this great and informative board.
I have found it best to recover from the loss of a pet with the following insight into our self and the life of a prospective adoptee.
Many people who loose a pet through whatever means often say they need time to "get over" the loss of a friend or they may say" I could never love another ( insert type of pet here) like (name of deceased pet here)".
How long you wait to adjust to the loss of a pet is simply how long it takes you to adjust to the emitional seperation of the memories of your last fur friend.
I feel most confident if your fur baby, who has crossed over the bridge, could communicate with you they would urge you to go on as soon as possible and shgare with another animal the love you still have in your heart for the departed friend and can also share with a new fur soul. It is not disrespectful to get another pet soon afterwards. Number one it is helpful to the healing process and #2 the sooner you act the sooner you can save another animal and give another animal a superior home to the one they currently have in a shelter or who are facing a possible death sentence for being around too long without an adoption possibility.
Acting swiftly saves lives and is far superior to sitting around grieving in our own self absorbing sorrow while the grim reaper stalks those who look to us for protection and a second chance at a great life.

katnlee
April 3rd, 2004, 06:15 AM
My dad adopted a 7-week old Beagle pup for us. She is the sweetest thing. Her name is Victory, but due to requests from the kids, we will call her "Tori".

She will NEVER replace Roxie, but she will fill our hearts will joy again and have her own special place in our hearts.

We still cried over Rox last night even though we have our new baby. I told the kids that she will always be a part of our lives. It was our first pet and she will be cherished forever.

We look so forward to starting anew with our new little one.

I will post pictures later.

Thank you all for you kind words and advice.

Kathy

Chany
April 3rd, 2004, 08:40 AM
Congratulations katnlee on your new baby. This will definitely help the kids move on.;) and yourself.;)
Wood byter what you say is so true.I had never thought of it that way before. Thanx!

chico2
April 3rd, 2004, 09:27 AM
katnlee..I just had a look at Roxie on cemetary,she was a beautiful little dog and of course it opened up my floodgates...
Anyway,you rescued another little soul and I am sure that's exactly what Roxie would want...

Luba
April 3rd, 2004, 11:45 AM
Dogs never replace other dogs just as people never replace people

BUT they can help fill the void and occupy your heart!!

(((HUGS))))

Lets see some pictures soon :D

wAggie
April 3rd, 2004, 03:27 PM
I'm so so SO sorry to read the terrible news... :( :( :(

katnlee
April 6th, 2004, 09:25 PM
HI all. I am missing Roxie terribly. She stole my heart and I loved her so much.

Tori, our new baby, is doing great. She's a doll. I'm hoping to get some pictures posted this week. I've been telling her about Roxie. The kids think I've lost my mind, but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

Thank you all for your kind words.

Kathy

wAggie
April 6th, 2004, 09:32 PM
that's the part of life that's so terribly unfair...

in some ways, it's stupid to domesticate animals and fall so much in love with them only to loose them...


but, yeah. :rolleyes:


we do and we loooooooooooove it.

Good luck with the new addition to the family!!! and may you have many MANY happy moments :)

chico2
April 6th, 2004, 09:54 PM
We're looking forward to some pictures,we looove pictures...
I know Roxie will be in your heart forever,our lost animals stay in a little spot in our heart and are never forgotten.
Keep telling the new pup about Roxie.....I have loong conversations with my cats every day:D

doggy lover
April 7th, 2004, 07:57 PM
I watched my dog go to sleep on Jan. 10 and I still shed a tear when I think of him or look at one of his pictures, it's still hard. I know it was the right thing to do but it doesn't help the pain.

chico2
April 7th, 2004, 10:21 PM
Doggylover,I know what you mean,I had one of my cats for 19yrs and that is a loong time,for the longest time after I buried him I still felt like he was around,woke up in the morning thinking he was there,but then the truth hits you and the tears:(
He was not suffering any more and I did the right thing,but boy,did it hurt!!! and I have been through it several times..
Your little Roxie was so young and so sweet,but bad things happen,not much we can do about it:(
I know everyone says it will get better and it will,it just takes some time and many tears,but you did a good thing for another little puppy and I am sure Roxie approves from wherever she is...
Wow,am I getting sentimental,sorry about that,nite,nite!

Spoiled
April 8th, 2004, 08:36 AM
I have been through it several times..

Good for you! I don't think I could manage to bear it... well, maybe with the companionship of another pet I could.:(