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Lost a buddy last night

February 25th, 2007, 04:15 PM
This morning I found out that a riding buddy of mine died last night while at his friend's cottage. Seems he had an ATV accident.

I'm at a loss right now, it seems so unfair. I took him to Hardwood Hills for a ride, and on the hour drive home, he told me his story, how, at one time, he felt he wasn't doing anything with his life except partying. He credited his wife with straightening him out, inspiring him to finish school. Listening to him talk, he adored her. Until recently, he was on contract with Canada Post, and was just signed on full-time, 20 mins from home (same town as my new job, coincidentally) after working downtown Toronto for so long. He was ecstatic to be eligible for benefits, and to be close to his family. His daughter is about 2 months younger than Grace. To listen to him talk, he was loving life, and so grateful to be in a position where he felt truly blessed.

Now, it's gone. He leaves behind a young wife who he adored, a daughter who he cherished, who won't remember him. I won't get into the details, but to say that, from my understanding, he wasn't supposed to ride his friend's ATV. Death by misadventure. I'm between anger and sorrow. Such a stupid way to die, and a stupid reason to leave a family behind. Sometimes, "life isn't fair" doesn't cover it. Here's a guy who was dedicated to his family, and decided to take a rare weekend for himself.

Good-bye, Jeff. I didn't know you long, but I felt as though I knew you well. You were one of the good guys. My life is fuller for knowing you, my heart is emptier for losing you.

February 25th, 2007, 04:20 PM
So sorry Schwinn,a life ended way too soon:sad:
Somehow talking about the dangers of ATV's does not seem appropriate,too late for this young father...

February 25th, 2007, 04:26 PM
:grouphug: Im sorry for your loss Schwin as well as the familys:sad: :grouphug:

February 25th, 2007, 04:30 PM
Such a tragedy for all involved. I'm so sorry :grouphug: Thoughts and prayers for you and your buddy's family.

February 25th, 2007, 04:33 PM
So sorry Schwinn :sad: I know what it feels like to loose a friend so early in life, and it sucks. :grouphug:

February 25th, 2007, 04:39 PM
I'm so sorry. His poor wife. And as you say, so bloody unnecessary, such a waste of a young life, of a devoted husband and dad.
ATVs may be a blessing for some, but they are definitely a curse for others.

February 25th, 2007, 04:43 PM
I'm sorry, Schwinn. There's nothing that we can say to ease this for you. Some times it really doesn't seem fair.

February 25th, 2007, 05:10 PM
I'm truly sorry to her about your loss and for his condelences to you and the family.:grouphug:

February 25th, 2007, 05:16 PM
So very sorry to hear about your friend:grouphug:

February 25th, 2007, 05:24 PM
My condolences to you and his family. :grouphug: :candle: So unfair that he had to leave unexpectedly at such a young age. :sad: :grouphug:

February 25th, 2007, 05:34 PM
My condolences to you and your friend's family:sad:

February 25th, 2007, 05:46 PM
Schwinn, I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost a beau in a motorcycle accident in what I think may be similar circumstances, so I understand your anger bounding back with sorrow.

I had to find it my heart forgive my beau so that I could get on with working through my loss and my sorrow. In forgiving him, I had to acknowledge that he faced things everyday which I didn't know about or understand and it was perhaps those "demons" that propelled my beau to ride that day. And when I finally was able to forgive him, in doing so I found a means to restore him to that place in my heart that had valued him as a human being and loved him so dearly.

I hope you can find that place beyond anger, beyond grief and remember with gratitude and clarity, Jeff as he was as a human being and the value his friendship with you.

February 25th, 2007, 06:06 PM
Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. And sorry for his wife and child. So so sad !!!:candle:

February 25th, 2007, 06:57 PM
Sorry for your loss Schwinn, your friend sounded like a great guy. Sorry too for his family and young child too, thats tough. :sad:


February 25th, 2007, 07:41 PM
I am so sorry for your loss Schwinn. My prayers are with you and his family.:rip:

February 25th, 2007, 08:19 PM
sorry for your loss......i'v been there and i know its tough,you will get through it..and just keep thinking about the good times,it helps.

February 25th, 2007, 09:07 PM
I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend. Take comfort from knowing that he did experience the love of a wife and family. It's so sad that he was taken so young and just when he'd found true happiness. I feel for those close to him.

February 26th, 2007, 12:54 AM
Schwinn, I'm very sorry to hear of this sad loss of your friend. A young life cut so short, such a tragedy. :sad:
My deepest condolences to you, and to the family Jeff leaves behind.:candle:
My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.:grouphug: :pray:

February 26th, 2007, 03:05 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss, Schwinn. :grouphug:

February 27th, 2007, 09:33 PM
Thanks, everyone. I think it hits me hard because of our connection through our daughters. I also got an e-mail that his wife sent out to everyone, and the thought of her typing that just breaks my heart.

Mrs. Schwinn works with a friend of the family, and they did an autopsy. It seems that there were no skid marks or anything leading up to the tree, so they questioned what it was that happened. Though the investigators brought it up, I think suicide has been ruled out. I know none of his friends believe it. Then today they determined the cause of death was asphixiation. The four wheeler was on his legs, so it wasn't from that. This whole thing is very weird.

February 28th, 2007, 11:45 AM
Weird it is , maybe with his scarf ? His poor wife :sad: Why can't they leave it , it's an accident.

February 28th, 2007, 12:42 PM
I am so sorry for your loss Schwinn!! I think I have given up attempting to understand why young people (and children) die but it does not make it any easier!!! My heart goes out to you and to this man's family!!

March 2nd, 2007, 09:39 AM
Weird it is , maybe with his scarf ? His poor wife :sad: Why can't they leave it , it's an accident.

It's very strange. He wasn't wearing a scarf. One theory, that they think is a stretch, is he had a cigarette earlier in the day, and he's asthmatic. Someone else suggested a severe asthma attack.

I think that most of us would actually like to know. It'd be so much easier to know that something actually happened to him, than to think he went out and did something stupid.

I went to the visitation last night and talked to his wife. I got to tell her how much he adored her, and how he put her on a pedastal. It was really important to me that she know that, because I think he'd want her to know. Her comment to me was, "He'd be so angry with himself right now".

I put my hand on his arm and said, "See ya, buddy". He was just a genuinely good guy. We didn't have a lot in common, but he was one of those guys who was such a good guy, you wanted to be around him. We were hoping to put a team together for the 24 hour race this summer. I don't know if I'll be able to get on a team now, but if I do, I'm hoping to ride his bike for one lap.

March 2nd, 2007, 09:53 AM
I got to tell her how much he adored her, and how he put her on a pedastal.
Must had been good to hear for her. I lost 2 friends 3 years ago, 2 in the same year. I tought to myself wow, I'm only in my thirties and already loosing friends. You never know when those things can happen. Makes you apreciate life and people even more. And I feel like you Schwinn, I feel bless that these people were my friends, they defenetly left their "marks". I'm a better person because of them.