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Job Evaluations

February 24th, 2007, 11:59 PM

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."

(2) "His men would follow him anywhere, . But only out of morbid curiosity.'

(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

(11) "This employee should go far, ..... And the sooner he starts, the better."

(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

(13) "A gross ignoramus? 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

(17) "He's been working with glue too much."

(18) "He would argue with a signpost."

(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately detest him."

(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, ..... he's the other one."

(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."

(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... He only gargled."

(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

February 25th, 2007, 01:14 AM
some of those are pretty funny.

February 25th, 2007, 02:02 AM
Lol :laughing:

Replace employee with Supervisor or manager and they would describe many where I work :rolleyes:

But they are hired on, on a 2 year contract having to work 60 hours a week at starting wage earning 10K less than the hourly employees working who are working 40 hours a week , it may explain alot the quality getting hired on, even some of the upper management decision making will leave the employees laughing or rolling their eyes at their stupidity :p

For example there was a whole roll of bad sheet metal used to stamp out the outer truck hoods and none were any good, the manager decided to have them assembled and welded any way , then they order them to be put on the vehicles, the vehicle moves 20 feet down the line and the repairs guys must now remove the hoods, and throw them in the garbage and then install new good hood.
First stupidity-- why continue stamping out parts when you know the roll of sheet metal is no good?
second stupidity --Only the outer top of the hood was bad, the rest of the parts used to assemble were all good parts, but once welded on to the upper top of the hood, the goods parts now all become waste as well

Third stupidity-- why have the bad hoods intalled ???? All they have done is created more, toss them instead of installing them, and use only good hood, rather than waste manpower installing them and then have others remove them again a few minutes later.

One of the dies used to stamp out door broke almost 4 months ago, it was never sent out for repairs, Wednesday the spare die broke as well, so they were unable to build stamp out metal to make new doors and had to buy back already made up doors that they had sold to GM for 3 times the cost, because of all the handling up being shipped from a warehouse to the plant and having to be unpacked and manually installed about 25% of the doors will have dents and will have to be thrown out and will need to be repainted and replaced again, the dies wil need to be sent out as a rush emergency repair which will double to costs of repairing them............and GM is sitting back crying the blues wondering why they are losing money :rolleyes:

A worker tries to buy one of the vehicles we make in a nearby city from a dealer and the dealer tells them it will be a 6 month wait to get one in stock :eek: meanwhile we have already been told we will be on a 2 week layoff because we have too many vehicles made, we have 35,000 vehicles sitting as fieldstock but a dealer has to wait 6 months for a vehicle :confused:

February 25th, 2007, 11:49 AM
Couldn't agree with you more OG... far too often I've seen people promoted or transferred to other middle and upper management positions because no one wants to deal with their poor people-skills and/or incompetence. :mad:

The only virtue in having worked for the gov't for as long as I have is that eventually there is some small satisifaction in seeing someone finally get what they deserve.