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My little maggieee :(

February 15th, 2007, 11:01 PM
Hi everyone! i just found this site tonight and im so glad that i did!

I'm 18 and i just started going to college this year a few hours away from home. About a month and a half after i left, my english setter, maggie (who also went by the nickname "shnuffy" :) ) started to get very very sick. It was such a shock because she was like 13 years old, and she still looked and acted like she was 4! In fact, i thought she was 4 untill my dad told me she wasnt haha. Well maggie started to get really weak and my parents had no idea what was going on, when my mom would talk to me on the phone about it i just figured she was blowing the whole thing out of proportion, and shnuff was fine. My mom is notorious for making things a bigger deal than they are. But she started to get really really bad in the next couole of weeks.My dad took her to a really good pet clinic, they did an ultrasound and found out she had a tumor on her heart. The tumor was causing fluid to fill up and push against her lungs so she couldnt breathe and it made it really hard for her heart to function. The vet said my dad could leave her there overnight and they could do a procedure to drain the fluid as a temporary cure, but of course they couldnt remove the tumor because it was on her heart. When my dad went to pick her up the next day, she was perfectly fine, acting all goofy and like a puppy. Like nothing had ever happened to her. I was so happy to hear this, and im really optimistic so i thought she would be fine, and most of the times after that first procedure when i came home, she was. She would always greet me at the door, so excited and making the weirdest, funniest "talking noises" (if youre an english setter owner, im sure you know what im talking about). But unfortunately, shes wasnt fine for long.
One of my saddest memories is a weekend when i came home from college to visit everyone, i went to the back door of my house and maggie was just laying there looking at me, trying to wag her tail and act excited. You could tell she was excited, but too weak to do anything about it. I just started to cry, id never seen her like that before. Ill never forget how sad that made me, i knew what was going to happen. My dad explained to me she was sick again, and they were oging to do the procedure. They did it, and she came out acting like a puppy again, but she got sick again in a shorter amount of time than the first time they did the procedure. I hated myself for being away, and i still do today. I started to go home every weekend, just to see her. I loved maggie with all my heart and i still do, i wanted to be there for her as much as i possibly could. The last weekend i saw her, she looked fine. I was just leaving and i hugged her and kissed her on the head for like 20 minutes. She seemed fine the whole time i was home. When i was about o leave i said " Bye shnuffy i loove youuu, dont dieee!:p Bye babyyy!" And i started to cry a little bit, not because i thought she was actually gonna die, but because i just hated leaving her. I defanitly would not have thought that within the next 4 days, my baby would be gone forever.
My dad called me on wednesday at about 1130, i had just gotten out of a test. He explained to me that maggie got really really bad the night before. They brought her into the emergency clinic at like 1 in the morning. He tried to explain it to me but all i kept asking was if she was dead or not. She was. They decided to put her down because she was just in so much pain, and she probably would have died that night in much more pain if they didnt put her down. I tried to hold it together for as long as i could. My roomate drove me home because my parents didnt want me driving. When we got home i just couldnt help it. I started crying hysterically. I hated being in my house and not hearing her little feet running around, or her weird noises greeting me at the door. I still hate being in my house today becase i just miss her so much.

I just wish i could have been there for her when she needed me. Im still in college but there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about her. Maggie was my dog, i picked her out from the breeder when i was a little girl, i had her through junior high and high school. We grew up together, and had an unconditional love that every pet owner knows they have with their pet. Its an irreplacable thing that you never forget. I still cry all the time about it because i miss hr so much, but a lot of times i wont admit to it because i dont like to show how extremely upset i still am about it. Im so filled with guilt that i went away, and she was left alone without me. I have no brothers or sisters, she she was kinda like that to me, and i know i was like that to her.

I have a new puppy, and i really love her a lot, but its just so hard adjusting. Im still so sad. I just hope shes happy and she knows how much i love her .
and to whoever reads this whole thing, haha thank you, youre a trooper. It was really hard for me to type this, im pretty buck crying my eyes out rihgt now haha. I just really needed to get this all out:love:

February 16th, 2007, 11:36 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. I did make it through the entire post with tears in my eyes. It brought back memories of my Husky. I was 14 when we got her and when I got married and moved out, I had to leave her behind as I had no fence in my yard to protect her. When I finally got a fence my Mom (who had just retired) was enjoying her company and didn't want me to take her away. I didn't want to uproot her as she was around 13 years old by then anyway with the beginnings of arthritis and was comfy at my parent's house (the only house she had ever known). She finally suffered kidney failure at 14 and we had to put her down. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do being in that room. My Mom couldn't do it and had to wait outside. It still brings tears to my eyes and it has been around 6 years now.

Thank you for posting. We are a great "family" here who can emphathize with you more than you know. Things will get better and you will always have your memories of your sweet Maggie. May she RIP.

Take care.

February 16th, 2007, 11:59 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. :candle: I had trouble getting through your post and am writing now with tears in my eyes:sad: :grouphug:

The same sort of thing happened to me after I moved out of my parent's home to go to university. In my third year we had to decide to get our doggie pts. I can hardly think about it now, it is so hard. And reading your post brought back all those feelings.

Things will get better. Most people here know exactly what you are going through, and while it is one of the hardest things we, as pet owners, will ever have to go through, the years that they are alive make it all worthwhile:cloud9: and they will remain in our thoughts through the happy memories.

February 25th, 2007, 12:31 AM
I have tears in my eyes now as well. It brought back so many memories of the dogs I've had to send to the Rainbow Bridge. :sad: You will always have sad moments as dogs leave pawprints on our hearts. I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :candle:

February 25th, 2007, 12:58 AM
:angel: I did too read the whole thing with tears. I just lost my girl this week and know exactly how you feel about the noise level and sounds. i still feel like i hear her around, but i know she is not. i hope our little girls are together playing ball .i am sorry you are hurting. and like you i just found this site tonight. my prayers and thoughts are with you through this trying time. :angel: :pray: :grouphug:

March 14th, 2007, 05:00 PM
im crying so bad right now.
i just went through something similar to what you went through and there is just no way to describe the feeling you have when you loose someone so close to your heart. i really hope everything goes well and your new puppy grows up to be happy and healthy and lives a long life.

March 14th, 2007, 08:55 PM
Oh, your story reminds me of when I left home. Its sad when you are away from home and you can't be there with your family and with your pet in her final days. I had a Sheltie from the time I was 3 (ok, so it was my mothers dog at that time) that went really really downhill all of a sudden the week I moved away from home. I am convinced he got depressed because he missed me, because he used to sleep with my and I was the person who fed and groomed him for many years. My parents called be about 3 or 4 weeks after I had moved away to tell me they put him down.

Crying is good! I am glad you found this forum to let it all out as well. The new puppy won't replace you other one, but I am sure you two will soon have a strong special bond in so many other ways.

March 14th, 2007, 10:01 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss, magsangel... :grouphug: We have 6 English setters and I know how special they are. I dread the time when we start losing ours to old age (they're all within a year-and-a-half of each other).

Maggie looks like a little :angel:. She had beautiful markings. She looks fairly dark--was she a chestnut? And I love her mask! :cloud9:

13 years is a very respectable age for a setter--and she sounds like she was well-loved. All those years of love will live in your heart. Eventually, the memories will become happier and make you smile...but right now tears are okay. She won't want you to be sad forever, but I'm sure she understands that it's time to grieve. :grouphug: Tears cleanse the heart and wash away the sadness.

March 18th, 2007, 01:39 PM
I am so sorry to hear about Maggie. Please donít feel guilty about not being with Maggie when she died, she knew how much you loved her. Your mom and dad were with her, so she was not alone. It sounds like you gave her a lifetime of love. It is ok to be sad and grieve for Maggie but donít feel guilty Magsangel.

March 19th, 2007, 01:04 PM
Your baby is on my wall :goodvibes: :rip: :grouphug: