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HELP With My Thesis Statement!!!

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 09:37 PM
I'm submitting my paper tomorrow and I've been trying to rework my thesis statement. I think it's toooo long and it can only be one sentence. My topic is Intelligent Design vs Evolution. We have to remain neutral and present both sides equally, so our thesis statement cannot make a claim for one side or the other. Here is what I have. Anybody have any ideas to help me??

The theory of intelligent design believes in a designer for all life on earth and that evolution could not have occurred, whereas the theory of evolution believes that life on earth evolved form natural selection and happenstance with no external guidance.

Oh gosh, and would it be plagarism if I used what one of ya'll suggest? geez...

Thanks in advance!

Frenchy
February 11th, 2007, 09:44 PM
This is a spay and neuter pro forum , please consult your school books and come back here for an update. :p

Prin
February 11th, 2007, 09:47 PM
The theory of intelligent design believes in a designer for all life on earth and that evolution could not have occurred, whereas the theory of evolution believes that life on earth evolved form natural selection and happenstance with no external guidance.

Is design like creation?


:shrug:

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 09:50 PM
This is a spay and neuter pro forum , please consult your school books and come back here for an update. :p

Thanks for the advice Frenchy. Should I spay my paper and give ya'll the update? :laughing:

Prin, I like that! Yes, intelligent design is like creation. The difference mainly is that ID doesn't necessarily believe in one being, like God or whoever for that creation. Some even believe aliens did it. :eek:

Prin
February 11th, 2007, 09:50 PM
btw, theories don't believe anything, people believe theories.;)

And evolution proponents are always very sensitive to the idea that God may or may not have been involved in the selection process (who created the genes, and who made the weather bad, etc etc) because Darwin, Mr Evolution, was from the era when religion was still very, very important and to say that God was not responsible was looking for trouble... So they always say God/god is still responsible, just in a different way that previously thought.:D

(So I'd leave out the "without the guidance..." part...)

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 09:56 PM
btw, theories don't believe anything, people believe theories.;)

And evolution proponents are always very sensitive to the idea that God may or may not have been involved in the selection process (who created the genes, and who made the weather bad, etc etc) because Darwin, Mr Evolution, was from the era when religion was still very, very important and to say that God was not responsible was looking for trouble... So they always say God/god is still responsible, just in a different way that previously thought.:D

(So I'd leave out the "without the guidance..." part...)

Interesting point. Yes I used to think that people that believed that we got here from the survival of the fittest, or evolved from a single non-living organism didn't believe in God or any higher power. My eyes have been opened a lot lately, but especially doing the research for this paper. I never gave it a lot of thought actually. So anyway, I was looking at the without guidance part and wondering if I should get rid of it. I'm the type who could play with my paper forever and never be completely happy with the finished product. hehe Thanks again for the input...

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 10:01 PM
Intelligent design is the theory whereby all life was created by a designer, whereas evolutionary theory is based on survival of the fittest, without the aid of any supreme being.

Here's what I'm thinking maybe. (I dont' want to take yours word for word, I'd feel guilty. :o )

Intelligent design is the theory that all life was created by external guidance, whereas the theory of evolution states that all life evolved from simple organisms.

Hmm... I'm going to have to play with it some more. See, I didn't really take the angle of Darwinism and the survival of the fittest in my paper. I more took it from the angle of the intelligent design movement being based more on philosophy not science and how the evolution camp is set out to prove that the ID people are not presenting real science like they claim. Basically. lol

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 10:03 PM
btw, theories don't believe anything, people believe theories.;)

I see what you are saying! I did say the theory believes, when it should be the theory states... hmm.. See, I'm glad I asked for help! And this is after 4 people have critiqued my paper. They all missed that!

Prin
February 11th, 2007, 10:05 PM
Too bad Jawert isn't here... She was an English major... She Englishes even gooder than me..:highfive: :D

It helps that your thesis is two things I've studied a lot too- English and evolution. :laughing:

brandynva
February 11th, 2007, 10:35 PM
Too bad Jawert isn't here... She was an English major... She Englishes even gooder than me..:highfive: :D

It helps that your thesis is two things I've studied a lot too- English and evolution. :laughing:

Thanks a lot Prin! I appreciate the input.

Hey I should've interviewed you for my paper. We can use personal interviews. hehe Oh well, it's too late now!

Prin
February 11th, 2007, 10:46 PM
Aww, too bad! :shrug:

joeysmama
February 12th, 2007, 11:01 AM
I like your statement. And no I don't think it's plagiarism to use anything we post here. I think that would only apply if you quoted published material crediting it.

phoenix
February 12th, 2007, 12:12 PM
Nope, it is plagiarism to use any one else's words (or ideas) without giving due credit. Good for you for trying to word it out yourself. Editing is not plagiarism; if someone is just correcting your grammar etc that's ok. (I teach biology and education in a university and previously, in high school...)

Sorry I didn't see this last night, I would have helped you but it is probably too late now. Good luck!

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 03:50 PM
Thanks Phoenix! I try to be really careful about plagarism. I know it's not right ethically number one, and number two I don't want to steal anybody's ideas and take the credit for it. I'll let ya'll know what grade I get! :fingerscr :pray:

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 04:23 PM
But if you do it secretly without Phoenix knowing, then it's not plagiarism. :laughing: Just kidding, Phoenix.:)

When I was in school, I was always sooo careful with plagiarism because there are such career-altering penalties at some universities.

Rick C
February 12th, 2007, 05:44 PM
For information, in the LA Times today, a column examining naysayers of Evolution titled "Dumbing Down Evolution To Kill It.":

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-humes12feb12,0,5583546.story?coll=la-home-commentary

Rick C
www.goldentales.ca

phoenix
February 12th, 2007, 06:42 PM
But if you do it secretly without Phoenix knowing, then it's .

lol... i always know...

it's those eyes they implant in the back of our heads before graduation :laughing:

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 10:21 PM
I noticed nobody told me I was spelling "plagiarism" wrong... :laughing: I didn't even pick up on the fact that I was misspelling until tonight in class. Well I turned in my paper. I used the reworded thesis statement based on Prin's rewording of mine. lol I think I should be safe. Thanks for all the help guys!

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 10:26 PM
based on Prin's rewording of mine. lol I think I should be safe. Thanks for all the help guys!
What? What are you talking about?

Intelligent design is the theory whereby all life was created by a designer, whereas evolutionary theory is based on survival of the fittest, without the aid of any supreme being:laughing:
(Phoenix must be getting angry for no reason somewhere right now.:D)

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 10:33 PM
What? What are you talking about?

:laughing:
(Phoenix must be getting angry for no reason somewhere right now.:D)

No no! I didn't go with that one. Let's see, let me pull up my paper so I can get it right.

Intelligent design is the theory that life was created by an external force, whereas the theory of evolution states that life evolved from simple organisms.
There, that's what I went with. I hope it's far enough away not to be plagiarism...

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 10:42 PM
Oh, yeah, that's not at all what I said.:cool: :D

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 10:50 PM
Oh, yeah, that's not at all what I said.:cool: :D

Good. hehe I took your idea and ran with it. Such as eliminating the thought that evolutionists don't believe that a higher power had influence in life's beginnings. And the fact that I said that the theory of intelligent design can think for itself. :eek: So thanks to you I'm gonig to get an A, right? ;)

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 10:57 PM
Well... Uh... You didn't let me revise the final draft, so you know... :D

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 11:03 PM
Well... Uh... You didn't let me revise the final draft, so you know... :D

Oh shoot man! I may be in real trouble! I didn't want to post it here because I didn't want Frenchy fussing at me because it is not pro spay/neuter.

Although! Our next paper we CAN take a stand. Maybe I'll do it on spay/neuter. Here could be my thesis statement:

All pets should be spayed or neutered. :D

Then I could do a whole bunch with that. hmm....

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 11:15 PM
All pets should be spayed or neutered to help control the pet population, to reduce their risks of reproductive cancers and disorders, and to curb potentially detrimental behavior patterns common in intact dogs.

There, and you have paragraphs 1, 2 and 3 ready to go.:D

brandynva
February 12th, 2007, 11:36 PM
All pets should be spayed or neutered to help control the pet population, to reduce their risks of reproductive cancers and disorders, and to curb potentially detrimental behavior patterns common in intact dogs.

There, and you have paragraphs 1, 2 and 3 ready to go.:D

There ya go! Thanks! How should I cite you in my paper? lol We are supposed to give 3 supporting criteria, and you laid them all out for me. Then we are supposed to give at least 2 opposing criteria then refute them. That's the fun part. :evil: <laughs evilly>

Prin
February 12th, 2007, 11:42 PM
Easy pneasy.:D You have techno for that.:D

The usual arguments are based on development- early neuters leave growth plates open longer and can make bones weaker, and uhhh... don't know a #2... :o

brandynva
February 13th, 2007, 06:56 AM
Easy pneasy.:D You have techno for that.:D

The usual arguments are based on development- early neuters leave growth plates open longer and can make bones weaker, and uhhh... don't know a #2... :o

So their pets can experience the wonderful experience of birth and being a mom... :rolleyes:

phoenix
February 13th, 2007, 08:54 AM
(Phoenix must be getting angry for no reason somewhere right now.:D)


:laughing: so this essay is an example of intelligent design, with Prin as the supreme being lol

Oh, and unless you ask I don't correct spelling errors on the 'net, I'd be in here having coronaries all day...

Prin
February 13th, 2007, 11:52 AM
So their pets can experience the wonderful experience of birth and being a mom... :rolleyes:

Oh yeah, forgot that one. :rolleyes:

hehe I like your analysis Phoenix.:D

brandynva
February 13th, 2007, 03:34 PM
:laughing: so this essay is an example of intelligent design, with Prin as the supreme being lol

Oh, and unless you ask I don't correct spelling errors on the 'net, I'd be in here having coronaries all day...

I hear you there! I'm normally a spelling fiend, but sometimes I do make errors. Even though I tell my husband I'm perfect, I'm not. :D

phoenix
February 13th, 2007, 03:37 PM
never let him know that

Prin
February 14th, 2007, 02:51 AM
Hmm... How do I convince my man I'm perfect? I mean, I am, but he doesn't seem to think so. :confused: :D