Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

advise/help needed- I'm at my witts end!

tarasmom
February 7th, 2007, 08:57 PM
I have a little pup 7 months old ( a Chestie) she is very well trained and mannered. My son & his family moved in with us a few months ago and they have a 7 month old lab hound cross dog. They feed their dog constantly, when I told them its to much, that once a day with snacks in between is enough ( also told them proper amounts) I was told that I was nuts. They dont walk their dog, just let it out in the yard to go potty. It is very hyper( no wonder) and out of control. When I feed my dog I feed her in her kennel and as soon as the door is open he is in their gobbling anything left in her bowl( she likes to pee half way through and go back to her food a little later) I have seen him do this while they sit right beside him and they say nothing. I am getting really pissed cause I dont allow my dog to eat out of the other's bowls( besides I feed mine premuim healthy food they dont). Their dog is often climbing up on my kitchen table( ahhhhhhh) Also the two dogs wrestle roughly, if mine gets irritated she will snap viciously,(she can only tolorate him in small doses, because he gets out of control and wont leave her alone) I have to separate them and inevitably she ends up kennled for a time out( if I can I take her to my room for private play time) He has a crate of his own but cries and howls the whole time he is in there( i mean with no let up at all) and has extreme separation anxiety( its hell when they go out at all) he still will poop and pee in the house( especially if upset) they say using paper to train is stupid. It is really becoming disruptive to my pup( I find she gets out of control if around him for very long, its wierd actually
I have spoken to the kids about this and it ends up in a fight, ( they are way smarter than me of course)They hopefully wont be here long but in the interim, any thoughts?
Please dont tell me they shouldnt have this dog, I already know that! and have told them that. I have told them to find a better family for him, as much as I hate doing that.

cpietra16
February 7th, 2007, 09:09 PM
They obviously seem to know more than you:rolleyes: ...This is your home and your dog. They are interfering in your life. I understand that he is your son, but he needs to understand that there are rules in the house that need to be followed, especially when it comes to your dog and his food. They sound very inconsiderate. Their puppy needs some training!

tarasmom
February 7th, 2007, 09:16 PM
sorry for the double post guys, had to edit and it wouldnt seem to let me, added into the second post.
yes its rude, and OMG yes this dog needs training, I told them to do obedience school, they have little money( neither do I frankly) and are starting over after having moved away for a while. so the schooling is out. The dog will listen to me, but I am loathe to get into indepth training since they will be leaving, and frankly I am not home a lot ( have my own business) so there would be no consitancy for the dog. I guess most of my frustration is seeing how unfair it is to my pup in her own home. The family dynamics are such that anything said to my son erupts in an argument and I am in no mood either mentally or psychologically to deal with it.
I was just hoping perhaps someone else has had to deal with an unruly visitor and how they dealt with it.

papillonmama
February 7th, 2007, 09:37 PM
It's so hard when it's family, 'cause it's so hard to know what to tell them.

You could always printo out some articles from online, like these on how to be a good houseguest, leave them strategically around the house. It's possible that someone will get the hint.

http://www.digsmagazine.com/host/host_goodguest.htm

http://wiwi.essortment.com/houseguest_rxmc.htm

I feel for you, this is the exact reason I won't let my cousin visit.:rolleyes:

4thedogs
February 7th, 2007, 09:37 PM
Personally I would tell him to find another place to stay. If he and his wife disrespect you this much they shouldn't be there.

It is better to feed a pup several times a day if they will take it but not leave it out all the time. I would section off an area for their pup to stay in while in your home. Obviously the pup needs more exercise and if they are not willing to give it you and your pup should not have to pay the price. If this pup is that out of control around food I would wonder if he has worms. Have your son get him checked by a vet. It could also be that he is not feeding it a good food. If it is a corn based as I assume his body doesn't use much of the food and will cause him to always be hungry.

An adolescent puppy needs structure and exercise as well as other things that it seems he is not getting.

Place rules they all have to follow if they want to stay with you. Maybe thir dog needs to remain leashed to them at all times while in the house. Maybe then they will see how much trouble they are causing. This is not the pups fault he is behaving so badly.

tarasmom
February 7th, 2007, 11:01 PM
I agree totally!
herein lays my problem, I have been trying to keep the peace (its a mom thing I guess) and is been 3 months, so now its hard to say or do much, although if lightening could have com out of my eyes tonight at my daughter in law as her dog ate the ramins of tars food, she would burned alive. I am pretty sure she got the message ont that one!
I am thinkign though of sitting them both down tomorrow and telling them I have been as patient as I can be, and if they do not restrain/train their dog, he has to go( god I hate that thought) or he must be kept in the basement with them when mine is out( its only an hour or 2 a day) I know its not the dogs fault and thats whats killing me.
They are not feeding him good food, although they tried my food for a while thinking he just liked it better but nothing changed, my husband and I told them it was a territorial thing, but with proper training it could be rectified, of course nothing.
As far as another place to saty I cant, they have 2 small children no way can I say go with my grandchildren in tow. Thats my issue.
I know there is no answer really, I guess I am just venting and hoping someone else has had this happen. I am such a sucker really, and got myself in situation of total frustration.

mummummum
February 7th, 2007, 11:26 PM
Hi Tarasmom and welcome to the form ~ I see your online at the moment. I'm having a hard time reading through you MASSIVE posts (paragraphs please ???) for specific details like

Can you describe the layout of your house and also I'm wondering if there is a way your day differs at all from theirs? ie. routine > work schedules ?

Dad of Dog's
February 7th, 2007, 11:26 PM
I have children and this would send me through the roof.

tarasmom
February 7th, 2007, 11:42 PM
sorry for all the posts
I am at work all day with my dog,(own my own business and she goes with me) frankly my dog is with me 24/7 except for visits to grocery store, we come home at about 6pm and the **** starts. daughter in law works same hours as me, son is home all day with their dog and youngest grandchild.
layout of house? well 2 story, main floor has livingroom,kitchen dinningroom, all attatched so to speak( kids and dogs run circles though rooms) finished basment(son and family there) bedrooms upstairs ( mine and my other sons( all adults who work or at school during the day, and not home a lot until late at night) their dog only goes upstairs to follow daughter in law to shower or to chase my dog up the stairs. My dog sleeps with me(and hubby, its her favorite place) I send him down if he is up there for any other reason, he moves when I say so ( I have a strong stern voice)

mummummum
February 8th, 2007, 12:10 AM
Okay so, if they've been there for ~ did you say 3 months ? ~ if they are going to be there for a while longer it's time for a family conference to decide on what's working and what's not, . And obviously there's a not a lot working for you. Ground rules are needed.

And you know what that's great. You are obviously letting go of the " I am a Mom" role. Where everything revolves around the kids. Good for for you WOMAN ~ and your grandkids !

Now maybe it's time to take a critical look at your house for the positioning of babygates to prevent your son's dog from entering your and your dog's space (no more soiling, no more more fighting and no more provoking). You may also want to lay down some gound rules about the use of your yard (your concern is about your grandchildren right?) and in order to play their hand into exercizing the dog so he won't be quite so out of control.

And that can also be bonded into your "ground rules" for their continued stay. It is your home and your life.