- Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 


Jesus is watching you ( not a religious thing)

January 18th, 2007, 11:15 PM
One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice -

"Jesus is watching you!" He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again.

"Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house.

He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?"
The parrot answers "Yes I did."
So the burglar says , "What's your name?"
The parrot says "Clarence."
The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?"
The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus'

January 18th, 2007, 11:23 PM
That's like this one:

Wanda's dishwasher quit so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just layed there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him Spike!"

:D :D

January 18th, 2007, 11:25 PM
Tee hee!:D