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Thought you might get a laugh

January 12th, 2007, 05:12 PM
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now...

January 12th, 2007, 05:29 PM
He is obviously retarded!

Tee hee :goodvibes:

January 12th, 2007, 06:29 PM
My goodness that is hilarious:laughing: I love it:D

The funniest part really is "He is obviously retarded":o

January 12th, 2007, 06:39 PM
Oh my god i love it,day 683 of my captivity,:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: and "he must be retarded"is the funniest

January 12th, 2007, 06:49 PM
Loved that, it was hilarious :laughing: .

January 12th, 2007, 09:02 PM
:eek: No cats for hazel! She's already got 6 dogs waiting for her at the top of the stairs! :p

January 12th, 2007, 09:06 PM
he he he! i posted this one a few months ago... but still funny :laughing: