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My Lilly is no longer with me.

January 4th, 2007, 02:41 AM
On Dec 22 I lost my little baby rattie Lilly. On Aug 5 I had lost her sister Daisy. I feel so heartbroken over this. I had a hard time when Daisy passed away but it was a natural death. Lilly's was by euthanasia. It was the hardest choice I ever had to make. My vet specialized in rats and owned them himself. He said I was making the right choice, she had a brain tumor. I tried so many meds but by this time nothing was working. She was suffering. I am having a really hard time trying to accept that what I did was right. I just can't help but feeling that it should not have been my choice that had ended her life. My vet had thanked me for loving her as much as I did. The entire vet clinic became quiet and each spoke words of condolence to me on my way out. I just received a card from them.
I feel heartbroken over it. I didn't want to give up on her but she was in such bad shape that my husband , son and my vet said I was doing the most loving thing I could do for her. I just can't accept that it was euthanasia and not God that took her. Can anybody relate?

January 4th, 2007, 08:15 AM
Absolutely! A friend of mine was living with me for a while and he had 2 ratties. One of them died at home and the other one, we had to take to an emergency clinic on a Sunday to have euthanized :( He also had tumors (in fact, was scheduled to have one removed later that week) and decompensated quickly. Although it was hard (for me too, I really got attached to the little buggers: I was there when he adopted them), I think it was the right decision.

:grouphug: to you!

January 4th, 2007, 09:36 AM
So sorry to hear this. I am sure almost everyone on this board has at one time or another been touched by the decision to euthanize. It is the most difficult thing to do and after a year since the last animal (rabbit) was put to rest my husband and I still feel the guilt of that decision. There was no other decision to make however, and knowing that still does not ease the conscience. I know it is a struggle and there are many bereavement sites on the web that you could visit, perhaps even a message board similar to this with a chat room for live chat on this topic.
Hope you feel better soon.

January 6th, 2007, 12:51 AM
I wanted to thank both of you for your reply.
I have been working on my feelings but I'm finding that I am becomming paranoid about my other pets. I feel any lump or bump and I'm asking my husband to feel this or feel that. I know I gotta just remember the wonderful times with them and give that part of the love to my other fur-babies even more. I guess my feelings on this will be something I have to live with. I just wish it could have been the natural way. Thanks again. At least I know my feelings are normal even though it will still be there.