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it's Just a ....

January 4th, 2007, 02:12 AM
I guess I just don't understand how cruel people can be.
People who say they love you but do they really? I recently lost my last Rattie and I couldn't believe how some "friends" reacted. Before I had a chance to say anything other then my rat passed away I heard a few say " well it was just a rat anyway" or " it's just a rat...ugh" . When I was 15 yrs old my 11 yr old dog passed away and a very close friend said "it's just a dog". I mean what is wrong with people? Are they so heartless to not realize the amount of love our animals bring? Our pets wouldn't think that if a human loved one passed away...they would sense the sadness and try how they could to comfort us. These friendships are now finished as far as I am concerned. It took a "harmless"(I think more like rude) comment like that to see their true identity and realize they obviously didn't notice my little one with me any time they were over, and they were never friends to begin with. So when people say it's just a.....(input pet here) I want to scream at the top of my lungs where they can take their rude remark ... because ya know.... "it's JUST their feelings, and JUST a harmless comment"
Well, those are just my thoughts.
Had to get it out.

January 4th, 2007, 03:59 AM
Those are usually the same type of people that throw their dog in the backyard because "it's just a dog". People like that don't even get to know their animals, or see the animal's own unique personality, so they don't understand how someone could get attached to a pet.

I've had 2 rats, and I encountered all kinds of comments about them. I used to get hassled for taking my first rat outside on leash, as if because she wasn't a dog or cat I shouldn't give her the mental stimulation of laying in the sun, smelling different smells, meeting new people, etc..
I was always surprised though at the amount of people that were accepting and even wanted to meet and pet her. Oddly enough the amount of people that made rude comments was smaller than the amount of people that were open to learning about rats, so I didn't let the rude comments get to me. :shrug: Some people just have no manners, or don't care I guess. Obviously if someone mentions that their pet has died they don't want to hear a snide comment about it, but some people just don't get it.
It's not just limited to animals though, some people will make rude comments about anything. I've had rude comments targetted at me during funerals even. I think some people just don't know when and where to keep their nasty comments to themselves.

January 4th, 2007, 11:21 AM
Even if it's "just a rat", regardless of how they feel about rats, they should realize that it's important to you and upsetting to you and trivializing what is important to you isn't being a good friend.

Now, for the rat, I've had 3 rats before, and I know that you bond with them so much, as much as a dog or any other pet. It really hurts to lose one of your furry friends.:(


January 5th, 2007, 04:24 PM
First let me say I'm sorry for the loss of your pet. I'm not a rat fan but I still would appreciate the fact that this was your pet and you loved it dearly. Some people without pets, and even some with them, don't understand they become family members so when one dies we mourn for it. Sometimes I think people would be better off if they just kept their mouths shut.

January 5th, 2007, 06:28 PM
When my cat died two years ago I did get the same comment from my b/f and it really hurt.:sad: I learned that if my cat comes first or I feel strongly about something it is my right to feel that way. It also helped me realize that I have a right to make choices based on how I feel about things, I don't have to do or feel what others think is best for me, how I feel is important and it is my life. I'm really sorry people are not more understanding, they should be. You are lucky you had the special bond and relationship you had with your rats. :grouphug: It's okay to grieve your loss however you do, it is different for everyone. Sometimes it is more difficult for certain people and it can depend on other things in your life too. With me it was difficult because my cats were like my family, I didn't have anyone and was very isolated. So be easy on yourself our pets can play a big roll in our lives and losing them is not easy.:( :grouphug:

January 6th, 2007, 12:31 AM
I just wanted to say thank-you to all of you who replied.
You made me feel better about it. I know nobody has the right to make a judgement about my feelings about my fur-babies. No matter what others say there is a close group of people who were very good about it. My husband, son, my FIL & MIL (who even kissed them too) sent me a card and my parents and brother. I also have one really great friend who was very symapthetic so I guess I should be grateful for those in my life. It showed me who I want in it and who I don't. How people repond to animals in general tells me what kind of person they are. You all are great. Thanks so much!!!!:)

January 6th, 2007, 08:23 AM
Nikki,I am so sorry for your loss:sad:
I've had to make the desicion to euthanize several times in my lifetime,it's very,very hard,but knowing your animal is no longer suffering will ease the grieving at some point.
Every animal I've loved and lost have a very special corner in my heart,will never be forgotten.
We LOVE them and losing someone you love,whether big or small,young or old
is always heartbreaking and we think we'll never get over it,but you will,with time and understanding from your friends and family.
We should feel sorry for people who have never experienced the love for a pet,or the love and devotion they give us,they are losing out big time,on a never ending love,more than I can say for the love some people give us.
:rip: little ratties

January 16th, 2007, 03:01 AM
thank-you all so very much. by the way ... the :rip: ratties, made me smile. thank-you

January 16th, 2007, 12:16 PM
Im sorry for the passing of your furry baby.

Some people are cruel, some just don't think. There are some like the people or forums like this who understand every bit of pain that you are feeling.

The nicest thing I received was when my Shasta dog was PTS she had pancreatic cancer, I was not with her as she was under the antistetic from the operation to try and remove some of it, the vet phoned me at work and explaned the situation, my head took over my heart and I decided not to bring her round, just so I could say goodbye - even to this day it breaks my heart, the next day I received a knock at my front door, it was the camp padre, he had heard about Shasta, and he had brought me a Shasta Daisy bush, to this day I have never forgotten his act of kindness I did not know this man very well, he must have spent hours trawlling garden centres - all I know was he was there for me - and Im not a reglious person, and I don't think he was being the padre when he brought us the flowers, Shasta ashes lay under her bush. There are some really nice people out there.

January 16th, 2007, 02:21 PM
I'm really sorry for the loss of your pet and friend. And I empathize with what you said about how some people can react. But, if we are big enough, we should really feel sorry for people who react like that, who will go through their whole lives never having the kind of wonderful relationship you (or any of us) have had with our pets, as friends, confidantes, etc. They certainly miss out if they have a pet and say it's just a ....!

January 16th, 2007, 05:33 PM
It's never "just a...", they're your children, your siblings, your best friends, your pillows, your shoulder when humans just don't get you. I'm so sorry for your loss :grouphug:

January 16th, 2007, 05:46 PM
:rip: litte guy..I agree i dont understand either.....Sorry for your loss also,the love and happiness a pet brings you is like no other,i have lost dogs and cats also and the pain is pretty unbearable,so i feel for you.....With time it does get better,that is a fact......

January 16th, 2007, 07:48 PM
I am sorry for your loss. :rip: :candle: And, I agree, they are never "a just". :grouphug:

January 16th, 2007, 07:54 PM

I too have had rats in the past, they make great friends.

Sorry you lost your little buddy. :sad:

January 19th, 2007, 04:48 AM
I just wanted you to know i am feeling better about my little rattie. i know she is with her sister over the Rainbow bridge. Thanks for the support. And about the Shasta bush. That was a beautiful story. I believe you when you say it wasn't the padre.
Thanks for everything.