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Things That Hallmark Cards Don't Say

free
December 18th, 2006, 02:03 PM
1. My tire was thumping.
>>
>> I thought it was flat
>>
>> When I looked at the tire...
>>
>> I noticed your cat.
>>
>> Sorry!

2. Heard your wife left you,
>>
>> How upset you must be.
>>
>> But don't fret about it...
>>
>> She moved in with me.

3.Looking back over the years
>>
>> that we've been together,
>>
>> I can't help but wonder...
>>
>> "What the hell was I thinking?"

4. Congratulations on your wedding day!
>>
>>
>> Too bad no one likes your husband.

5. How could two people as beautiful as you
>>
>> Have such an ugly baby?

6. I've always wanted to have
>>
>> someone to hold,
>>
>> someone to love.
>>
>> After having met you
>>
>> I've changed my mind.

7. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
>>
>> I never believed in Hell until I met you.

8. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
>>
>> That you're not here to ruin it for me.

9.Congratulations on your promotion.
>>
>> Before you go...
>>
>> Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
>>
>> You'll probably need it again.

10. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
>>
>> (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, The Carolinas,

>>West Virginia, Canada)

11. Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
>>
>> Almost Lifelike!

12. When we were together,
>>
>> You always said you'd die for me.
>>
>> Now that we've broken up,
>>
>> I think it's time you kept your promise.

13. We have been friends for a very long time?
>>
>> Let's say we stop?

14. I'm so miserable without you
>>
>> it's almost like you're here.

15.Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
>>
>> Did you ever find out who the father was?

16. Your friends and I wanted to do
>> Something special for your birthday.
>>
>> So we're having you put to sleep.

17. So your daughter's a hooker,
>>
>> And it spoiled your day.
>>
>> Look at the bright side,
>>
>> It's really good pay.

Byrd
December 18th, 2006, 02:13 PM
10. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, The Carolinas, West Virginia, Canada)

Canada????


I have someone I wouldn't mind getting #13 for.

erykah1310
December 18th, 2006, 02:59 PM
LOL, uncle Dad, reminds me of the Uncle Grandpa comdian guy.:D thats hilarious.