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Signs You Bought A Bad Christmas Tree

December 10th, 2006, 11:38 PM
Signs You Bought A Bad Christmas Tree

10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide

9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"

8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it

7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride

6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it

5. It keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list

4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it

3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours

2. Some guy named Akbar puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it

and number one reason, you bought a bad christmas tree:

1. It's constantly bragging about its "trunk size"