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how can I help?

kmjx65
November 28th, 2006, 07:44 PM
Ugh I have to let this out because it's makes me mad!

How can I help my "friend" (and I use this term loosely) and especially the dogs?!?!

So I know this girl by association. She's the typical fashion forward, image oriented, materialistic girl. Of course when the whole toy dog as an accessory craze was booming, she got herself a cute little pom and her sister got a yorkie. That was last year and I haven't really spoken to her or anything until recently.

I went to visit her house a little bit ago and was completely horrified with the dogs' conditions. She claims that her dog the pom is too stupid to train and failed puppy class twice. My opinion is that she didn't really take the time to do the homework and really teach the dog.

So...since the dogs are not potty trained run out of the house when the door is open (mainly to escape bc they're unhappy), she keeps both the yorkie and the pom locked in a crate!!!! all day!!! they might get mb 2 hours out of the crate to go potty and eat mb walk around the house and that's it. 22 hours in the crate together!!!!! :eek: The crate is maybe a little over a 12" in length!! It's for one small puppy!!!

Both dogs are grossly overweight and can't even jump over 3ins...barely off the ground!! Apparently she doesn't have any time to take care of the dog and she lives with her mom and grandma. The grandma thinks it's funny to feed the dogs all day!!!!

Both dogs have horrendously bloated bellies, awful breath and their teeth are about to fall out.

I've offered to to buy the dog from her but she refuses. My other friend tells me it's bc she considers the dog her possession and would never give it to anyone bc it's her's. I've also tried to set up play dates between her dogs and mine but it only happened once and the pom was absolutely terrified.

What can I do to help her be a better dog owner? She thinks everything is perfectly okay...mainly bc her brain doesn't function properly!

jesse's mommy
November 28th, 2006, 07:52 PM
That's abuse and should be reported.

Joey.E.CockersMommy
November 28th, 2006, 07:59 PM
Those poor dogs - I know she is your friend (sort of) but I agree with JM :)

TeriM
November 28th, 2006, 08:02 PM
I agree that is abuse! Perhaps kidnapping? If you bought her an exercise pen do you think she would at least use that for the two dogs?

Frenchy
November 28th, 2006, 08:02 PM
OMG I don't know what to say ! That's horrible ! Maybe explain to her that a dog is not a toy,she can't just leave them there. Explain all the health problems they will have without any exercise and too much food. Explain she could be reported to humane society,it's total negligence on her part,same as animal cruelty. Ask her WHY she still has them if she's not taking care of them and they would be better off if she turned them over to a rescue. And if that doesn't work,just dognap them.:evil:

Frenchy
November 28th, 2006, 08:04 PM
Perhaps kidnapping?

Posted same thing , same time :highfive:

TeriM
November 28th, 2006, 08:04 PM
Can you talk to the mother or grandma? I think you really do need to get in her face about the reality of the situation!

erykah1310
November 28th, 2006, 08:36 PM
:sad: poor dogs :sad: i would definately report this, those dogs deserve such a better life... :sad:

we3beagles
November 28th, 2006, 10:29 PM
Will animal services do anything? Technically she is not abusing...just neglecting and being a disgusting human being. What if you invite her to our forum? Let us at her....

springermom0406
November 28th, 2006, 11:21 PM
She is abusing if they are emaciated. Call the police or local humane law enforcement.

technodoll
November 28th, 2006, 11:42 PM
totally disgusting :sad: those poor creatures... condemned to hell on earth at the hands of an ignorant two-legged animal. it breaks my heart. if you threaten to report them to Animal Control, etc - would it change anything? tell them the fines are huge and they could use that money on lipgloss and new shoes instead :mad:

rainbow
November 29th, 2006, 01:45 AM
OMG I don't know what to say ! That's horrible ! Maybe explain to her that a dog is not a toy,she can't just leave them there. Explain all the health problems they will have without any exercise and too much food. Explain she could be reported to humane society,it's total negligence on her part,same as animal cruelty. Ask her WHY she still has them if she's not taking care of them and they would be better off if she turned them over to a rescue. And if that doesn't work,just dognap them.:evil:

I agree and I would confront her, the mother and the grandmother. If the situation isn't corrected then I would report them for animal neglect.

kmjx65
November 29th, 2006, 02:55 AM
It's a bit more of a rock and a hard place for me. She's actually my older sister's ex-best friend. They were best friends for 10 years and had a bit of a falling out so now they're more like friends/acquaintences. I don't really see or talk to her much.

I can't really talk to her mom or grandma just because of the language barrier. Unfortunately their first language is not English, they are Korean

(I regrettably tell you all this piece of information since I am a Korean American ugh its embarrasing for me...please don't think all Korean ppl are like this they're not)...

anyway due to cultural norms/values I cannot approach them or tell them what to do or that what they are doing is wrong since I'm only in my early 20s and they're a relatively prominent family in the asian community...(my parents would get backlash that they don't need to stress over) hence the spoiled daughter who gets whatever 'possession' she wants. Plus my Korean is horrible.

I'll try my best to talk to her and encourage her to bring the dogs over for more play dates. I've offered to dog sit them every weekend bc she travels a lot. I think I'll get her dogs some gifts for christmas.....I like the idea of the exercise pen.....or maybe a larger crate? I dunno.

When she and my sister were on better terms....encouraged her to bring the dogs for play dates (hence that one tme) but she started getting suspicious When we mentioned to her how I wanted another dog friend for Ebie.

She's also the type of person who hates being told she is doing something wrong and if anyone tries to give her advice or tell her what to do she just responds with 'whatever' and rolls her eyes. Not the most approachable person even if you have good intentions.

I'll try my best.

badger
November 29th, 2006, 09:16 AM
Tell them what they are doing is cruel under the law and unless they stop, you will report them. No discussion. If you can manage to get a couple of pictures of the dogs in the crate (on a cell, for example), do it. It might help any investigation.
What a bunch of monsters.

springermom0406
November 29th, 2006, 09:50 AM
If it were me I'd call the humane law officers anonymously. Do you have a Humane Society or SPCA in your area?

joeysmama
November 29th, 2006, 11:42 AM
I'm all on board with the dognapping idea ! ;)

And remember that you aren't responsible for the behavior of other people of your ethnic background. We're all individuals, regardless of ethnicity. This girl isn't a terrible doggie mommy because she's Korean. She's a bad mommy because she's spoiled.

(Of course when someone of my same background does something GOOD I'm all over that--taking credit for it ! LOL ! ;) )

we3beagles
November 29th, 2006, 12:14 PM
She is abusing if they are emaciated. Call the police or local humane law enforcement.

They are not emaciated. They are overweight.
Crating them for that long every day, however is neglect and probably a crime (you'd need to check where you live).
Dognapping sounds like a good solution to me too. Just don't get caught. In most places dogs are lawfully considered posessions (revolting but true) and you will go to jail.

~michelle~
November 29th, 2006, 12:18 PM
dognap them and bring them to me!! i :love: poms..... call the SPCA, theres no room for bull **** here a life is in danger. the dog is in physical and emotional crisis. talking to her obviously isnt going to work. or maybe play in to her i want to be pretty perfect and spoiled routine, tell her the dog makes her place smell or something those types of girls would freak out about... you know what i mean? make the dog seem more of a burden to her than it would be worth to keep it and then offer to help he rehome it. once she sees the dog is "not cool" and "icky" she'll realize it drops her "paris hilton" iconic status, and she'll no longer want it around.

we3beagles
November 29th, 2006, 12:26 PM
Ohhh michelle, I love it. Next time you see her give her a sniff and say "Wow, all I can smell is doggy on you". She'll drop that little pup so fast it'll make your head spin.

Frenchy
November 29th, 2006, 12:42 PM
You guys are :evil: But it could work.....:fingerscr

~michelle~
November 29th, 2006, 12:45 PM
i am :evil: indeed...... but evil for a good cause.....

kmjx65
November 29th, 2006, 02:42 PM
Some of those sounds like excellent ideas. I don't think I'll be able to get any pictures of the dogs since I haven't been over to her place in awhile. I know she has taken the pom to the vet recently...my sister told me the vet said the dog is really overweight and needs to get ther teeth cleaned. Mb i can call the humane society and report it as neglect (she might think it's her vet that called annoymously out of concern and not think it's me at all) :D

Some other approaches I'm going to take:
I know one thing was that she is in some debt (oddly enough) bc she's trying to start her own business (not going to succeed) and has thought several times about selling the dog so she has some money (ugh disgusting!). I'm going to offer her money (I'll have to save up some I doubt she'll give them up for less than $200-300 for each maybe more bc she bought the dog at a higher price and might want to charge the cost of care. :yell: Evil Selfish B****) to buy the dogs. I know of a Pom rescue here in my area but I'm not sure where an SPCA is.

Does anyone know of one in the Washington area? Anyone aware of rules/laws I should no about? Who would be best to contact the humane society or SPCA (if we have one)?

Has anyone who has assisted the Humane Society or the SPCA let me know things they provided to assist and have successful results?

Dog napping won't work since both her mom and grandma are stay at homes and she lives at home.

I'll start doing some research and also offer to walk her dogs when I'm available and for free...she might take up the offer (plus it sets up an opportunity as well :evil: )

Thanks for the advice. I'll keep you guys posted..but this might be a long and slow process.

jawert1
November 29th, 2006, 03:27 PM
I really haven't anything to offer other than what's already been suggested, but wanted to say hang in there. You're doing your best by trying to help and I really hope you can get the attention of the Humane Society, which there may be an anonymous hotline number listed in your phone books Blue Pages. Good luck and keep us posted, I hope you're able to get those two little ones out of that hell :pawprint:

springermom0406
November 29th, 2006, 05:10 PM
Woops! I read that wrong. For some reason I missed the overweight part lol.

kmjx65
December 7th, 2006, 02:15 PM
Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been trying to get in touch with her. Apparently she's been out of town and is supposed to get back sometime next week. Let's hope she will react well to my approaches.

LynLyn
December 9th, 2006, 11:02 PM
wish you luck!! hope those doggies end up in a better home!