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Christmas for men

technodoll
November 13th, 2006, 11:06 PM
When she says: "What would you like for Christmas?" Here's what to suggest!!

Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. For that matter any power tool is a good choice. He may not need it, or know what it does, but it will look good hung on the peg board in the garage.

Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"

Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties and never buy men bathrobes. If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. We do not stink - we are earthy.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow!Thanks.")

Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12:
Tickets to a professional sports game (any team within 300 miles) are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."

Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope.

Rule #16:
Clamps. Men can never have enough quick grip clamps. No one knows why

Rule #17:
Buy your man Duct Tape. This is a man's most universal repair tool. All men know, if you can't fix it, duct it.

SunGurl372
November 13th, 2006, 11:13 PM
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Have to disagree with this one. By all means, buy him that fancy liqueur. And when it becomes apparent he's not going to touch it, go ahead and enjoy yourself!!!

Bushfire2000
November 13th, 2006, 11:13 PM
This is a hoot. And just what I need as HB has yet to tell me what he'd like for christmas. I'm thinking a cordless drill would be a great addition to the tool shed. bought him the ladder last year.

Prin
November 13th, 2006, 11:24 PM
Is this real? Because it looks so real. :D

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
"Grade 1" ladder... Grade 2 is not what the pros use so forget it. :D

And for the drill, 36volts is the in thing now. Anything less than that will make him feel like less of a man.:D

technodoll
November 13th, 2006, 11:31 PM
Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

i have proof this is true:

http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j129/technodoll/P1010069.jpg

HunterXHunter
November 14th, 2006, 10:09 AM
Have to disagree with this one. By all means, buy him that fancy liqueur. And when it becomes apparent he's not going to touch it, go ahead and enjoy yourself!!!

But don't forget to refill it with tea/ice tea or anything liquid that is similar in color :thumbs up

Rick C
November 14th, 2006, 10:14 AM
Buy him a playstation portable (PSP) . . . . much more interesting than a cordless drill.

signed

A New Age Man

~michelle~
November 14th, 2006, 10:35 AM
sorry to disagree with you rick, but if you want any attention from your man do not buy him a psp. youll be going to bed by yourself for the next few weeks and be listening to "just after i beat this level" all the time

Prin
November 14th, 2006, 01:45 PM
sorry to disagree with you rick, but if you want any attention from your man do not buy him a psp. youll be going to bed by yourself for the next few weeks and be listening to "just after i beat this level" all the time

omg, Michelle I thought the SAME thing. My man wants video games, but I want my man... Can't have both.:D

erykah1310
November 14th, 2006, 02:00 PM
OMG TD that picture is definately photographic proof!

Love the expression on hubbys face!
Priceless!

Hunter's_owner
November 14th, 2006, 02:01 PM
omg, Michelle I thought the SAME thing. My man wants video games, but I want my man... Can't have both.:D

Same here. My man will NOT be getting a psp or whatever for this Christmas. He may want one, and yes it would be such a good gift for him, but I will settle for getting him something else, lol. (That way we are both happy:D )

technodoll
November 14th, 2006, 02:01 PM
:D erykah, notice the "fire" - go caveman, go! :D

(it was tasty though carcinogenic!) :p

Cathy1
November 14th, 2006, 02:04 PM
Here's a pic of the perfect christmas gift for a man.

technodoll
November 14th, 2006, 02:09 PM
hey are you crazy? don't post this in a public forum! men read this too and will all be clamoring for one! :eek:

Prin
November 14th, 2006, 02:11 PM
Little do they know, when they press half those buttons, a man shows up. Especially the "beer" button.

"Hey did somebody say "beer"?" :D

Cathy1
November 14th, 2006, 02:12 PM
hey are you crazy? don't post this in a public forum! men read this too and will all be clamoring for one! :eek:

My husband dared me to display this picture. He wants one.

technodoll
November 14th, 2006, 02:50 PM
My husband dared me to display this picture. He wants one.

he he he - tell him "when fish ride bicycles" :D

Rick C
November 14th, 2006, 03:27 PM
sorry to disagree with you rick, but if you want any attention from your man do not buy him a psp. youll be going to bed by yourself for the next few weeks and be listening to "just after i beat this level" all the time

Hmmmm . . . . . I guess its not a good sign that Mrs. C was the one who gave me a PSP last Christmas . . .

Actually, you can freeze the game simply by shutting it off . . . .

Strangely, we're both typically sitting on the couch, I'm on the PSP while Mrs. C is watching hockey (I'm listening) with a cat on her lap and Abby and Keeper scrunched up around us.

Why, that darned PSP has brought the family together!!!

Rick C
www.goldentales.ca

wdawson
November 14th, 2006, 08:05 PM
i'm off to best buy right now.......only an hour before they close......gotta get that remote.....gotta get that remote....:D

technodoll
November 14th, 2006, 09:15 PM
hey wayne, look what i'm getting for christmas! :D

http://plig.org/things/pictures/ATT00020.jpg

Cathy1
November 14th, 2006, 09:20 PM
That one is much better.:thumbs up

wdawson
November 14th, 2006, 09:20 PM
damn........only a matter of time before they gave us that,whats good for the goose is good for the gander tactic.....:D