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Goodbye my precious girl...

Lili
November 6th, 2006, 09:45 PM
Hi everyone!

Wow... I will have trouble writing my first post here, as my tears already blur my vision. I found this site today, surfing on the net to find sites dedicated on the wonderful world of pets.

It happens that I had to say goodbye to my beloved Doberman, Chloe, on October 25.

Like some of you, it was really, and I mean really sudden! Sure, I had noticed that she stumbled from time to time, or that when taking walks, it seems as if her back legs were too heavy to lift high enough, making her scratch her nails on the pavement…

But she was still her usual happy – hello I think I’m a puppy and I want to play with you – self!

Then I got home on that faithful Wednesday night after work, to find her laying on the floor, when usually she would have been standing with her favorite stuffed animal in her mouth, winning so that I come greet her already! She was paralyzed… At first, I though only the back legs were affected, but at the vet later on, we found that even though she had reflexes in her 4 legs, they were not able to support her anymore. She was looking at me, confused, as to say, you know I want to stand, to go outside, to play, but… I can’t… That is the toughest of it all – she was all there you know? I feel like I gave up on her, like I played God deciding it was time for her to go… But I know I could not have done anything, and it was in her best interest to leave at this moment… But gosh was it all happening so fast. Got back home around 5:30 PM, and at 7:30 PM, she was gone… Whew!

I had a Welsh Terrier for 16 years and her for 9 out of her 12 years, but although I adored my Welsh, Chloe was simply one of a kind. She looked directly into my eyes as she was talking to me. I read her like a book. I understood her. She was a show dog for the first years of her life, making her a super well socialized and well tempered dog… I was blessed to find her! She was a Cadillac of a dog, as Doberman’s are often referred to.

I’ve lived all my adult life “on my own” with her… Now I have an empty home, that’s quite an adjustment. But more than that I think is that pets make us feel needed and loved. Now I feel like nobody needs me you know?! My friends and family will beg to differ, but I’m sure you know what I mean…

This dog was the best dog e-ver (as they all are to us!) and I don’t know how I could replace her. But I will give myself some time, and I’m almost positive that when the right time comes along, I will open my heart and my home to another dog. In the meantime, I’ll try to enjoy my responsibility-free life, while feeling so guilty to have wished I could have that life from time to time while Chloe was with me… Ah guilt…

Ok, I think I’ve stretched this long enough, but I thank you in advance simply for reading my story, Chloe’s story… I really hope she’s ok wherever she is, and that we will see each other again one day? Silly? Maybe, maybe not!

Lili

H.P.
November 6th, 2006, 10:01 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, Chloe was a beautiful baby. Her eyes look so sweet and friendly. She is playing now, and you are not silly, I believe that you will play again with her one day.

we3beagles
November 6th, 2006, 10:03 PM
The one thing I see with every dog that had to be pts is the guardian asking themselves if they did the right thing. You know in your heart that you did and there was nothing else you could do. Chloe with thank you with kisses and be waiting with her toy in her mouth for you at the bridge. It is not silly at all and I firmly believe you will see her again.
You will know when the time is right and keep your eyes open. My little Callie came 1 month after my Capone died and it really was the best thing that happened to me. One day we were talking about rescuing a little female lemon beagle and the next a rescue group was calling us with our little dream dog.
It is so funny to me that when we first got her that she would put her little bum in the air and play with what appeared to be thin air. That was in the old house and she doesn't do that anymore.
I am soo sorry for your loss and I feel a tightness in my chest just knowing you are going through this tonight. Grieve thoroughly as it is like any other loss. :grouphug:

Bushfire2000
November 6th, 2006, 10:06 PM
She was a beautiful dog.:angel: I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that in some way it helps for you to know that her story has been heard.

Prin
November 6th, 2006, 11:21 PM
So pretty! I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug:

Joey.E.CockersMommy
November 7th, 2006, 12:16 AM
Aww she was a sweetie - its so obvious that you two shared a very special bond - I hope you can think of all the happy memories with her - to help ease the pain of losing her. :grouphug:

I am very sorry for your loss. :rip: :pray: :angel:

mummummum
November 7th, 2006, 12:18 AM
What a lovely, sweet-tempered girl she seems to be ~ so happy just to be. How lucky you were to have found each other. :candle:

Mahealani770
November 8th, 2006, 12:35 PM
I am at work, in tears, again..sigh. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Hoepfully time will help the pain. You will be with her one day, trust.
:grouphug: :rip: Chloe:candle:

Dogastrophe
November 8th, 2006, 02:12 PM
Sorry to hear about your girl. I can relate to how you are feeling as I lost my Monty very suddenly a few weeks ago.

Although it is a difficult decision to let them go, you can take comfort in knowing that you did everything you could for her and loved her as she loved you. :pawprint:

chico2
November 8th, 2006, 02:16 PM
Lili,I am certain there is not one person here,who have not felt the guilt you are feeling right now,having to decide the fate of a much loved friend.
But it's because we love them,that we are the only ones to decide when life becomes a struggle and too painful,Chloe thank's you for it,she's at peace now.
She was very beautiful,the way only a Dobie can be..:pray: sweet Chloe:rip:

Skryker
November 8th, 2006, 04:32 PM
:sorry: for your loss. She was a pretty girl. You made the best choice for Chloe, no matter how hard it was. She knew you acted with love for her; you didn't give up on her, you gave her mercy. :grouphug:

Lili
November 27th, 2006, 01:36 PM
Sorry I took so long to come back and thank you all for you kind words. They help me a lot... November 25th marked one month since my darling Chloe left... It is still very hard, but I'm just so thankful to have had such a wonderful companion.

Sincerely,

Lili

vona
November 28th, 2006, 10:38 PM
How are you making out? So often, with loss, we get a lot support when it first happens and as time goes on that support wanes. I've lost such wonderful dogs and I've never forgotten them. I often still cry when I think of them. I just found your post and I felt for you.

How are you doing?

Lili
December 4th, 2006, 12:07 PM
Hi Vona!

I'm doing ok I guess... It's still really hard to think of my girl without getting upset, like now, but I'm adjusting to my new life without her. You're right, people around me probably think I already forgot about her, but then again, most of them never owned an animal or did not have the kind of relationship I had with Chloe.

The special place she had in my life is undescribable.

Thanks so much for thinking of me! :)

Lili

Mahealani770
December 5th, 2006, 08:54 AM
Lili,
I hope you're doing well and it's getting a little better for you. I wanted to ask you, what exactly happened to Chloe? What caused her to become paralyzed?
:rip: Chloe

Lili
December 23rd, 2006, 05:43 PM
I'm doing better, thanks, although Christmas day will mark 2 months since Chloe's passing... *sigh*

Anyway, I think the paralysis was caused by the Wobbler's Disease...

Here's some info on it... Pretty common in Dobermans.

http://www.chetbacon.com/wobblers.html

Hope all of you who are visiting this particular forum may find happiness and peace during the holiday season. I'm sure our beloved pets are with us in spirit! :candle:

Lili

brandynva
December 25th, 2006, 11:23 PM
I'm sorry this is a little late, but you have my condolensces. I understand the special connection thing. I believe our animals will be waiting for us on the other side and I know you will see her again. :candle: :rip:

Lili
February 15th, 2007, 12:41 PM
I want to thank you all again for your kind support. Of course, I'm still missing my wonderful Doberman, but I try to think of all the joy she brought me instead of her passing...

I recently found a stash of wonderful pics of Chloe. Should I post some of them? :)

Lili

Frenchy
February 15th, 2007, 12:48 PM
I recently found a stash of wonderful pics of Chloe. Should I post some of them? :)

Lili

I think you should ;)

Winston
February 15th, 2007, 01:14 PM
Lili

I was so moved by your story it brought tears to my eyes! God Bless your little one! You probably have heard this poem before but thought I would post it to bring some hope to all of us who have lost one of our furry friends!

I hope you will be able to find another precious one to steal your heart!

Cindy
:candle:

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

chico2
February 15th, 2007, 02:42 PM
Lili,I read Chloe's and your story again,her name reminds me of another Chloe who also passed last year.:sad:
Of course you should show us some more pics of Chloe,as many as you want.:thumbs up
Dobermans are beautiful dogs,I was hoping maybe you had another Dobie by now,but it is of course a big step to take.
There was a beautiful red Dobie,one of many dogs rescued from a Quebec puppy-mill resently,but I can surely understand if you are not yet ready to share your life with another dog.:rip: Beautiful Chloe

Lili
February 23rd, 2007, 01:52 PM
People are so great here. Thanks again and again for your support!

K! I'll post some pics soon! :)

Chico2, I'm moving into a house this summer, so until then, I'll stay put. But I think the urge of getting another dog will be stronger by that time. I saw a red dobie up for adoption a while back in Montreal, Moussa I believe? Are there others available now? Aw, now's not a good time though... I'll definitively look into rescue if I get another dog, that's for sure!

Lili

cherokee
February 23rd, 2007, 08:49 PM
very sorry for your loss our heart goes out to you... it does get easier with time ... we lost our cat named Basco in a fire almost 4 years ago now... we still think about him... now we have Misty a cross rotti and we were ready for her... we hummed and hauwed for a long time about getting another pet.. we werent ready till now... :goodvibes:

Spirit
February 24th, 2007, 06:37 PM
Wow. I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner (I just read it now). In all honesty, though dobies are beautiful dogs, I've just never been a huge fan of them. However, reading your thread made me not only feel like I knew him, but liked him too. I'm a bit choked up after reading your story!

She just seems like a such beautiful dog with a great personality, and a loyal loving compaion to boot. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my cat just 6 days after you lost your Chloe, and she too was my life. Maybe they're off romping together! That'd be nice... she never did have any puppy friends (except my dog, of course... but he was too puppyish for her liking - poor dog... always wanting to play with her. She wanted no part of that! LOL).

:lovestruck: :lovestruck:

Clio
February 24th, 2007, 06:58 PM
I'm so sorry about Chloe. I lost my dog after 20 years last January and the hurt never goes away but the pain gets easier to live with.

"THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear."
Rudyard Kipling

rainbow
February 25th, 2007, 01:26 AM
I never seen you post before either. :o I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :candle:

Lili
March 1st, 2007, 10:20 PM
Well, here I am again with more pics of my Chloe! (*Pout* I can only upload one pic... The others are too big... Donno how to resize them... Oh well, this one, is actually my fave!)

Looking at this pic makes me miss her so much. Can't imagine being lucky enough to share my life with a pure soul as she had. Maybe it's just that I'm not ready to let her go yet, therefore, I can't open up my heart to the possibility of another dog... In time...

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart for your tremendous support!

I'll be coming back here to get my doggy fixes, and maybe, when the time is right, I'll adopt one dog who will be in need of a home.

Lili :)
PS. Chloe, I'll never forget you my "good girl"...

chico2
March 2nd, 2007, 08:46 AM
Lili,what a stunning girl she was,absolutely beautiful:lovestruck:
Nobody expects you to let her go from your heart,she will remain in your heart forever.
There are no rules about how long you can grieve the loss of someone you love.
The pain will lessen with time,but the love and happy times together are forever with you.
Thank's for the beautiful pic of Chloe.

Frenchy
March 2nd, 2007, 09:21 AM
There was a beautiful red Dobie,one of many dogs rescued from a Quebec puppy-mill resently,but I can surely understand if you are not yet ready to share your life with another dog.:rip: Beautiful Chloe

There 3 red Dobies, they are not up for adoption (waiting for the trial) so maybe when they do get up for adoption, Lili will be ready to adopt too ? It would be perfect timing ! :thumbs up I saw them and they are beautiful and I heard they are really nice and affectionate.

Frenchy
March 2nd, 2007, 09:22 AM
Lili, Chloe was a beauty :rip:

glasslass
March 2nd, 2007, 09:25 PM
I missed this post originally too. You will find yourself having those teary moments for years. It does get easier. You learn to let it out, shed a few tears, and then switch gears to something else to distract your thoughts. I still mourn for my pets that have been gone more than 20 years now. It's going to be one happy reunion someday at the bridge. Wonder if they all play together? The members here understand what you've been going through. She was a beauty!

Lili
October 25th, 2007, 10:40 PM
Hi everyone!

Well I'm back - 1 year later to the day... Chloe had been pts around 7:30 p.m. on October 25 of last year...

I still appreciate so much the support you gave me. One thing though is that I never thought the pain would still be so vivid 1 year after... My memories of my Dobie are so clear and present... It's good in a sense, but also difficult because they remind me of what I am missing out on...

Anyway, I'm craving more and more the need for some "doggy love"... I'm sure one day, maybe soon, I'll get another dog. But one thing I'll need to do is be ready to open my heart freely and not compare the new one to my Chloe. She was unique - like everybody is... :) There is no replacing her...

Here are 2 more pics of her...

My thoughts are with all of you going through a similar process...

Lili