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Am I doing the right thing?

November 6th, 2006, 03:06 PM
I haven't been on in a while but this is the only place that has ever given me comfort when it comes to my cats. I have 4 cats and have always managed quite well. They have all been very healthty for the most part so vet bills are never a problem. Now I have a problem and I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. I recently got out of a 4 year relationship and had to move home with my parents. At first the cats had to stay in the garage because my dad was not having them in the house. After the first few cold days and many tears from me he agreed that I could put them in a spare bedroom where they would be warm. My parents have a dog which is why them being in the house is an issue but in the room they seem to be fine.... My parents and family and friends have all been telling me that its time to find them homes because I am not in a position to have them right now. My mom had called the local spca's to see if she could take them there, but I refuse. She also suggested that we put an add in the paper. I rescued two of them and two of them are a product of my stray female. If I take them to the SPCA I am just adding to the problem I was trying to find a solution too. And I know how many animals out there need homes, I would just be adding 4 more to the list than never ends. I have had them all since they were kittens and I do believe that if you get a pet you should have it for life. I guess my question I a horrible person for making them live in that one room until I get my feet back on the gorund. I plan on getting my own place on the 1st of Jan which means they have 2 months to go being in that one room. They are fed and warm and healthy the only thing they seem to be missing is constant human contact. I do spend time with them every day and when my parents leave with the dog I let them out to venture. I don't want to give them away, I'm just in a rough spot right now, but am I being selfish by forcing them to live in that one room or will they survive the two months until Jan when life will be back to normal? I need advice from people that truly understand the relationships that we share with our pets!!!

November 6th, 2006, 03:19 PM
You aren't being irresponsible by not giving them up at all.
If you're going to be in your own place within a certain amount of time I would just wait. Even the sweetest cats often don't do well being put into a new home, and if you rehome them there's also no guarantee that person will end up keeping them.
We've adopted 2 cats so far and both of them were extremely sweet at the shelter, yet when we took them home it took them several months to actually bond to us and start interacting. We rescue the cats that have been there the longest, so after being there for several months and then being moved they were more stressed than if they'd been left at the shelter. Cats are pretty territorial (not in a bad way necessarily), so they hate being moved somewhere they're not used to, especially if their owner disappears.

Basically, I think they're better living in one room for a couple of months, with you still there to care for them so they'll feel safe, than being moved to somewhere new with lots of space and being stressed out. Lots of space means nothing to a cat if they don't feel safe, they'd much rather be in a small space where they feel secure than a very large one where they feel scared. I'm sorry, but I think the people telling you to get rid of them don't know much about cats. When a cat is thrown into a place that they don't know they'll often just hide anyway, or stay in a small area, so what does space mean to them if they're just going to hide or limit themselves to one room?

And no offense, but what the heck is your mom thinking when she wants to take them to the SPCA? The SPCA is normally full and the cats would be stuck in a cage or euthanized, so how is that better? Our last cat was adopted at an SPCA and he'd been there for SIX months. Locked in a tiny cage for six months waiting for adoption, that's what she wants?

doggy lover
November 6th, 2006, 03:26 PM
Is there someone who could take them in until you get on your feet again. I took a friends cat in for a year when she left her hubby and had to stay at her parents who had two dogs. I know it would be a lot to ask of a friend, but if you pay for all their needs including food, litter and vet bills on the understanding that you will once again take them when things change. It would be better than giving them up totally.

November 6th, 2006, 03:49 PM
I have asked all of those that can help but Have gotten no where! Most of my family members own dogs and most of my friends still live at home with there parents. Its either find them new homes or tough it out here. I prefer the second option I'm just getting sick and tired of people telling me that I am a bad pet owner by forcing them to live this way, and having them tell me that they would be better off somewhere else. Every one around me seems to think that they are a burden. I can't go on vacation whenever I want and I sometimes have to go without so they don't. I vacuum more than most people and finding a cat hair in your breakfast is not unsual. I know I'm crazy having 4 of them but people have 4 kids. Whats the difference. I am very hard headed on one thing and that is that I don't feel that anyone can provide for them what I do. So many people have said that cats are impartial and wouldn't remember me after two weeks in a new home. I don't believe that. I think they are well aware of who mom is and would not be the cats that they are without me. They have problems with peeing in some places they shouldn't. I have dealt with this for 4 years and don't I expect anyone else to put up with a cat that sometimes feels the need to pee where ever. And that is my biggest fear, if I give them away how can I be sure that they will be taken care of, that the first pee on a blanket wouldn't get them a one way ticket to the slaughter house. How can I make my family and friends understand that I have given up so much in the last 3 weeks, I can't dare give up the 4 things that get me out of bed every morning. How can I convince them that this is just a bump in the road and I know things will get better I just need a little time

November 6th, 2006, 04:01 PM
SPCA is not an option. Perhaps the Meow Foundation of Calgary would be a better choice. Here is a link Not that I want to see you give up your furbabies at all. If you can find a way to keep them that would definitly be best case scenario. Maybe contact them to see if there are other options beside rehoming. maybe some caring foster home can take them till you are back on your feet.
The people who tell you they are a burden are the same people who probably feel that way about their children too. They simply won't understand the love and commitment you have to these cats. I've run into that a lot too.
Prayers that you get back on your feet fast and can have a comfortable place for your kitties and you too. :pray:

November 6th, 2006, 04:11 PM
I did call the meow foundation to see if foster care would be an option, but the way the meow foundation looks at it is that they are in a home, they are fed and they are healthy. There are cats in worse positions and I can't blame them for taking on that point of view.

P.S. I keep praying to the lottery gods but its not working

November 6th, 2006, 04:12 PM
jenjen,There is no question in my mind,that your cats are better off with you,even if for the time being they are kept in one room.
Some people seem to think,your mom included,cats are independant and don't care who they are with,as long as they are fed.
They could not be more wrong,your cats are ALWAYS better off with you,the person they love and who loves them back.
So please,don't even think of giving them to SPCA,they would be very unhappy cats.
I am really sorry you are in this situation,but it's only for a couple of months,the cats will be fine in one room,they have each other and you:cat:
I too have a cat with peeing(spraying) problem,were I ever to give him up,which will never happen,I am sure he would not live very long.
Keep them company as often as you can and I am certain everything will work out in the end:thumbs up

November 6th, 2006, 04:14 PM
So many people have said that cats are impartial and wouldn't remember me after two weeks in a new home. I don't believe that. I think they are well aware of who mom is and would not be the cats that they are without me

People that say those things have NO idea what they're talking about. My b/f's dad died several months ago and his cat still looks for him and seeks out things that smell like him. He'll sometimes smell something that belonged to him and start meowing.
One of my adopted cats, who is 7 now, is just starting to be friendly with us and we've had him for 2 years. Most cats don't forget someone they're bonded to and then just suddenly choose someone else.
I have a cat that I didn't take with me when I moved away from my parents (out of state), because I thought it would be too hard on her to take her out of her stable enviroment. I don't go to my parents that often, every 3-6 months maybe, and every single time I go home my kitty remembers me and lays with me and wants attention. She's a skittish cat and runs away from most people so I'm for sure she knows it's me. In fact my dad was talking to me with his speakerphone the other day and she started "talking" to the phone :) .

Every one around me seems to think that they are a burden. I can't go on vacation whenever I want and I sometimes have to go without so they don't.

:mad: What do they do with their dogs when they go on vacation? I have 2 dogs and 3 cats, and needless to say I can't go on vacation whenever I want or just suddenly go out of town like I used to be able to, but that's my choice. Honestly the dogs keep me from going on vacation more than anything 'cause I have to either find somewhere to kennel them or take them with - throwing them in the back yard or something is NOT an option and would be irresponsible.

November 6th, 2006, 04:58 PM

I think you are being very responsible in taking your lifetime commitment to these cats so seriously. The cats will be fine in a room for 2 months. In the course of their lifetime, 2 months is a short period. Especially if you compare to the time it might take them to get adopted, then adapt to their new home. Adult cats, unfortunately, are a dime a dozen in rescue. Just ignore those people that are calling you a bad pet owner. They are very misguided.

Hugs to you and I hope you get back on your feet soon :)

November 6th, 2006, 05:09 PM
When we first came to the UK we had 2 cats - back then, they had to be put in quarantine for 6 months (I know, draconian laws, but that's another story)

They were in an outdoor run that was 10 feet by 5 feet with a hutch that had a heating light and all their cosy bedding - The staff visited them at feeding times and played with them once a day - I visited 3 times a week or more, and was only allowed to spend about 1 hour each day with them.

Guess what? They survived and they were totally fine at the end of it, as if nothing had happened...!

Your kitties will do just fine in their room - they are warm, together and they have you - give them lots of (safe) toys and bedding, if you can get them a climbing frame so they can look out the windows and you'll see how well they do.


November 6th, 2006, 05:18 PM
I have been in a simular situation, where due to uncontrolable circumstances i have had to move and people tried to convince me to get rid of my cat, and NO WAY. I did have to have my brother hold on to him for a couple of months and he went through alot of seperation anxiety during and after that.

My cat and I have been through the worst and best together, we've lived in a giant 3 story house and a tiny bachalorette pad that was less than 400sq feet, and him and i did just fine, and i can honestly tell you he did not care where in the world he was so long as he was at home with his momma. (I should know we've moved 5 times in the last two years, and he doesnt care where he is as long as i come home at the end of the day to cuddle up with him, he now contently lives in an 750 sq. foot apartment with another kitty and a dog (2 up until a week ago) and he still runs to the door everyday when i get home to get his pets, and give me some kisses.

November 6th, 2006, 06:57 PM
You are doing the right thing. Hold Firm!!!! You've had enough trauma in your life without giving away the unconditional love from your animals. The cats will be fine for a short time, just give them lots of love and toys. My cats are very bonded to us and would not "forget in just a few weeks".

November 6th, 2006, 07:32 PM
I also agree with keeping them. They will do fine in the spare bedroom for a few months until you get your own place. In fact, I think they are better off staying with the person they know, love and trust than going through the trauma of being re-homed with strangers. Good luck. :fingerscr

November 6th, 2006, 07:36 PM
My cat and I rented A room for about a year. (I was allowed in the rest of the house and Jo was in the begining, untill she scratched my roommates son). We made out just fine. Just make sure that they have some toys, scratching post, etc to keep them occupied, and spend time with them every day. They will be fine.:thumbs up

November 6th, 2006, 08:25 PM
Well right now they are having free run of a room, if they go to the SPCA they would be living in crates instead surrounded by strange cats and people and it could be months before any of them found a home. So to me they are better off where they are right now

kashtin's kin
November 6th, 2006, 09:28 PM
I soooo agree with what the majority of super-nice :D BB people have said: good for you for your commitment to your cats...and a few months in a room with daily care by you should not harm them. If you get a lot of flak from your family or whatever, just show them this thread!

Sometimes critter people do end up in situations where despite their best efforts etc. they do have to surrender their furbabies, i.e. senior citizens, or those faced with a profound and unexpected change in life (accident, illness).

Although challenging, your problem sounds 'doable'; you've got a light at the end of the tunnel, and you sound determined and capable. If this BB helps reassure you that you're doing WELL under the circumstances, then it's doing what it did for me!

It's great to have people who really understand just a computer hook-up away, all ready to pitch in with encouragement and suggestions. Your cats are very lucky to have such a great :thumbs up human in their lives; I'll bet that things improve for all of you, and you will continue to be an important part of each others lives.

In the meantime, take strength :grouphug: from the critter folks who are out here caring a LOT, and are all set to do what they can when you need a little back-up. Just take it one step at a time, and keep in touch.:fingerscr

November 7th, 2006, 01:21 PM
Those were the things that I needed to hear. It has been a rough couple of weeks and the thought of giving them away just breaks my heart. I knew coming here I would get the right opinions and the encouragment that I needed to make it through. This is one place that people do not take their pets for granted. You all appreciate them and treat them as family whether big or small young or old. Those 4 little creatures provide me with laughter and love no matter what the circumstances.

Deep down I always knew what the right thing to do was. I know they are better off with me and most of all I do know that they are happy little cats. I hit a road block and a lot of people were doubting my abilities and in turn I think I started to doubt my own abilities. I should have known that just because I'm 23 doesn't mean I can't do it. I have reached the age where I now know your parents aren't always right!! You guys gave me the reassurance that I needed.
THANK YOU for making me feel a million times better!!!

November 7th, 2006, 01:39 PM
Yey! :highfive: I'm glad you're reassured. :) I agree with everybody. Better in a room than who knows where (maybe even outside! :eek: ) with a different owner and probably all separated too.

November 7th, 2006, 03:39 PM
Jenjen,I am glad we managed to make a difference:thumbs up
You are only 23yrs old and I am sure after this hurdle,you and the kitties will have a wonderful life together:love: