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Think my dad will get mad if I...

HunterXHunter
September 26th, 2006, 10:39 AM
...adopt a dog while he's out of the country?

My dad is leaving to go back to China for a month in early November, and I was thinking of using this opportunity to adopt another dog (I'd help give a home and Hunter gets a playmate when everyone is away at work/school :thumbs up ).

If I asked my dad, he would say "No" for sure. It's not that my dad doesn't like dogs -- he loves Hunter (even though he doesn't admit it), but my dad prefers not to have so many four-legged fur babies around the house (for fear that it will be twice the trouble if they do get into trouble, and twice the amount of things will be chewed up, and twice the...well, you get the idea :frustrated:).

Given that my birthday is in November, I can use it as leverage/excuse for when my dad comes home surprised :evil:.

However, there are other potential problems: I've applied to a few jobs that would require me to relocate (within Canada -- mostly to B.C. or within Ontario) so what would I do if I do get hired? Leaving them behind with my dad would be irresponsible of me, and considering my dad has a bad back, I don't really want him to have the extra work/stress of having to handle and walk 2 dogs 2-3 times a day. I've also considered bringing them with me if I do get relocated, but I'm a little fearful of having them flying to another province due to the airlines & pets' horror stories of pets getting lost/neglected.

*sigh* I'm not too sure what I should do...what would you do if you were in my shoes ? :confused:

Prin
September 26th, 2006, 10:42 AM
If I was a responsible adult, I'd say don't get another dog till your settled.

But I have two and I'm not settled. But I also know that whatever I do and wherever I go, I will be sure that my doggies can come. They are a significant part of any decision I make.:shrug:

dakar
September 26th, 2006, 10:52 AM
You know your dad best and how he'd react. My concern is that he'd resent the pup because you were sneaky. Not that your dad would be mean to the dog but that it might cause contention in your home and you don't want that. How long have you had Hunter? Long enough to learn how to do puppy dog eyes? That's how my daughter talked her dad into getting a kitten. (I just realized I don't know if you're male or female but my son uses the same tecnique and it works the same) If you can't get Dad to agree and you may be relocating soon, I'd wait till I was settled, if I were you. Just MHO but I don't think it's a great idea to make a new pet a surprise to anyone in the family - unless as parents, you're suprising the kids and know you will be doing all the work!

mona_b
September 26th, 2006, 11:04 AM
I would have to say don't do it...And this coming from a parent...;)

Wait till you are settled on your own.

My daughter has been bugging me for a Beagle/Maltese...My answer to her is when you move out,then you can get whatever you want.Heck she is barely home.So what,I have to take care of it?I think not.I have my boy to take care of.Not saying she doesn't help with Tron.

jiorji
September 26th, 2006, 11:11 AM
well first off.....if you're an adult you wouldn't have to ask for permission. That being said...it's not your house, and since your dad has already allowed a dog, to make you happy, i don't think it'll happen again. I've had my mom go to the store with me and return pets because i didn't ask for permission and i used my birthday as an excuse. So birthdays don't do anything for a parents' compassion to keep small rodents lol sorry i'm rambling

maybe you should wait til you move out, then you won't have to ask for permission. Bit silly don't you think?:cool:

Prin
September 26th, 2006, 11:12 AM
oh, it would be so horrible to find a dog you love and then have to take it back.:(

Just move into a dog-friendly apartment with Jiorji. Then you can both have as many dogs as you want.:D

jawert1
September 26th, 2006, 11:13 AM
Absolutely not, an animal is not a good surprise for anyone, especially given this isn't really your house and your situation is up in the air in a big way. Like Prin, I have 2 dogs as well, and while we manage just fine, I know that no matter what, I'm responsible for their well being and where I go, they go too - no if's, and's or but's. If your Dad has a bad back, how fair is that on the dogs if he's laid up and can't walk them properly if you're gone? Unless he actually expresses a fervent desire to have a dog and then asks you for assistance in choosing one, then no, don't spring that on him.

BTW, I'm going through this same thing with my brother and my folks right now. My bro seems to think that my parents need a new dog since we lost Max in February, my parents say no, that they're content to dog sit for all of us, and I'm in agreement with them. Until *they* come to one of us or both and say "we're ready, help us decide" I would never EVER dream of doing that to an animal.

jiorji
September 26th, 2006, 11:59 AM
Just move into a dog-friendly apartment with Jiorji. Then you can both have as many dogs as you want.:D

ummm...listen...i don't know what you're implying there...:o

Frenchy
September 26th, 2006, 12:36 PM
Unfortuantly,I say don't. UNLESS you are 100% you would bring both dogs with you when you leave your dad's house.Then again,it is kind of hard to find a place (unless you buy) that will allow you to rent with 2 dogs.:(

HunterXHunter
September 26th, 2006, 01:01 PM
Ok, thanks for all the replies. You've all helped me made up my mind. I was leaning towards a "No" also.

However, I just want to point out that I take care of Hunter most the of time and if I do get a 2nd dog, it would be mostly my responsiblity as is with Hunter. To be honest, the biggest fear I have is that if I have to relocate via flying, what am I gonna do about the dogs? I would definitely want to bring them with me, but all those stories about how pets get mistreated on planes and at airports (and the one where this dog got loose on the runway and then killed/run over by a plane a few days later) scares the crap out of me because I don't want to risk losing them.

I guess I just figured that with my dad gone for a month, I could use this time to train the other dog so that when my dad comes home he'll see 2 obedient dogs so he wouldn't get mad at me for as long.

As for moving out, I probably won't move out for another few years (assuming I'm still in Toronto) Reason being my mom passed away from cancer a few years ago and I'm the only child so I don't want to leave my dad behind if I don't have to.

jiorji
September 26th, 2006, 01:06 PM
why not foster a dog for a month?? that way it'll be temporary and when he gets back home it won't be such a crisis.

HunterXHunter
September 26th, 2006, 01:10 PM
why not foster a dog for a month?? that way it'll be temporary and when he gets back home it won't be such a crisis.

DING DING DING!! WE HAVE A WINNER!! (I didn't know you could foster for such a short period of time)

Hmm...so I guess now I should contact the Toronto Humane Society? or local rescues?

jawert1
September 26th, 2006, 01:34 PM
While fostering is a noble endeavour, it's not one to be undertaken lightly. What if the dog you decide to foster can't be rehomed in a month? What happens if your dad returns home and freaks out? What do you do if Hunter gets attached and the 2nd dog winds up finding a forever home with someone else? Or worse, they don't get on at all? There are a LOT of angles to consider with regard to fostering, I believe you may want to PM BoxerRescueMTL or Inverness or BMDLuver for some in's and out's before you settle on that as your "magic bullet". Seriously, I know you have concerns about travelling to another province, and it's really great that you're concerned about your dad's well being by himself, but this is not something to be taken lightly at all.

Puppyluv
September 26th, 2006, 01:38 PM
Fostering is an idea, but I have found, at least with some rescues, it is harder to be approved as a foster, than it is to adopt. If you are honest with them (whoch I would hope you would be), they may not approve you for several reasons, including the short time-limit, the fact that your dad would not know/may not approve, etc. I would just wait until the time is actually right.

HunterXHunter
September 26th, 2006, 01:39 PM
What if the dog you decide to foster can't be rehomed in a month?

Oh...I didn't know that. I must've misunderstood jiorji's post then as I thought it meant I could choose the length of period that I foster them for. But thanks for the heads up, I'll look into further before making any decisions. :)

jiorji
September 26th, 2006, 01:50 PM
well at the montreal spca they have short period fosters available. I think the time varies, but i think it would depent on the dog's needs.I always get their emails and some dogs only need fosters for a few weeks.
WHy not call anyways? At least you'll know what the situation is and maybe if you talk to your dad about it, he'll be ok with another dog that won't stay for a long time.
I'm not sure though when you plan on moving...if it's anytime soon, then best to sit this one out or you'll create madness for the rescue people and yourself.

Prin
September 26th, 2006, 05:49 PM
IMO, you might be better to just focus on Hunter. Fostering is hard and takes time. I'm sure if your dad doesn't want another dog, he won't want another chewing, separation anxiety-stricken, kennel coughing foster... Not saying they're all like that, but worst case scenario.:shrug:

It's an even bigger responsibility, IMO than owning a dog, because you're responsible for keeping somebody else's dog alive and well...;)

Lissa
September 26th, 2006, 06:10 PM
*sigh* I'm not too sure what I should do...what would you do if you were in my shoes ? :confused:

UMMMM:o Well that's pretty much what I did to get Dodger - I was very sneaky:o but it was necessary to save his life...It breaks me heart that I couldn't get save his siblings too, his brother is dead and his sister is either tied in a yard or dead:sad:

You really need to know the person you try this with:evil:.... But since you might be getting a job away from home, I don't think its an option right now!

Angies Man
September 26th, 2006, 06:26 PM
I don't think anyone has mentioned the right way to do this.

If you want to get another dog, even just foster a rescue, I think you OWE it to your housemate (your dad!!!!) to discuss it with him. It's the honest, adult thing to do, and it makes you responsible for making the case for another dog (so that you have to THINK about why you want, need, and should get another dog.)

If you unilaterally get another dog (even a temp. foster) you would be demonstrating, imho, a distinct lack of basic respect for your housemate--if I had a roommate who came home with a pet without discussing it with me, I'd probably evict him or her.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but you should approach this as an honest adult, and not sneak around like a thief.

rainbow
September 26th, 2006, 07:59 PM
I agree with Angies Man.

OntarioGreys
September 26th, 2006, 10:09 PM
Fostering is not always easy and throwing 2 dogs together does not always go smoothly especially while they are getting to know each other and learn to share space together especially during the first couple of weeks, they have to be well supevised as there is likely to be grumblings and occasionally fights can occur, a rescue will typically cover any vet costs for the foster dog in the event of a fight but the injuries to your own dogs become your responsibility. Your own may be happy to be around other dogs at the dog park but bringing one home is a different matter, and he could go thru a period of withdrawal or may become very submissive around the other dog and will go off to another room to retreat(which will appear as though he has depression) as he tries to sort out his place now within the pack, it can also occur after the foster dog leaves. Fostering can involve get the dog to its vet appointments for vaccination, health check even spaying and neutering and you would be responsible for post op care, you may also have to take to adoption events, you may have to housetrain, teach manners, crate train etc. You also have to go into it with the right mind set, that this is not your pet that you are preparing it for a life with someone else, much like dog sitting, otherwise it can be a very painful experience if you get yourself too emotionally involved

Lissa
September 26th, 2006, 10:30 PM
Sorry if this seems harsh, but you should approach this as an honest adult, and not sneak around like a thief.

I agree with you to a certain extent and I would never have done this someone I didn't know inside out!.

The distinct difference IMO is that I knew once Dodger was home they would realize the impact they could have on his life. Presenting a well-thought out, honest plan for saving a life didn't work with my family because they automatically said "no more pets" (we had put our previous dog to sleep 6 months earlier). It was sneaky but I knew that a white lie would save Dodger and it was worth it to me and my family (who know the truth). I would do it all over again and I know my family feels the same way - they always say it opened their eyes to how uncompromising they were - exactly the kind of family they didn't want to be. I shouldn't encourage anybody else to do the same but its not something that I or my family regret.

I'm sorry it seems wrong to you but it couldn't have been more right for my family and I (their words, not mine).:love:

Prin
September 26th, 2006, 10:42 PM
I agree Lissa. My dad is like your parents, and he also won't cover your hiney if you screw up.

But then I think neither of us even remotely have the idea of leaving our dogs behind if life turns us somewhere else... Right?

Lissa
September 26th, 2006, 11:31 PM
I agree Lissa. My dad is like your parents, and he also won't cover your hiney if you screw up.

Very true - showing them that I was committed to raising a puppy as a first year University student with a job without screwing up in school was probably why they were understanding. Lying to them wasn't easy (or nice) but because I backed it up by giving up a social life, unnecessary spending on myself and keeping my grades up - they knew how much Dodger meant to me when I told them the truth. It doesn't make sense since I had to lie to people I loved but Dodger's rescue has made us respect and appreciate each other more.

But then I think neither of us even remotely have the idea of leaving our dogs behind if life turns us somewhere else... Right?

Of course not!:) Even if my plan had backfired which wasn't even in the realm of possibilities, but if it had, at the very least, we would have kept Dodger until we found him a forever home. But truthfully, I was already too attached for that so I have no doubt that I'd have lived in the scariest part of town if need be (as I am sure you would!). Your quote says it all - a dog is forever!:love:

Prin
September 27th, 2006, 12:55 AM
Exactly. If you get a dog without thinking he/she will be attached to your hip for the next 15-20 years, you're not really planning to share your life with this dog and you shouldn't get a dog, IMO (unless you get a senior dog- but even then, you have to expect the unexpected).

I had to re-convince Jemma's owner a year after we adopted her that she was better off here with us. She wanted Jemma back, but she was all over the place- travelling for months at a time and moving around. That's no life for a dog. I asked her where she was going to be in 10 years and she said, "You're right. I don't know." Even if I don't know where I'm going to be in 10 years, I know Jemma will be there with me. The woman who gave her up couldn't even imagine her future with Jemma in it.:(

jiorji
September 27th, 2006, 01:53 AM
that's the thing...you never know. Even if you have it planned things always change. The question to ask yourselves is "will i make the effort to take them with me where i go?"

I have 2 cats and i will probably get more pets, and i have no idea where i'll go after i graduate, maybe move abroad for a while, maybe live in a different country every year. WHo knows? But i know exactly how I'm going to transport my kitties wherever I go. i'd gladly leave a few boxes with things behind if they're in the way of my kitties, but they're coming with :D So far, France has no quaratine :thumbs up if they change then no more moving there.

so I guess if you're willing to take the chance with a new pet Hunter(after your dad approves), no matter where you go with your job you have to be ready to take them with you. ANd if you find no pet friendly available places, will you reject your job offers?
If you're unsure what you want to do, then I can bet you'll be unsure of how to find ways to accomodate your lie to teh pets. Remember you're more flexible than they are, so YOU have to compromise.

LavenderRott
September 27th, 2006, 07:18 AM
I love dogs and I am here to tell you that if my 19 year old daughter got a pet while I was out of town we would have some SERIOUS issues!

I have flown dogs and cats literally all over the world and never, ever had any problems. The horror stories you hear, while awful, are few and far between.

HunterXHunter
September 27th, 2006, 08:46 AM
no matter where you go with your job you have to be ready to take them with you. ANd if you find no pet friendly available places, will you reject your job offers?

Nope. Because if I can't find any apartments that allow it, I'd just rent a small house because they will have higher chances of allowing pets. As I mentioned before, I DO want to take them with me, I'm just afraid of losing them to some freak accident at the airport. And if there are really absolutely no landlords that will accept pets, then I will work for a little while and if I like the work env., city, etc. then I'll buy a house and settle down there :)


I have flown dogs and cats literally all over the world and never, ever had any problems. The horror stories you hear, while awful, are few and far between.

That's very comforting to know. I guess all those threads and newspaper articles freaked me out a bit.

Joey.E.CockersMommy
September 27th, 2006, 09:01 AM
I havent read this whole thread but I would have to agree - getting a dog before your dad has a chance to know may not be the best idea. Not fair for dad or doggie.

When I was still living at home around age 14 or so. I volunteered to babysit my friends cat until she found a home for it. I didnt tell my parents boy was that a bad idea - my dad was so mad - and wouldnt let me set foot in the house with the cat. I had to call them to come pick up the cat right away. So me and kitty sat on the driveway waiting for my friend to come with her dad to pick up the cat again.

Dont know if your dad would react so harshly but that is just from personal experience. :D

Prin
September 27th, 2006, 12:10 PM
that's the thing...you never know. Even if you have it planned things always change. The question to ask yourselves is "will i make the effort to take them with me where i go?"But some things I do know. Choices are just that- choices. You can choose to go to France and fly your kitties for 9 hours in the cargo part of the plane, or you can choose to drive somewhere in North America instead. (Just an example)

And if there are really absolutely no landlords that will accept pets, then I will work for a little while and if I like the work env., city, etc. then I'll buy a house and settle down there This might be a bit off topic, but where do people get the idea that owning a house is an easy thing to accomplish? I know so many people who aren't even in a steady job who say things like "in three years, we'll have a house". Not only are houses getting unaffordable, without a steady employer or at the very least 5 years within the same career, they won't even look at you. It's not an easy thing. And then when you finally do get a house that you can barely afford, you're in endless repairs and forking out every spare penny for them, hoping your "investment" doesn't collapse. I just don't understand where this idea that getting a house is a walk in the park comes from.

And from what I know from trying to find another apartment, people who rent out houses are even less tolerant of animals than apartment landlords.:shrug:

jiorji
September 27th, 2006, 01:02 PM
I have something to add to what prin said about choices but i don't want to go :offtopic: so i'm going to post in the off topic thread hehe

Hunter I'm glad you're willing to accomodate yourself to rent a house if nothing else is available. About the airports, many people travel with pets. Everywhere i go i see pets on vacation with their owners, so if things were that bad I doubt you'd have so many people traveling with their dogs. Personally I'd be more worried about airport personnel. hehe I wouldn't travel with a pet in a third world country for many reasons, but their airports don't seem to be too organized, they could lose luggage or pet cages. hhehe