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Grandpa Mean to Dogs

jessymoka
September 6th, 2006, 05:44 PM
I am venting... :frustrated:
My grandfather who recently turned 80 years old is notorius for teasing.
Kids, adults, pets, the air... anything.
He is a teaser. When my Grandma was living it made her CRAZY, and she was always yelling at him.
It is so bad that he actually by teasing my 5 year old cousin caused a huge fight that made he and my grandma not talk to their own daughter over 10 years!!!!
NO matter what you say after 80 years of professionally teasing he doesn't care who he hurts, upsets, scares for life, etc. He thinks it's funny.
Not to mention that he only hears half of what you say because he is EXTREMELY hard of hearing and refuses to wear a hearing aid.

My daughter who will be 5 at the end of the month refuses to go by him.
My son who just turned 9 has gotten a complex.
My mother has a warped self image.
And recently had to get rid of her two year old daschund because of all the teasing (should mention my grandpa is notorius for crazy poodles and maltese's as I grew up)
My mother cares for him, as he is in ill health and refuses to care for himself (including eating) a nursing home is not an option, it's just not.
But Clancy....her dacshie began bitting as a defense.
He's bit my daughter, who did nothing.
And he has bitten my grandpa several times... he actually out a hole in his skin the size of a quarter.
Anyhow...

I have a 5 month old papillon. She's my baby. She is our family dog (me, husband, two kids) but I am her Mama. I am the one she follows from room to room etc. I am enchanted by this dog (except when she has a potty accident, not so enchanted then, LOL)

At my son's birthday party on Labor day apparently Abby jumped on the couch and he leaned back squishing her (he knew she was there) and put her in a head lock. :eek:
I was not there to witness this, but my dad saw it and made him stop.

THIS MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:frustrated:
At least he is only at my house twice a year and for short times. I hate to crate her while everyone is over she is part of the family and this was a great socializing opportunity for her! And he goes and tries to ruin it.
I needed to vent.
Thanks for the ears!!!

Prin
September 6th, 2006, 05:49 PM
Hey are we related? (almost- but my mean old grandfather died a few years ago) I think it's time to limit both the kids' and the dogs' time with their grandfather. :shrug: With kids, at least you can explain that grandpa's old and doesn't realize how mean he is (so at least they'll feel a little normal about being so hurt). Crappy situation, eh? Good luck. :grouphug:

rainbow
September 6th, 2006, 06:02 PM
Maybe the kids could go in another room or outside and play with the dog so they could stay away from Grandpa.

LM1313
September 6th, 2006, 07:02 PM
Honestly . . . if someone did that to one of my pets, they would get thrown out of my house. What a jerk! Please don't let him near your children or pets, for their sake. Especially the kids . . . kids can really brood and feel hurt by mean remarks for ages. Not that it's a picnic for the animals either. :(

Maya
September 6th, 2006, 10:46 PM
That really sucks, I ended up having to stop subjecting myself to someone with similar behavior because I got so upset each time I had to deal with it. It's really sad after all his years he never learned to respect people or animals. I guess it's to late for him to learn? It sounds pretty abusive, I wouldn't tolerate it in my space even if it was a relative. Good luck.:pawprint:

Shaykeija
September 6th, 2006, 11:26 PM
They only thing that comes to mind for me is...he is old and cannot live forever. Just keep him away from your dog, at that age they are missing a few marbles and could wind up teasing your dog to death.

Angies Man
September 6th, 2006, 11:51 PM
That really sucks, I ended up having to stop subjecting myself to someone with similar behavior because I got so upset each time I had to deal with it. It's really sad after all his years he never learned to respect people or animals. I guess it's to late for him to learn? It sounds pretty abusive, I wouldn't tolerate it in my space even if it was a relative. Good luck.:pawprint:

Sounds like he's just a mean old man (grown up from a mean young man.) Seems to me that if he's mean to your kids and your pets, you have no choice but to just not invite him/allow him to come to family events at your house. He isn't going to change--he's just a mean old ba&tard.

normag
September 7th, 2006, 01:38 PM
I totally agree dont let him near your kids or animals, and tell the miserable old bu--er why.

Writing4Fun
September 7th, 2006, 01:47 PM
But, I think he lives with her mom, who has to be with him all the time because he can't/won't care for himself, right? So avoiding him would mean avoiding her mother, which I don't think she'd be amenable to. It's a very sad situation. :sad: I agree with the others who said that you should limit the exposure to your kids and the dog. Don't bring them for a visit (leave them with their dad for the day). And if he's at your place, maybe Dad could take them out for ice cream or a movie, and puppy could spend some quiet time in your bedroom with a coveted toy or a Kongsicle. Best of luck! I know what it's like to have a not-so-nice Grandpa to deal with. :grouphug:

jessymoka
September 7th, 2006, 02:25 PM
All good suggestions.... but WAY more complicated than that.

Yes, he live with my mother because exactly that... he won't care for himself.
My mother as absolutely crazy as he makes her would NEVER in a million years put him in a home. She is a registered nurse.

The thickening plot however is... my mother cares for my kids while I work.
Most of the day he stays in his bedroom. Comes out pretty much only to smoke (not allowed in the house) and to get beer and pee 10,000 times a day.
And he will slip in an occasional teasing.
My daughter (soon to be 5) Just doesn't want to have anything to do with him.
She won't even kiss him. And for obvious reasons I do not force the issue.
My mom shelters them from him a lot. Ignore Papa, stay away from Papa, your a good girl don'y listen to Papa.
In church the kids pray for Papa. At bed time too.
Like I said he come to my house MAYBE two times a year IF he feels up to it.
and that is for like a 3 hour birthday party.
I don't know so much if it is that he is a mean old man.
I think he is more like an oblivious old man looking for laughs at other peoples expense not realizing how damaging he is... I mean COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS.
Oh well.
Thanks for the ears

Writing4Fun
September 7th, 2006, 02:43 PM
The thickening plot however is... my mother cares for my kids while I work.
Wow! That is a thick plot you have there. :( Well, I can't offer anything more, other than an ear when you need to vent. :grouphug:

LM1313
September 7th, 2006, 04:34 PM
Have you tried confronting him about it? Telling him flat out that he's hurting people's feelings? Or just yelling at him? Maybe he needs to see that you're genuinely angry about this and aren't just fooling around.

It does sound like a complicated situation, I'm sorry you have to put up with it! :(

Prin
September 7th, 2006, 04:39 PM
I would tell the kids about it though. I would explain to them clearly that it's not their fault and they have done nothing to deserve to be treated like that and that it's not normal for people to be so mean. There are a lot of things we think are just "understood" but they might not be. :shrug:

ChancesMom
September 8th, 2006, 02:27 AM
I would not invite him into my home.

If this causes a problem with not having the Mom over for the holidays, then as my gift to my Mom I would pay for a home health aid to care for the father for the day... That way the Mom has the day off and can visit the family and the grandpa does not get to torture the family.

If the grandpa doesn't like it, too bad.

The behavior is out of control and everyone should not have to have a miserable day to please one person... it does not make sense.... Also, tollerating his cruelty is not doing him any favors.

rainbow
September 8th, 2006, 12:13 PM
I agree with what LM1313 and Prin said. Good luck. :fingerscr