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Pet Rules

angie79
September 3rd, 2006, 06:51 AM
I got this email from my mother in law it is so funny and so true....

I laughed sooooo hard.

PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.


Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other

dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in

the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming
your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It

is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to
the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out

and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years


--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2 . Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

chico2
September 3rd, 2006, 07:19 AM
Thank's Angie for the miserable-cold-rainy-day LAUGH,needed that:thumbs up

rainbow
September 3rd, 2006, 11:31 AM
I've seen it before but I laughed all over again. Thanks for sharing. :D

OntarioGreys
September 3rd, 2006, 12:58 PM
:p It seems every rule right now is broken by one animal or another.


I like the front door message, may need to borrow for myself :D

normag
September 3rd, 2006, 01:18 PM
I had a good laugh, hope you dont mind but I would like to print that out and hang it in a prominent place for all visitors to read.

technodoll
September 3rd, 2006, 03:43 PM
LMAO!! and The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack., well dakotah learned THAT last week... gonna cost us a broken tooth repair on tuesday :frustrated: guess he had forgotten that rule eh? :cool:

angeldogs
September 3rd, 2006, 11:47 PM
Soooooo funny.Had tears in the eyes.

angie79
September 4th, 2006, 03:39 PM
I'm happy everyone enjoyed this as much as I did!!!

SchnauzerGirl
September 6th, 2006, 04:30 PM
That was GREAT, thanks for the great laugh! I'm going to send this one round to all my pet friends.