Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

My neighbor hates her dog...

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 06:40 PM
Kind of a "what would you do if you were her" thread...

He's a pretty gross looking, really, really old 13 year old doggy. Some 13 year olds aren't that old, but he's ollllld. He's just kinda icky. Like you don't want to touch him because you don't know what he's got. :o

Anyway, he wanders away all the time and always ends up on my lawn. So Jemma and I take him home (he's deaf, so he doesn't listen, just follows sexy Jemma wherever she goes).

Today, she told me she's sick of having him around. :( She says he was a beautiful dog when he was younger, but always sort of dumb and they never bonded. Now, he's old, doesn't hear, doesn't really love anybody or get excited for anything, just sleeps all the time. He's just THERE.

She said if it was up to her, she would have put him down last year, but hubby loves him too much to let go, especially since the vet says his heart is great, blood is great and everything else too, except for arthritis everywhere.

I can't imagine being in that situation. You know, where you just kind of don't know your dog anymore because he's just not really there? And he's independent of you and doesn't ask for anything, but is just kind of hanging around.

You can't put him down because he's mostly healthy, but at the same time, you can't tell at all if he's happy or not.

I just hope my doggies stay with me mentally as they get older..:(

LavenderRott
August 28th, 2006, 06:49 PM
You know, shortly before I lost my Chase to cancer, one of my neighbors told me how she couldn't wait until her dog died!!

I was stunned. I would have sold my soul to the devil for more time with my girl!

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 06:52 PM
Yeah, but imagine if it got to the point where you just got no love, nothing at all in return from your dog?

LavenderRott
August 28th, 2006, 07:01 PM
Right after Chase died, my son rescued this cocker spaniel mix that was just dumb as a brick.

We found him a lovely home with some neighbor girls who had never had a dog before and just required something that would walk on a leash.

Sorry, but I can't have a dog that I hate in my house. It would drive me crazy. I would have to rehome it or put it down if it was old.

God, Prin! Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place!!

mummummum
August 28th, 2006, 07:01 PM
But from your description Prin ~ it sounds like this is her hubby's dawg and she really hasn't ever had deep feelings for the dawg. I know at the end of Tai's days, she was mostly deaf and blind, slept most of the time and had to be carried everywhere but I loved every second of every minute I had with her and still miss her terribly 10 years later. Maybe others wouldn't have known she was still happy but I knew because I loved her.

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 07:27 PM
Yeah, it is the hubby's dog, but he's never home... I've met this doggy on several occasions and honestly, he's just not too loveable right now, even if she had bonded with the dog more before he got old...

I don't think she tells her man how she feels though because he's so attached.

I've never had a senior dog I didn't love to death, so I don't really see it happening to me, but at the same time, the way this dog is so vacant and in his own little world, I don't know if it really could happen to any dog.

Writing4Fun
August 28th, 2006, 07:38 PM
Wow, sounds like my mom's cousin (you don't live in Longueuil, do you? :confused: ). They had a dog a long time ago that was the wife's dog. They both loved her very much. After she passed away, the children (all grown and moved out) decided they needed another dog. So they got them - I think it was a Lhasa Apso. :shrug: Anyhow, the wife hated this dog because it was too soon to replace 'her' dog. The husband loved him, though. Gotta say, he wasn't a nice dog. They kept him cropped really short because the husband couldn't be bothered to groom him. The dog was aloof, unhealthy, never really excited to see anyone, a little grumpy towards the kids and other dogs. Well, whenever you'd ask the wife how old the dog was, her answer was always "Old enough to die!" :rolleyes: A very sad situation to be living in for the woman and the dog. Really, though, at 13, her best bet is to tough it out 'till the end and hope he doesn't live 'till 20. :(

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 07:49 PM
Well, I think despite everything, my neighbor is giving her old guy a better home than that poor doggy. :(

I dunno. I look at Jemma sleeping on the floor beside me, running in her sleep and I can't imagine stopping loving her.:(
(Boo either, but he's not right beside me :p)

technodoll
August 28th, 2006, 08:29 PM
what a hard situation to be in. i too would have a hard time having such a dog in my house, just taking up space but not really contributing anything to the household atmosphere :( but i couldn't be responsible for killing him either, you know? ick ick ick. i hope mother nature is kind to everyone and just takes him while he's in his sleep. ps: how come he always ends up in your yard, don't the neighbors keep him on a lead, in the backyard, in the house? he could get run over by a car or something... or is that what she wants! :eek:

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 08:36 PM
Nah, no cars on our street really. And he stays on the grass. Everybody on the street has dogs and we collect them all at some point. We're the doggy-bringer-homers. :D Boo has escaped too and actually ended up IN the neighbor's house while the neighbors were in their yard (i.e. he was in the house alone).:shrug: :o

jessi76
August 28th, 2006, 09:05 PM
IMO, if you feel you aren't getting anything in return from a pet, you simply aren't looking hard enough. at the very least this neighbor has something to whine about. maybe the dog is in his own world, and maybe he likes it. maybe it's all gumdrops and lollipops. the bottom line is this dog is a long standing member of a family and should be treated as such.
what would I do? I wouldn't let it get to that point, but, to play along, I'd clean the old guy up, keep him in the yard so other's didn't have to bring him home, and let him take up space when he wanted to. the dog is 13 yrs old, let him just be.

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 09:11 PM
I wouldn't let it get to that point
You mean, you would have euthanized him by now? Or you mean you wouldn't stop loving him?

BoxerRescueMTL
August 28th, 2006, 10:17 PM
This thread is really disturbing to me. I find it pretty obvious from your description Prin that this dog isn't getting anything from his human, so of course he is aloof. Besides the fact that he's ancient and not totally "with it".. His description sounds a lot like most of the senior dogs that we adopt. It takes them awhile to come around, but once they get some love, attention, A BATH...they start to give back -little by little. Millie still isn't 100% - being deaf and almost blind, but every time she leans into an ear rub, or half wags her tail (she only wags once or twice and it's easy to miss) it is a small victory. It sounds like this woman decided a long time ago not to let this poor guy into her heart. And although the situation is annoying for her, I find it tragic for him :(

susieqt
August 28th, 2006, 10:19 PM
I could never stop loving my dog just because he his old and icky. Come on, everyone, lets face it; one day (if we are lucky enough to reach that point), we, too, will be old and yucky!

Prin
August 28th, 2006, 10:33 PM
BoxerRescue, you're right. That's exactly how he is. :( Aw, your post makes me so sad for him.:sad:

I always thought that if my dog ever got old and icky, I would know and understand how he/she got that way and not see it as 'icky'. It's not like running into an icky dog on the street, you know?

Shaykeija
August 28th, 2006, 11:05 PM
Lord ...Please when I get old and Icky may I have someone to care and love me until the end. When I am in a world of my own, may my care giver have the patience to understand and cope. May my days be filled with kindness and the memory of who I was once. When my time comes let it be pain free and with dignity.
Amen

:sad:

pamha
August 29th, 2006, 12:06 AM
This really hits home because our big girl is at this point (although I wouldn`t ever call her icky, she still has a beautiful coat). She is blind, somewhat deaf, arthritic, and just not all there at times. We`ve been prepared to have her cross the bridge any time in the last few years, but decided as long as she has any quality of life & no major medical crisis she has a home with us. I feel it would be a poor way to repay her for being the best dog for us all these years, to have her PTS just because its convient for us.
I wish so much her prime years would`ve lasted longer and I know I (& my family) will miss her horribly when she`s gone.
I really hope we don`t make her wait too long, but we daily spend time with her & evaluate how she`s doing.

Maya
August 29th, 2006, 12:20 AM
BoxerRescueMTL I think summed up the situation really well.

I've only had cats but it seems like whenever I meet someone with an "icky" cat or dog, they're not caring for it or giving it love. They usually have some excuse why the fir is a mess or complain that it smells and that something they tried didn't work, so there's no point bothering. However, I find it difficult to understand someone could not grow at least a little bit attached to a dog or cat after having them be part of their life for so long, even if the animal was a bit slow or "vacant". It's sad for her as well that she doesn't have the ability to appreciate this dog's life. It's just to bad the dog has to suffer for it. If her husband is never home and she doesn't want to even touch the the dog, it's not surprising he's not very with it. :sad:

Mom_Of_Two_Dogs
August 29th, 2006, 03:03 AM
That is just really sad. Poor dog :( I'd hate to know what that neighbour would do to their parents when they come down with the problems associated with old age.

A pet is for life, an owner should never stop loving them.

jiorji
August 29th, 2006, 07:41 AM
that's sad. Have you thought that maybe he's so distanced because he gets no love in return?
I mean why show affection if nobody's there to return it?

Like you mentioned before, a dog doesn't know how to hug unless you show it, so maybe he sees no good in showing affection as the wife won't return it.:(

Angies Man
August 29th, 2006, 11:40 AM
Some years ago, I adopted a rescued smooth coat Collie. She had been in a home with two other dogs but little human interaction. I got her from a boarding kennel. Lacey was an okay dog, willing to learn and a decent dog. But I had trees in my yard that I felt closer to--she wasn't good or bad, or even aloof. She just had no personality and we didn't bond.

After about about 9 months, the writing was on the wall, I know it was selfish, but she wasn't meeting my needs for a canine companionship. She was joyless. So I took her to the animal shelter--I gave her the best chances for readoption--she was pretty good with her basic obedience training--good on the leash, healing, sit, stay, down, and would come fairly well off lead. I had her teeth cleaned, she was spayed, and her coat was clean and in good shape. In addition the surrender fee, I paid the fee for her next adoption.

She got a home on a local dairy farm, not as a house dog but as a barn dog. (I met her new family.) I don't know if she was happy was particularly happy, I'm not sure she could feel joy or happiness. I know I was happy to be rid of her and it was nice to feel only minimal guilt.

I don't know what the answer for the neighbor lady is. I hope that the sitution doesn't have to go on for years and years. I've known dogs like the one described. They just exist rather joylessly, but don't really live. They don't play, wag their tails, crave or provide affection. Having a dog shouldn't be a joyless chore, imo. :(

we3beagles
August 29th, 2006, 01:18 PM
Lets just hope this lady doesn't devlope alzheimers or lou gherigs disease where her husband doesn't "feel the love anymore". Some of us don't age gracefully or look so good when we're old either, but we still hope someone loves us. Just because a dog is ugly and doesn't respond like you think he should is no reason to euthanize him.

Angies Man
August 29th, 2006, 02:30 PM
That is just really sad. Poor dog :( I'd hate to know what that neighbour would do to their parents when they come down with the problems associated with old age.

A pet is for life, an owner should never stop loving them.

I think you're comparing apples with oranges. But also most people can't provide care for advanced alzheimers, ALS, MS, etc. parents or spouses. They place them in extended care or hospices for full time care.

Unfortunately, we don't have extended care facilities for aging, senile, alzheimerish dogs and cats. Maybe there's a career opportunity there. I feel sorry for the poor neighbor lady. It's not HER dog--she's never thought of the dog as hers, and it never bonded to her. For her the dog is no joy, it's just a stinky, stupid albatross that has no possibility of placement in a new home and only conflict and guilt if she makes her feelings known to her husband. :sad:

technodoll
August 29th, 2006, 02:39 PM
Remember Sam? the ugliest dog on earth? boy did he ever get lucky... but then again by what his owner says about him, he did have quite an endearing personality :o

http://www.samugliestdog.com/

:pawprint:

Prin
August 29th, 2006, 03:41 PM
On the upside, this whole situation has made me realize that I won't have a senior like that and it doesn't just "happen". I'm glad because that scared me a little. I've had my doggies grow to be seniors and they never detached from us, so the idea of it being possible just worried me.

I never really bonded with my old yellow lab. She was in love with my bro and my dad and never wanted anything to do with me. She respected me, but didn't love me. That didn't stop me from giving her all I had though. She still got plenty of hugs whether she liked it or not. :p

As for the dog being icky, most of it is from an allergic episode he had. He lost a lot of fur in places and it hasn't grown back and the skin underneath has hardened. I'm sure if he was on a better food at the very least, he'd look better.

Writing4Fun
August 29th, 2006, 07:09 PM
It doesn't sound like this woman stopped loving the dog because he got old. It sounds like she never loved him in the first place. :( Sad for the dog, but sad for the woman, too. Imagine being forced to live with an ex-boyfriend you abhor just because he's your husband's best buddy. Personally, I think the hubby should step up and give this dog the life he deserves. It's his dog, after all.

jessi76
August 29th, 2006, 07:57 PM
You mean, you would have euthanized him by now? Or you mean you wouldn't stop loving him?

I meant the latter, and in fact, I think senior dogs need (and deserve) a little extra TLC. :)

Prin
August 29th, 2006, 08:55 PM
Oh, ok, that's what I thought.. I just wasn't sure. :)