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Redneck Summer

August 25th, 2006, 08:08 PM
You know you're in the South in summer when...

A seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

Asphalt has a liquid state.

Farmers feed their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

In July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The cows give evaporated milk.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

The trees whistle for the dogs.

You burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You can get sunburned through your car window.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”