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Has anybody ever uprooted?

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 02:39 PM
I know some people here have and I just want to know how hard it was and if you thought it was worth it...

We bought a house last year (that I love) and my man has a pretty decent job here... But there's a master's program in PEI that looks like a lot of fun... I'd have to live there a minimum of 2 years, and commuting the 12 hours often enough to see my man here just isn't logical. But neither of us wants to lose this house and subleting.. well, renters aren't careful and this old crickety house is fragile...

Needless to say, the deciding is very difficult.

How do you uproot for an opportunity when you've got pretty good, healthy, happy roots already in the ground?

Rick C
August 23rd, 2006, 02:59 PM
I know some people here have and I just want to know how hard it was and if you thought it was worth it...

We bought a house last year (that I love) and my man has a pretty decent job here... But there's a master's program in PEI that looks like a lot of fun... I'd have to live there a minimum of 2 years, and commuting the 12 hours often enough to see my man here just isn't logical. But neither of us wants to lose this house and subleting.. well, renters aren't careful and this old crickety house is fragile...

Needless to say, the deciding is very difficult.

How do you uproot for an opportunity when you've got pretty good, healthy, happy roots already in the ground?

I won't judge whether the opportunity is worth your while.

However . . . .

Since I've been married, we've had two pretty significant uprootings. . . . . moving out of familiar surroundings.

It's probably more significant for the person tagging along versus the person initiating it. In my case, the wife was the tag-along. In observing Mrs. C, it became the little things, like being familiar with a hairdresser and looking for someone new whom you trust with your appearance (for awhile after one move, even I was driving about 50 miles round trip to get a haircut.), being familiar with the people working cashier at the grocery store, having a familiar laugh with your long-time florist, the familiarity of the places you normally haunt, the taste of the coffee, etc, etc . . . .

In the end, you'll find a place is just a place. People are the difference.

. . . . you move, time passes and new friends are made.

Look at the long term picture.

But I would ask whether your significant other will have the same opportunity in this new place or will he come to resent you for the move. The tag-along is the person with the biggest adjustment.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Rick C
www.goldentales.ca

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 03:07 PM
Thanks Rick.

I don't know if the opportunity is worthwhile. I do know that staying in montreal, the master's programs are slim pickings in biology and McGill expects $13 000 a semester from their students on top of the tuition, which UPEI does not, which despite Qc's reputation for cheap schools, makes UPEI less than a 10th of the cost of McGill. Plus the MSc (biology) program I'm interested in is within the vet college, working with animals in a lot of the programs, and it's the closest I can come to getting into the college.;)

That aside, my man is French. And while for a "pure laine" quebecois, his English is pretty good, to work in the rest of Canada... not so sure. He has been to PEI with me before and loved it and is willing to go, but since I'm the one towing him along, it's very hard to assume all the responsibility that comes with that. His job is anywhere but I don't know if his English will hinder him elsewhere.

I have moved around before, to Ireland and to BC, but I never had somebody tagging along, nor was I settled anywhere.

Sometimes I wish I had met him after I was done bumbling...

jiorji
August 23rd, 2006, 03:39 PM
oh Prin don't say that. You can't pick when you meet your love. :o

But i understand what you mean that you don't want to make him move then ruin his stable life...right??

While i can't give you any advice on moving since i moved alone without anyone tagging along, I think that before you move he should try applying for a job there to see if it would be hard to have someone call him for interviews. I don't know what he does but he does seem like a really friendly guy so I'm sure he'd have no problem getting hired anywhere with that kind of attitude.

Plus who knows, maybe you'll find an even nicer house in PEI.

and i don't think that he'll ever resent you if things go bad. Relationships are about compromise and whether good or bad you want to be with your honey bunny so we often agree to compromise on situations to be with someone we love. If things don't work out in PEI, it's only 2 years, you can always come back and it'll be a learning experience, and at least you know that you didn't let the chance pass you by if it feels like a good decision.

just do a bit of research first and see how things would go if you did move, with money and the dogs, and school.

chico2
August 23rd, 2006, 03:52 PM
Prin,I was the tag-along when my husband got a good job in Toronto,but we moved across the globe,from Sweden.
Leaving friends and family behind,is not easy,I resented my husband for a loong time for dragging me and the kids to Canada,cried every night for a month or so,was sooo homesick:sad:
But,new country,in your case new province,will have new friends,new opportunities,just make sure this is something you both can agree on.
As for being French,my husband is from France,with the cutest accent,never had any problems at work.
You and your b/f are a couple and any big moves have to be discussed between the two of you.

cpietra16
August 23rd, 2006, 03:57 PM
Prin,For all its worth,I met my husband when I was "bumbling" as you put it. We bumbled together for 15 years and we both took turns in the tag a long role. Our last move was here, where my french is ok and he's from Alberta ( need I say more??:rolleyes: ). He found a great job,way better than mine, so you never know. If its going to happen , it's going to happen.I have been married now for 15 years and because of all the obstacles we went thru, we bacame a great team. BUT that's my experience.

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 03:58 PM
For the price we paid for this little tiny fragile house on its tiny, tiny lot, we could have this (http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fPage%3d3%26Mode%3d0%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d %26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%26mp%3d90000-100000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d0-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26p tgid%3d1%26aid%3d6241%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d6 241&Mode=0&PropertyID=4531867) newer funky angular house with nearly an acre of property...:eek: (it's actually cheaper than we paid :o)

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 04:01 PM
Thanks Chico and Cpietra. I think it would be far easier leaving him behind. :evil: lol Too bad we're not rich enough to have two houses. Then it would be easier... I don't think I could get in for September (even though for some weird reason, they have no deadlines written anywhere), but either January or next Sept maybe. I still have to find a prof to supervise me and two profs at my old university to give me letters of recommendation... Long way to go before I have to really buckle down and decide things...:fingerscr

chico2
August 23rd, 2006, 04:36 PM
WoW,I think we'll move to PEI and buy that house:D

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 04:40 PM
lol hey! :D

rainbow
August 23rd, 2006, 05:16 PM
That is a cute little house but it has oil heat and let me tell you it's not cheap to heat with oil nowadays. I wish we could afford to put in natural gas. :p

Anyways, with a hubby in construction we've moved around quite a bit all over B.C. and once to Alberta. There is always a bit of an adjustment but I've enjoyed a little bit of each and every place we've lived. You make new friends, you see new places, you do new things and we've always come out ahead real estate wise. There's always a cute little house where ever you go. ;)

We keep in touch with friends and there's always a bed for us and the same if they come through here. I think it just adds to life's experiences, especially when you're young. I was born in Toronto and grew up in Vancouver but I much prefer living in a small town as people are way more friendly and helpful. :)

So, this is something you and your man have to think have to think about. Get out a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons. And, as long as your man is willing to go, and not just to please you, he should get a job there first so then you can claim your moving expenses, real estate commission, etc. on your income tax. :D

Stacer
August 23rd, 2006, 05:26 PM
If it were me, I'd go for it. Let him decide if he wants to join you, I'll be that he will. We often discuss leaving Toronto for BC and I think that one day we will, but lucky for us we're in the same line of work and can easily find work out there. If you really want it, and you've got a great SO who will support your decision, I'd do it for sure. Think about how much Jemma and Boo would love the ocean!

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 05:32 PM
lol they've already been and did love it. :) Their collars rusted out though and I had to buy them new ones...

I'm so indecisive for even little things, so I don't know how I'm gonna decide this...

rainbow
August 23rd, 2006, 06:20 PM
Procrastination doesn't get you anywhere !!! :D

poodletalk
August 23rd, 2006, 07:03 PM
Did you check out the Master's program at Universty of Montreal? That is where my friend did her Master's for Micro Biology I don't think it's as expensive as Mcgills program.

Frenchy
August 23rd, 2006, 07:23 PM
For the price we paid for this little tiny fragile house on its tiny, tiny lot, we could have this (http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fPage%3d3%26Mode%3d0%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d %26cp%3d%26pt%3d1%26mp%3d90000-100000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d0-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26p tgid%3d1%26aid%3d6241%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d6 241&Mode=0&PropertyID=4531867) newer funky angular house with nearly an acre of property...:eek: (it's actually cheaper than we paid :o)
mls.ca,my favorite website! I can't give you any advice since it's your (and bf) decision.BUT,I did move to Vancouver for a boyfriend who find work there.I was there for 3 months,I cried every night for 3 months.I missed my family and friends too much,we were so broke because I couldn't find a job.After 3 months,I had a job waiting for me in Montreal,told the bf I was coming back with or without him,he followed me....I guess you have to try,you both might like it? I always make a list ; positive sides versus the negative ones.Hey,if you move,we will have to go out for a drink before you leave right?

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 08:25 PM
Did you check out the Master's program at Universty of Montreal? That is where my friend did her Master's for Micro Biology I don't think it's as expensive as Mcgills program.I did and Université de Laval, too. But to do 2 years of research in French would be very difficult being that I know all the main words in English...:o :shrug: Ok, did I mention I'm a wuss?

Frenchy, that helps. Because you're like my man. Before I met him, he never left Quebec. His family and friends are all here in Laval, really close by. He calls them all the time. Me on the other hand, I've left my family a few times already and I live pretty far from them all anyway.:D

Frenchy
August 23rd, 2006, 08:47 PM
OMG I just looked at mls for houses in PEI. The're are plenty of affortable houses with waterfront view AND a fireplace.And beautiful houses too,so original.I just realize I may have sounded like I hated Vancouver.If anything,that's was the plus side!It's so beautiful there.I used to go to Kitsalano beach all the time.Lucky guys,no snow!

Prin
August 23rd, 2006, 09:13 PM
Yeah, even if you liked it, you still gave me a good idea of how my man would react to it though.

rainbow
August 23rd, 2006, 09:17 PM
B.C. is beautiful, but if you want to live in Vancouver or Kelowna, very unaffordable. The rest of the province has lots of great places, but if anyone is interested, come now before the prices get worst as it's starting to boom. :crazy:

gomez
August 24th, 2006, 06:50 AM
Prin, I have uprooted several times in my life - first from Mexico to the US with my family, then from US to UK with my husband, and few little uproots in the middle, just from state to state...

I cannot recommend it enough!

It's very refreshing to make a new start, every time we have done it, it has been for the better. You get a new point of view in life, new friends, new places...

Your family and friends will still be your family and friends, you just have to make a bit of extra effort, which means it's even more special when you do see them, talk to them etc...

As for the house and stuff, at the end of the day, it's just stuff, material stuff that can be replaced with the same or better at some point.

I can totally see your doggies running along the coast!

I say go for it!!

Writing4Fun
August 24th, 2006, 08:19 AM
LOL! Oh yeah. We uprooted.

Hubby and I had the cutest little house in Chateauguay. We loved that house (still do, s'matter of fact). Both of us had worked for our respective companies for close to 10 years.

The I got a promotion. It was in Toronto. We discuss it and decide to go for it. Not an easy decision - we're both Anglos, but our entire family is in Montreal and we're very tight with our families. But we'll give it a shot.

Picture this: new job ... in a new city ... in a new Province ... buying a new house (the only one we can afford is an hour commute from my new job) when only one of us has a job (hubby hadn't had time to find anything yet) ... no friends or family around for about 600km ... and I just find out I'm pregnant with our first. How's that for a little change in lifestyle? :eek: :yell: Yeah, I did my fair share of crying for the first couple of months.

But we don't regret it one bit. We bought another house and fixed it up so that it's exactly the way we like it. Jobs - hubby found a great one and I was downsized from the job that brought us out here in the first place. How's that for irony? Family - my sister followed me out here after 6 months, and the rest of the family visit a couple of times a year. Like Gomez said, the distance just makes the visits extra special. Friends - the old friends stay in touch, and we now have a bunch of great, new friends who we never would have met if we hadn't have moved out here.

I think a little shake-up every once in a while is great for a person's soul. Besides, it's not like you'll be signing your life to this place. If it's not working, after you've finished school, you move back. No biggie. ;)

(sorry for the looong post :o )

SarahLynn123
August 24th, 2006, 10:33 AM
I was a military brat so moving every 2-4 years was the norm. You think I would have settled in one place after the constant uprooting as a child, quite the opposite actually!

Every 4 years Im ready to move on and start new somewhere else. Next year looks like medicine hat for 3-4 years (until Im done school) then we were talking about Arizona or Texas.

Lucky for me though, my man was also an army brat and he's ready to pick up and go at anytime.

I think I just get bored, it's the same thing everyday, the same bars, restaurants, events, house,etc. Im usually ready for a change at about 4 years.

joeysmama
August 24th, 2006, 11:21 AM
I think that if your situation allows for it a major move it can be a great idea. It's an adventure. We wish we had moved to a different area years ago. As time went on we got a little more "locked in" by jobs, kids etc. So now we live in an area we love because our friends are here, our church is here, we're used to seeing familiar faces everywhere we go, as Rick was saying. If my car broke down I wouldn't worry about how to get home. There are enough friends in the area I could call and they would get me home, and we'd probably have lunch on the way. That's what I love about where I live.

But we DON'T love the town we live in. It's overpriced and congested. We'd love to move to a more scenic area where we could get more for our money. And it's not un-doable. You like it great ! You don't like it--well all the moving would be a hassle but it would be a life lesson and you'd still take something positive away from the experience. Anyway, that's what I think I would tell my kids if they were facing this decision so that's the best I've got ! :)

That's my .02

Prin
August 24th, 2006, 11:39 AM
Thanks everybody... You're all so adventurous... :o I'm still in the admissions processes, nothing sure yet..:shrug:

Puppyluv
August 24th, 2006, 11:43 AM
Holy crap the houses out there are cheap!!! My parents just got a new place in Calgary, and for the price they payed, they could have gotten 4000-6000 sqft, with an acreage!!! Anyways.. I say go for it! I own a condo and a car, and am finally rooted, but am pretty sure I'm going to pick up and leave (possibly the country) to go to medical school. Yeah it sucks leaving things behind, but think of the possibilities Prin! Even if down the road, you decide that it wasn't the best choice, there will still be parts about it that you will be glad you did. You won't be stuck with the "what ifs".

rainbow
August 24th, 2006, 11:51 AM
Prin, you're procrastinating again. :D Everyone needs a change in their life every so often or you end up in a rut. And, besides, wherever you go you'll still have all of us. :p

jjgeonerd
August 24th, 2006, 01:44 PM
I've done it 3 times:

1. From parents house in Las Vegas to college in Reno. Moved by myself without knowing anyone. Stayed for 8 years.

2. From job in Reno to grad school in Berkeley. Moved by myself without knowing anyone. Stayed 3 years.

3. From Berkeley/San Francisco to current location in Seattle. Moved with my wife...and my boss from SF also moved up. Going on 4 years here.

It easy...just sell the house, pack up and move. I think it is fun going to new places and seeing how things are done differently.

Joey.E.CockersMommy
August 24th, 2006, 03:52 PM
We uprooted from Vancouver to Vernon. Mostly because Vancouver was to costly and we could actually afford to buy a house here. This was almost nine years ago. It hasnt been easy though - hubbys job that he got turned out not to be what he expected and still didnt have a job so we had very little money and a mortgage to pay and a kid to feed. Jobs were hard to find when we first moved here. We had lawn chairs for our family room furniture for the first two years. :D

One thing I miss though is my close friends from back home. I do have friends here - but only a few - although I am slowly starting to know more people. I am a few close friends kind of girl anyways. Often we will make friends and they will move away - which is hard. For the most part I do like it here and it does feel like home - but I will always go back and visit my original home in Vancouver.

jiorji
August 24th, 2006, 05:01 PM
just do it. I know you want to :evil:

come on man! PEI is Anne of Green Gables! Imagine how many of those hats you can collect!(i hear they sell them as souvenirs there) And you can get a nice country house with an rochard and white fence and have Boo swim like crazy in the OCEAN! I say you get a bigger life vest :o

rainbow
August 24th, 2006, 06:18 PM
Do it ! ... Do it ! ... Do it ! :D

Prin
August 24th, 2006, 06:24 PM
I don't respond to peer pressure.

Thanks for everybody's anecdotes.:) I'll let you know.:D

Joey.E.CockersMommy
August 24th, 2006, 06:30 PM
come on everyone else does it
:thumbs up :D

Prin
August 24th, 2006, 06:31 PM
Everybody watches star wars and drinks on weekends, and I don't do either of those things... either.:D

rainbow
August 25th, 2006, 12:59 AM
Okay, I've been thinking, you said your man is preferablly French speaking. What about the other maritime provinces? Doesn't New Brunswick or Nova Scotia have a large french speaking polpulation? Do they have a university that is appropriate for you?

Prin
August 25th, 2006, 01:02 AM
The thing about UPEI is they have the vet school there, so a lot of the research involves animals. Like there's one study on strokes that involves sea turtles. Why don't sea turtles have strokes when they're under water for so long without breathing? Things like that that they have access to because they're right on the ocean and because they have the facilities for the marine animals because of the vet college. There are only 4 vet schools in Canada, and that's the closest to getting into one that I can get.:o :(

rainbow
August 25th, 2006, 01:08 AM
Well then, you have to move to P.E.I. and your man can take an E.S.L. course. ;)

Prin
August 25th, 2006, 01:24 AM
Yeah... I think I'll just have to leave him here. He can work here and I'll school there and we'll see each other on holidays and long weekends.:sad:

Skryker
August 25th, 2006, 01:25 AM
Personally, I'm an advocate of uprooting and moving. You can keep in touch with friends and family easy enough. It's something that I think everyone should do at least once in their adult life-even if it doesn't work out as planned.

As for keeping your house and renting it out, you've got family close enough by to keep an eye on things, right? Then you've got the option of moving back. But to add to your list of things to consider, you've done lots of renos and the housing prices have probably increased. Sooooo, you might be further ahead to sell and buy another house. Something else to think on, right?

PEI is so gorgeous. I have family there, and I wanted to move in with them after my last visit. Lovely beaches within a 20 min drive, incredibly friendly people everywhere, beautiful scenery...oh, and my great-uncle was our tour guide, and showed us where he swims every day that it's warm enough-there are seals there all the time and he is often kept company by a few while he swims. How cool is that? And by the East Point Lighthouse there are the best white sand beaches I've ever seen-better than Florida.

As for the BF, not so far away in NB there is a large Acadian population. That might help him feel a little less uprooted. If you take the Confederation Bridge, the whole area around the NB side is Acadian.

Just trying to give you some more info. Hope it helps!

rainbow
August 25th, 2006, 11:20 PM
The thing about UPEI is they have the vet school there, so a lot of the research involves animals.

Are you wanting to be a vet? :confused:



Yeah... I think I'll just have to leave him here. He can work here and I'll school there and we'll see each other on holidays and long weekends.

No, I didn't mean that. You guys are too young to be apart. It's bad enough when you have to be apart when you're older like me. :D He can get a job there and take an ESL course there (if he really needs to).


What about moving to Ontario or Saskatchewan?

Prin
August 25th, 2006, 11:38 PM
I want to be a vet, but I can't get into vet school.

Ontario has 2 spots for quebecers, and you need to be a permanent resident of western Canada to apply to USask. There's one near here (French one), but I never get in there either. Last time I missed it by .11 of a GPA point. :( For UPEI, you have to live in the atlantic provinces for a year without studying to apply. And even then, who knows if I'll get in. :shrug:

So this is an alternative. Plan B.

You can't always get what you want.:o

rainbow
August 26th, 2006, 12:09 AM
Wow...I never thought it would be THAT hard. :eek:


Ontario has 2 spots for quebecers

Is there a mile long waiting list?


you need to be a permanent resident of western Canada to apply to USask.

Does that mean born and raised?


There's one near here (French one), but I never get in there either. Last time I missed it by .11 of a GPA point.

Well .11 doesn't sound like much. Can't you keep trying?


For UPEI, you have to live in the atlantic provinces for a year without studying to apply. And even then, who knows if I'll get in.

A year without studying before you can apply. What's the reasoning behind that?


You can't always get what you want.

Did Mick Jagger tell you that? :D You would make a terrific vet, and if you try hard enough, you'll make it. ;)

Prin
August 26th, 2006, 12:36 AM
Wow...I never thought it would be THAT hard. :eek:

Yep. They say it's harder to get into then med school. I dunno about that but there are far less spots open anyway.

Is there a mile long waiting list?
Yep. The best of the best get in (not me). I know for the one in Qc there are 800 applicants and 80 get in.

Does that mean born and raised?
Not sure. Probably just no ties in other provinces. Like no Qc medicare card, Sask driver's licence, etc etc. I don't think just having a hydro bill over there is enough.

Well .11 doesn't sound like much. Can't you keep trying?
That's what I do. :)

A year without studying before you can apply. What's the reasoning behind that?
Because spots are so limited, they want to give people of the area more seats and more of a chance to get in. Problem is, there's no school with minimum quotas for English Quebecers... The French school here has minimums for French Qcers and international students from France, but no English factor. So you just have to be the best to get in, and my marks are never the best. I'm great, just not the best.

Did Mick Jagger tell you that? :D You would make a terrific vet, and if you try hard enough, you'll make it. ;)
Life told me that, over and over and over, but at least Mick made it fun. :D I tried hard. Now, I just have to wait till the rest of the students dumb down.:D But I'm getting older (30's a-comin' quick) and I can't stay in limbo, or bumbling as I call it, for much longer before I get hopeless (also a-comin' quick).:(

rainbow
August 26th, 2006, 12:39 PM
Hmmm....well all I can say is good luck. :fingerscr :fingerscr

Have you ever thought of working for a pet food company as a nutritionist? You'd certainly make a damn good one. :thumbs up

Prin
August 26th, 2006, 01:27 PM
lol but then I'd be biased and wouldn't be able to help anybody.:sad:

rainbow
August 26th, 2006, 01:33 PM
Oh, I don't know about that....you've certainly helped alot of people here. :thumbs up

You could start with working for Royal Canin so all the vets would finally have a good food to sell. :D

Prin
August 26th, 2006, 01:36 PM
lol either that or they'll brainwash me. I'm picturing something like in Zoolander, with the shocks and the colorful movie.:D