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Thought this was cute ( its just a joke so no need for snarky remarks)

erykah1310
August 8th, 2006, 05:21 PM
I DON'T KNOW THE DOCTOR WHO WROTE THIS, BUT I LIKE HIM!

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q:
I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A:
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A:
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient Mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a
pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.

Q:
Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:
No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.
Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity
bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q:
How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:
Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you
have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:
What are some of the advantages of participating
in a regular exercise program?

A:
Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q:
Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A:
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!
... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A:
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only
be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:
Is chocolate bad for me?

A:
Are you crazy?
HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food
around!

Q:
Is swimming good for your figure?

A:
If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:
Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A:
Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO, What a Ride"
Climb every mountain, Ford every stream.
Follow every rainbow 'til you find your dream,
A dream that will need all the love you can give,
Every day of your life for as long as you live.

technodoll
August 8th, 2006, 05:36 PM
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO, What a Ride"


THat is my new favorite quote! whooohoooo!! :thumbs up

rainbow
August 8th, 2006, 06:32 PM
Hey, that's my kind of doctor. :crazy:

Skryker
August 8th, 2006, 06:35 PM
I'm with you, technodoll! Now, THAT'S a lifestyle!

CyberKitten
August 8th, 2006, 07:51 PM
Well, this doc really likes her or his veggies, lol