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Purina Diet

August 3rd, 2006, 09:59 PM
I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete (sic). So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my jewells and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.

August 3rd, 2006, 10:02 PM
:D And nobody offered you help in choosing a better food?

August 4th, 2006, 08:26 AM
OMGosh you made me howl with laughter, not oxygen depleted or anything, lol, thanks, I needed that.:D

jesse's mommy
August 4th, 2006, 06:00 PM
My honey told me this last night when we went out to dinner. He changed the food to Ol'Roy so he was standing in line at Walmart. Well I had such a long hard day and I was sooooooo tired and as he is telling me this I'm thinking in my head "after everything I've tried to tell him he completely disregards anything I say about dog food and goes out and buys Ol'Roy". I'm getting more mad as he is telling me this and after he was done I chuckled for a quick moment, then got serious and said "did you really buy Ol'Roy?" His mouth about dropped and said "Honey, it was a joke and no I didn't buy it". :o