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July 25th, 2006, 07:51 PM
I have a question for your all. When you need job references, how do you choose them? Who do you ask?

I am having a little trouble. I signed up with a job agency, and they can't proceed until I give them three refs. I can't use my current manager (if you have read my previous rants about my current job, you can understand why). I am afraid to go to my manager at my old job, because I was so close to having a nervous breakdown before I left, that I'm worried she hates me now.

My problem is that I don't get close to people that well. I always say I will stay in touch after I leave a job, but I never do. I tried for a bit with one person from my last job, but I called and emailed her twice, with no response (she can be a little catty and tempermental sometimes, so maybe I did/said something and didn't realise it?)

At my last job I tried VERY hard to get everything done before I left, but on my last day I still had at least a weeks worth of work to do (I was trying to answer all my mail on each file before it was reassigned to someone else, but when you easily get 6 inches of mail a day, it adds up). All the files I had left on my last day went to a very busy adjuster (I was a claims adjuster) and she will speak her mind. I fear that she probably badmouthed me to my manager, and she probably thinks bad of me now, thinking I wasn't good at the job.

I don't know....I need to email a list tonight to the agency. My bf is a former co-worker, and they don't need to know he is my bf right? So that's an option. I can ask the controller of my current company, but rumour has it that my company has bugged all the phones with microphones and they randomly listen to our conversations, so it is impossible to ask her during work hours (for risk of being overheard). I will be attending a bbq this weekend that she will be at, as well as another co-worker, and I can ask her then, which may not be soon enough.

Should I just call my former manager, leave her nice voicemessage tonight and hope she calls me tomorrow and says yes? I don't think she would be vindictive or make me look bad but I don't know...

THere is also one other former co-worker who I know would give me an excellent ref, but I haven't talked to her since I left, and I would feel SOOOO bad just calling out of the blue and be like "so, how have you been, good....good, will you give me a reference??"

I am super paranoid (I also have a social anxiety disorder, so I am probably blowing this out of proportion!)

I hate this part of the job search.