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"Best Friends"

LianneCatherine
July 24th, 2006, 04:44 PM
I'm curious to see who out there has a "best" friend? If you do, have you known each other from childhood, school, or otherwise? Or did you meet later in life? I wonder because I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find friends of the same level of loyalty and respect that I am willing to give. (I suppose the same can also be true of partners.)

Are you ever too old for a best friend? At this stage I feel like, if I don't have one now, maybe I never will? My supposed best friend is recently getting married and has all but fallen off the face of the earth. Not only that, but the relationship has been unfortunately mostly one-sided.

I see movies and TV shows where women have these wonderful best friends and nothing ever goes wrong, and they are just so good together, etc. But I guess that's why it's TV and not reality? I suppose my best friend is my boyfriend. He's more honest, caring, giving, and loyal than any friend I've ever had was. Is it possible to find this in a girlfriend? :(

chico2
July 24th, 2006, 04:56 PM
Lianne,my best friend is my husband:love: but I have a friend whom I have known for 30yrs,we worked together and yes,we are very close and loyal to each other,but we are both older.
I believe in todays world,young people are too darn busy with this and that and many maybe a little too selfabsorbed,to truly care deeply about a friend.
I am sure however,you will find the one person you really click with,I think we all need somebody other than our partners,to unload and discuss problems with and of course have fun with.

Dog Mom
July 24th, 2006, 05:03 PM
My best friend and I have known each other since we were 10 and i just turned 26 in may. We talk on the phone pretty much weekly. I was there for the birth of her first child, I was the maid of honor @ her wedding. I don't think anyone is too old for a "best friend" I think that friends sometimes just grow apart after the years. I think that your partner could be your best friend if the connection is there.

rainbow
July 24th, 2006, 05:31 PM
I see movies and TV shows where women have these wonderful best friends and nothing ever goes wrong, and they are just so good together, etc. But I guess that's why it's TV and not reality?

I agree. :D


My husband's my best friend as well. We move around a fair bit (he's in construction) and I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert so it takes awhile before I meet people. I have a few friends here but only one that I can talk to more than the others but sometimes a week or so will go by and we haven't even talked. :o And, lots of times I prefer just to be with my dogs and cats. :D

Stacer
July 24th, 2006, 05:52 PM
I've known my best friend since kindergarten, we actually became friends when we were about 9 or 10 (gr.5) We have weathered puberty together, moving to different schools, then back together again in highschool, we hung around in different crowds but always remained close. I was her maid of honour and she was mine. It's been nearly 20 years and I don't see us ever not being friends. I would say that most of my close friends I met in highschool, we may not see each other as much due to living in different cities but we always keep in touch and visit every once in a while. I will admit that since moving to Toronto I have found it difficult to make female friends, people are so absorbed in their own lives to give much thought to meeting new people sometimes. Eg: at the gym everyone's wearing their IPODs and not socializing at all. I've joined sports teams and met people but no true friendships have been forged. But I guess I should bee glad that I've got the friends that I do, even though I don't see them as often as I'd like. I can't forget my man, he's definitely my best friend, for sure!

Prin
July 24th, 2006, 05:58 PM
I think in some ways, dogs ruin the whole best friend thing... I mean, we always decide what we're going to do, on our terms and they never complain and when you need them, they're always there, ready to help... Seems like that's too much to ask these days of people...

That said, I have 3 good friends that alternate for me... At different stages in my life, I relate to each one differently. We've all been friends since early high school.

I think that as our lives change, the purpose of friends changes too. Where we used to talk for 6 hours on the phone every day as teens, now we talk for about a half hour a week and do our own things the rest of the time. People just don't make time for other people like they do when they're really young.

doggy lover
July 24th, 2006, 06:00 PM
I have a few close friends, I wouldn't say one is my best. My hubby I met at 14 and I'm now 42 so he knows me best. One friend I have had since grade 7 and we have kept close since we also work togeather for the past 24 years. Another is a friend from work, also know for 24 years. One of my newer friends I have known for 4 years, she is a neighbour up north. The last one I can think of introduced me to my hubby, mind you sometimes I curse him. lol
I thinks friends come and go, some are there for us in the long run they are the true friends, others return for different reasons and some are just lost along the way.

erykah1310
July 24th, 2006, 06:06 PM
My best friend, we met 6 years ago, she thought i was her boyfriend ( at the time) ex girlfriend when we first met. ( Because we met through him)
One day I ran into her on the street and she looked upset so I asked her if she wanted to go skidooing and we did. She told me why she was upset ( they broke up) so we tipped a few back ( HEHE) and basically had the best drunken time EVER laughing and doing silly country gurl stuff ( she had just moved from Kitchener so had no idea what country life was about)
Since then we have spent EVERYDAY together. ( if not able to actually do something together we atleast talk on the phone 3 times a day)
Shes more like the sister i never had ( im an only child and so was she until she was 13)
I feel like i have known her my whole life. And I just know we WILL be best friends forever!!!!!!

technodoll
July 24th, 2006, 06:26 PM
yes, a few best friends from the mid-teens... been through thick and thin but we're like elastics, our lives take us near, then farther again, then near, and it makes no difference in how close we are. i trust them with my life :)

jiorji
July 24th, 2006, 07:44 PM
hehe best friends....

My best friend I think was really annoyed with me in highschool and even though we had the same classes and same friends we only became friends after highscool. And we don't speak to other people from highchool anymore.

Sometimes I feel like quitting our relationship as she's the harderst person to live with and she's becoming more and more difficult , and sometimes I think we;d make the best couple if we were not straight LOL

but we've shared some funny moments that only seem funny to us, and other poeple think we're odd. :)

*tear* I love my best friend..........awww :D

glasslass
July 24th, 2006, 07:47 PM
My best friend was my mother, who I dearly miss. I feel the loss when I have little accomplishments and I want to call and tell her about it. Of course, my hubby is also a "best friend", but only another woman really understands the little things women need to talk about. Over the years, I've made a lot of acquaintences and many friends. However, it is just a few who have become "close" friends, and even fewer I would call "confidants".

mastifflover
July 24th, 2006, 08:03 PM
I guess I am very lucky I have one best friend we have been friends since grade 3 when she moved in across the street that was 42 years ago we speak at least once a week and get together at least once every 2 weeks. We can finish each others sentences, phone each other at the same time. Very wierd sometimes like just now I emailed her hubby and she called me a minute later. She is one of those who is there through good and bad a true friend. I have 3 other close friends one I have know since I was 1 and the other 2 for about 4 years. But I believe you can make best friends at anytime in your life. Buddy is my best friend but that goes without saying

Puppyluv
July 24th, 2006, 08:06 PM
I had two best friends:

I met my first best friend the summer before grade three when I moved to a new neighbourhood. We were stuck to eachother like glue until I left for university. During our first year, we talked all the time, and she came and visited me. Shortly after that our mom's got in a huge fight (long story, but it was basically over me). My mom was furious at her mom for betraying her trust, and basically stopped talking to her. Her mom told my friend that she didn't want her (my friend) talking to me anymore. We tried to stay in contact without her mom knowing, but as she still lives at home, it became very difficult. Over the past two years, the relationship has fizzled away to almost nothing.

I met my second best friend in grade 8 through a sport that we both joined at the same time. Within a week we were connected at the hip, and being partners (in the sport) only strengthened our bond. We would spend 8 hours a day at practice together, and then we would go home only to get on the phone with eachother after. We were inseperable. Other athletes from other teams in other provinces used to call us "The twins" because we pretty much behaved like tv twins do, we even dressed alike. I was the better by far of the two when it came to our sport. Until grade 12. I got extremely sick, with mono, and then midway through it, I got pneumonia. I lost 60 lbs, but despite that, I kept training, and, while I used to be 15-20 seconds faster than her in a km race, I was now about her speed, sometimes beating her, sometimes being beaten by her,but the races were always close. At this point, she decided that she didn't want to race in the same boat as someone who wasn't faster than her, so she left Calgary at the beginning of what was to be a promising summer, for Saskatoon, where a national team member who's partner had rcently quit was looking for a new partner. (This girl was about 25 seconds faster than her/km, and was thus, in her mind a "good partner"). She told me when she left that it was because she hated our coach, and I was mad at our coach at first. It wasn't until a month later that I found out she had lied because she was scared about how I would react. She litterall crushed me. We haven't talked since. That was exactly 3 years ago. (I should add my note of karma here: When she moved to Saskatoon, she found out that japanese national team member had just moved there for school, and would be the canadian team member's partner, and my "friend" was reduced to racing with a girl who was about the same speed as herself (and me too). I however raced that summer with a member of the canadian olympic team, and came home with three national championships medals, while she came away with none. Not to be petty, but I truly saw the karma going on there)

Buddy's Heart
July 24th, 2006, 08:17 PM
We have 2 best friends;

One that we have known for over 35 years. We can telephone each other, and it is just like we were having coffee the other day. We haven't seen each other for about 10 years. But I wouldn't trade her in for $$$$.

Second best friend is Buddy. He is my constant companion, my SoulMate, my security blanket, and my boy. Life is not always the way we want it, but no matter what....Buddy is there for me. and I am there for him too.

Friends are precious and rare jewels...and both Buddy and I treasure each one of them. And would never hurt them on purpose. Best friends COME to You, looking for them, doesn't mean you will find.

AliSam
July 24th, 2006, 08:46 PM
I met my best friend in college (in 1991). We don't get to see each other very often now as she has kids (one of them is my godson) and we live about 50km away from each other. Hubby and I go to each of the kid's birthday parties every year and my friend and I try to get together once or twice a year just to talk. We have been through alot together and we can trust each other completely.

I had another best friend who turns out I couldn't trust. I did all kinds of stuff for her and helped her out when she was at her lowest but I got stabbed in the back. That is a completely different story that I won't get into here since this is a happy thread.

Bushfire2000
July 25th, 2006, 12:17 AM
Three of us are high school "best buds" over the years I've kept in touch with both of them and concider us best friends. I also have some very good friends met through different jobs. One friend has moved to Texas from Saskatchewan but we still keep in touch and are "best friends". I have three friends including the one in Texas that I've met through work and even though I no longer work with most of them I belive that they are the best things to come out of work.

LianneCatherine
July 25th, 2006, 02:18 PM
I met my "best friend" in 11th grade and have been very close ever since. We are 24 now, but things have changed. I did expect them to of course, but I don't think it's for the better. We went to college together, and remained close, but after graduation things started to change. I moved out of my parent's house, bought a condo, got a job, bought a car, and generally joined the world of the working professional.

She, who rarely had a job since I knew her, took longer to graduate, spent a year and a half in Chile loafing around at her boyfriend's mother's house (not working or going to school). She only recently got a "real" job, but still pays no bills, has no credit card, no car, no property, nothing. She lives at her parent's house where her fiance has joined her from Chile. They both live for free, eat for free, drive for free, etc. and know very little about life. I think this is what has made us separate a bit -- she's very, very naiive. She's getting married after only knowing this guy a little over a year, with very little relationship experience, not to mention real-world experience. So I just see her now as being very immature, even though she thinks she knows everything. Like I said in the earlier post, our relationship has been very one-sided. I do favors for her (BIG ones), buy things for her, paid for her for everything when she didn't have a job, etc. and the only time I've ever asked her for anything (a 30 min. ride to the airport), she refused. Not only that, but I had a personal crisis not very long ago and sent her a very heart-felt email about what I was going through. She never even responded. :sad:

It seems that most of you have met your very good friends early in life. I hope I haven't missed the boat; I'd really like to have a good friend one of these days...I just can't seem to find anyone who isn't completely self-absorbed. I suppose I can settle for my bf for the time being!! :rolleyes:

mastifflover
July 25th, 2006, 02:42 PM
I think the friends I have met later in my life came into for a reason and have stayed in it and some have drifted out. But you meet people in the strangest situations and you just click. Don't look so hard it will happen when you least expect it

erykah1310
July 25th, 2006, 06:42 PM
Im sorry y'all but this is my ALL TIME favorite pic of us! I had too, its been kinda a " should I post it or should i not" kind of battle in my head.
But... Here goes, Me and my best friend ( not at our best 5 years ago)

The nose picking is a LONG story!! but to sum it up, apparently Gurls dont pick their noses, so we proved them wrong!!! lol
http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h154/erykah1310/pickin.jpg

CyberKitten
July 25th, 2006, 11:29 PM
I have 3 best friends who I met in school - we are scattered in various places of North America (BC, Arizona and NB) - and we have maintained our close ties all these yrs. One teaches pharmacology and is unmarried. One is a publisher of a newspaper. One is a teacher who is active in her Church - this is amusing if only because the friend from BC thinks nothing of growing marijuana plants. At least two have overcome some incredible issues in their family lives. One is the daughter of a family doc who died of Alzheimer's so that is her area of research. We have helped each other thru many of life's events. We are all different but our friendship has endured over the yrs! I consider myself very fortunate.

I have other close friends of course - one especially close in Hfx - and she is prob closer to me in many ways than my far flung friends.

I think these kind of friendships are sooo important!! I do of course consider my bf a close friend but it is just not the same as it is with my enduring friends.

Rick C
July 26th, 2006, 01:47 PM
From a study by the American Sociological Society, via the Washington Post

Whereas nearly three-quarters of people in 1985 reported they had a friend in whom they could confide, only half in 2004 said they could count on such support. The number of people who said they counted a neighbor as a confidant dropped by more than half, from about 19 percent to about 8 percent.

The results, being published today in the American Sociological Review, took researchers by surprise because they had not expected to see such a steep decline in close social ties.

The article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201763_pf.html

The actual study:

http://www.asanet.org/galleries/default-file/June06ASRFeature.pdf

For myself, a bit of a social leper, Mrs. C is my best friend, now past our 21st anniversary and 23 years together. A classic example from the articles above!!!

Rick C
www.goldentales.ca