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author puts dog food to the (taste) test

July 13th, 2006, 07:10 PM
i just can't read this often enough! :D


I’ve always wondered about dog food. Is a Gaines-burger really like a hamburger? Can you fry it? Does dog food “cheese” taste like real cheese? Does Gravy Train actually make gravy in a dog’s bowl, or is that brown liquid just dissolved crumbs? And what exactly are by-products?

Having spent the better part of a week eating dog food, I’m sorry to say that I now know the answers to these questions. While my dachshund, Shortie, watched in agonies of yearning, I gagged my way through can after can of stinky, white-flecked mush and bag after bag of stinky, fat-drenched nuggets. And now I understand exactly why Shortie’s breath is so bad.

Of course, Gaines-burgers are neither mush nor nuggets. They are, rather, a miracle of beauty and packaging—or at least that’s what I thought when I was little. I used to beg my mother to get them for our dogs, but she always said they were too expensive. When I finally bought a box of cheese-flavored Gaines-burgers—after twenty years of longing—I felt deliciously wicked.

July 13th, 2006, 07:39 PM
good god, I think I'm going to puke.....Just the smell of Wellness F&SP used to make me want to puke. She's right about dog treats though, they don't taste bad per se.

July 13th, 2006, 07:40 PM
wow. She's much more courageous than me!! that's really...well...gross!!
I'm surprised she didn't get sick!

July 13th, 2006, 07:41 PM
She's right about dog treats though, they don't taste bad per se

don't tell me you... naw... you couldn't have! :eek:

July 13th, 2006, 07:42 PM
I'm surprised she didn't get sick!

hmm maybe that comes later! :D

July 13th, 2006, 07:43 PM
by mistake yes... grabbed what i thought was a cracker from my bag.. actually a cookie ( a dog one that is) and took a chomp.:rolleyes:

July 13th, 2006, 07:45 PM
:crazy: . Now, that is dedication to research! No WAY could I ever imagine eating some of that stuff, let alone feeding it to my pets! Then again, I can't stomach canned tuna or salmon. :o

July 13th, 2006, 07:45 PM
eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :yuck:

July 13th, 2006, 07:51 PM
I've seen that article before. I remember the part questioning what a gainsburger is like..

My aunt had a dal (which I'm 99% sure she got scammed by a byb and was a dal x dane)... And decided she was such a good dog mom she tested EVERY type of treat that porky dog ever ate.. From begin strips and purina marrow bones to milk bone biscuits. I was like 10 at the time and thought she was nuts..

July 13th, 2006, 08:21 PM
OMG! This guy HAS to be my bro-in-law! :yuck:

July 13th, 2006, 08:29 PM
One of my friends tries her dog food before feeding it...
And the woman we got Jemma from told me the Wellness peanut butter cookies are really tasty as she took a chomp out of one...

People will try squid, raw fish, frogs' legs and not their dog food?

I would, but WK has oats in it.:D

July 13th, 2006, 08:35 PM
my bro in law comes over, opens my pantry and eats a milkbone.

It's like a novelty act....


July 13th, 2006, 08:35 PM
Next time, make him try some wolf king and let me know what he says.:thumbs up

July 13th, 2006, 08:43 PM
I'd have to find a store that sells it first!!!

July 13th, 2006, 08:49 PM
lol either that, or I have to give you the sample I promised you months ago...:o

July 13th, 2006, 08:52 PM
the sample... for my bro-in law or Max?

He's gonna fight the dog for it!

July 13th, 2006, 09:07 PM
lol I'll give you a double then.:D

July 13th, 2006, 10:39 PM
True confession ...... I took a bite of the Castor and Pollux peanut butter cookie the other day - it had all recognizable ingredients... seriously .... you all have me reading every label and I took a bite- not delicious but not gross ... Coco loves them:o

Peanut Butter
Whole-wheat Four, Rolled Oats, Peanut Butter, Eggs, Whey, Canola Oil, Garlic, Baking Powder, Kelp and Water.

July 13th, 2006, 10:55 PM
Other than the garlic and kelp, sounds good!

Pardon the threadjack, but in one of anthropology courses, we looked at the difference between what is "food" and what is edible. It was really interesting, since "food" is culturally determined. There's plenty of edible things around that aren't "food" and food varies so much culture to culture. The group giving the seminar had a neat aid to prove how much our perceptions affect food-they had some unpopular m&m's. They were maroon and grey, school colours, that the bookstore on campus had ordered but turned out not to sell. As my class found out, grey ones don't taste right. Even though they are exactly the same as the commerical colours in every way but colour, if you can see that they are grey, they taste wrong. With your eyes closed, you can't tell the difference.

A less palatable experiment, though, came from someone with family near the Arctic Circle. She brought in Muk Tuk (sp?), an Inuit delicacy. Muk Tuk is whale blubber, eaten raw. She also cooked some, figuring that people might not eat the raw stuff. With a professor of anthropology looking on, and knowing field work was probably in everyone's future, everyone took a deep breath and sampled. BTW, the raw stuff is WAY better than the cooked. It's extremely fishy tasting, but at least you can chew the raw. Cooked, it looks like those yellow art erasers, the ones that kind of look like amber. And it's about as chewy as one of those erasers, too. :evil: