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Arrrggh Miscommunication!!!

June 15th, 2006, 10:52 AM
I have babysat for a family with three children every tuesday and thursday for the past 9 months. I work 8:30-3:30 on tuesdays and 12:30-5:30 on thursdays. Last week, my "employer" (the mom) told me that she might want to change the hours I work, and she'd let me know. I hadn't heard anything by monday, so I called. She said "No, I think we'll just keep things the same". So I went in on tuesday at 8:30, and everything was fine. When I left, she said "Yeah, so let's just keep things the same, ok? I'll see you thursday."
So this morning (thursday) I got a phonecall at 9 am, with her freaking out, asking where I was, I was 30 minutes late!
Now call me crazy, but when she said "let's keep things the same", I took it to mean, 'the same as previous weeks'. But I guess she took it to mean 'the same as today'. So iexplained my confusion, and told her I could be there in 2 hours ( I had just woken up, and needed to walk layla, eat, shower and get there-she lives 45 min away by metro or bike (my car is getting its oil changed)). She said 'no no I can't wait, I'll call my mom to come in, I'll see you later" and hung up.
So then, two hurs later at 11:15 am, I got another phonecall, asking me where i was, it had been over 2 hours already!
WHAT???? She said she'd have her mom come! she said no she couldn't wait!!
So I again explained my confusion, and told her I could leave right away and be there in 40 min. She said "no, forget it" and hung up.
I've decided not to read into this last sentence, and go anyways: I' just taking the day off I guess.
It's just really annoying. I love the kids, they're great. They need a lot of attention, but they are sweet hearts. But, I get payed $3 less per hour than anyone else in the neighbourhood, and I don't do a half-assed job. I bring in my own paints, markers, crayons, crafts, games, books, dress up clothing, face paints, everything for us to do. This often means carrying a 30 lb bag with me to all day to bring it there. I probably spend 1/2 of what I make there, on stuff for us to do.
Ok sorry, my rant is done.

June 15th, 2006, 11:09 AM
Wow, you sound like a treasure. I'd ask for a raise (at least to parity) AND some kind of signed document indicating your hours and stipulating that any changes (except maybe in a real emergency) must be discussed 24 hours in advance. And maybe a bit of a budget for supplies.
You've got leverage, believe me. And if you're worried about 'taking advantage' of her, that's exactly what she just did to you.

June 15th, 2006, 11:28 AM
Puppyluv I hear ya, I do this on a daily basis right now (till my youngest is in school, 2yrs and counting hee hee hee) it is a thankless job, often people don't realize that you are doing a job, and that your time is worth money. I ask my parents for a time table 2 months in advance, if any changes, at least 24hrs if not more. Now I must say I am really cheap $ compared to what other people charge around here, if a day is missed (at other places) without due notice they(parents) still have to pay for a part day. I think some parents are just rude sometimes, don't let this woman walk all over you, let her cool off and give her a call later tonight

June 16th, 2006, 10:50 AM
So I just got back from my run/swim with Layla (only she swims.. I watch :p), and there was a message waiting for me on my answering machine from..... you guessed it... the mom! She said that she thought about it all night, and has decided that my "behaviour" yesterday is making her seriously question my "commitment and responsibility". She also said that she is "deeply concerned" because Father's day is this sunday, and she was counting on me to do something with the kids to make for their dad. (Which, by the way, I did plan on doing - I bought all the supplies and everything for us to make presents for him, but since she told me not to come in yesterday in the end, they are sitting in my "craft closet" completely unused :mad:. I think she was counting on me because I organized a craft-present for mother's day -- stepping stones for their garden with hand prints of all the children, which they then painted, and put into plain gift boxes which they also painted and decorated, not to mention cards that they painted, and on which her son wrote his name for the very first time )
She then said that if I want to show that I am still interested in babysitting then she needs me to come in today (at 1) or tomorrow, and we can make presents for dad then, because she has no idea what to do for father's day. Umm right... I have another job, and she knows it. Granted, I have today off, but I have a million errands to do today because I only get one day off a week. I have to call her still to tell her I can't, but I need to cool down first..

June 16th, 2006, 10:55 AM
Gotta say the woman has balls.
But you've got one more, right?

June 16th, 2006, 11:53 AM
With what you do for your clients, I bet you'd have no problems finding another position a lot closer, a lot more $, and 2 days off a week! She sounds highly manipulative, unappreciative, and just a real jerk!

June 16th, 2006, 01:44 PM
She sounds like a *beep* *beeping* *beep* I really don't think you owe her anything at this point. And you sound so amazignthat I agree that you could probably find a job closer, and that treats you better, and offers you the going rate.
She doesn't deserve you.

June 16th, 2006, 01:50 PM
damn right she doesn't deserve you! OMG what are people smoking? no, seriously... watch her crawling back to you after trying to find someone else half as good as you are, for what she pays you. At some point you can't let your back get all sore from people like her walking all over you. I know you get along well with the kids but obviously, that does not matter in her opinion. Strike three against "that kind of parent"! :evil:

June 16th, 2006, 02:53 PM
After 'her' phone call I would say thank you very much but.... no thank you, I know it will be hard to let go of the kids but really you can find more (like the saying goes) kids are a dime a dozen or was that kittens/puppies? No really I don't think you need the head ache find something closer, school will be out soon and there will be tons of parents closer looking for some GREAT help.

June 18th, 2006, 07:04 PM
puppyluv, have you decided what to do?... :rolleyes:

June 18th, 2006, 07:26 PM
I'm going in on tuesday as usual, and we are "having a talk". So I'll let you know what happens after it.

June 18th, 2006, 07:31 PM
ok, good luck and i hope it gets better! :)

June 18th, 2006, 07:32 PM
She is the one who sounds very irresponsible not to mention rude and demanding!! How many care givers bring their own materials? I know if you care for children - and I do tho in a different way <g> - you are prone to buying things and having childrens' toys et al around. But she sounds impossible. You sound very good at what you do (tho I know it is pt job) so you should seek better employers!! Are there others who will give you great references if she goes on a tangent? Is she anyone who can make trouble for you? I hope not!!!

Good luck - she should be happy to have you and she needs to know that. Where is the father in all of this????:grouphug:

June 18th, 2006, 07:39 PM
CK- I deffinately have other references, heck, I have the ones I used to get the job for her, as well as two other families in the neighbourhood whom I work for on an as-needed basis.
She can't make trouble for me per se, but she would be a good reference if things work out well, because she knows people in big places in the direction I want to go (ie. she knows the heads of four of the hospitals here, as well as many other execs there).
Where's the dad? Ha ha ha ha ha. This man is extremely kind, but works about 18 hours a day. The kids never see him. He made an "appearance" at his daughter's birthday party for all of 15 minutes. His son carries a photo of him because he used to forget what he looked like.

June 18th, 2006, 08:23 PM
Oh OK, glad you have other references - and it is not always the "heads" of the hospitals who help you get where you want to go, unless they are physicians or have influence with the various medical schools. Hospital CEO usually serve a set term so make sure she can really help you - does she know ppl on the Boards, the Med School admission committees - can she get you the kind of questions that are going to be asked (I've done that for a few friends) if you get an interview? Better yet, what the Med School is looking for - those are not items you will find easily. (I do not mean grades, academic record, volunteer work at hospitals) - there are only so many places and med schools often come up with a variety of criteria depending on who serves on that committee. (It is not the most fun committee!)

I guess I am saying I would not depend on any one person to help you gain entrance to a program. Cultivate resources and people though!! McGill just hired a great new Dean - he's a super person!! I think he will do good things there. (much needed). Are you looking just at Quebec? We set aside so many seats for out of province students - tho we are required to accept Maritimers first. The immediate past Dean at our Med School postulates that the province one is most likely to be accepted at Med School from is New Brunswick. Why? NB has agreements with Dalhousie, Memorial and there is now a unique agreement between Univ de Moncton and Univ de Sherbrooke. (There has been a program in place for many yrs between Mtn and Sherbrooke - 2 yrs at Mtn, 4 at Sherbrooke and then internship and residency). We are also developing a program between Dal and Saint John. Of course, I went to the US so this did not apply to me, lol (and she is the one who constantly reminds all of us that it is costing the taxpayers $40,000 a yr to educate a doctor but maybe I am still young enuf and fiesty enuf that I think about how much it cost me - and Cdn taxpayers had nothing to do with it, lol But she is correct in the sense that it costs money to have so many "seats" in med school tho God knows we need more doctors and more money!!!!!

Anyway - I just think someone who cannot recall times may not recall you when she talks to her friends in hospitals either. (I can be such a cynic, sigh!). The best advice I give young med students is to work hard, study hard, network and meet as many ppl as you can, be a team player and be involved in the life of the faculty of med and the hospitals you clerk in or are involved with. Volunteering is good too as is shadowing a doctor for a summer if you can manage it.

Sorry to have gone offtopic!!! She just does not sound too trustworthy to me.

June 18th, 2006, 08:49 PM
CK- I deffinately wasn't counting on her to be my "way into med school" just figured she couldn't hurt. I know this is like a major threadjack, but since it's my thread, I can do it! I'm really excited about Dr Levin coming here, it means great things for the school, and as a result, the city. As you may know, a good number of the hospitals here are associated with the school (more so, I've found, than in some other cities). The people she knows are practicing dr's, and are in it for the long haul.
That said, I'm not only applying in Quebec, and not only to the "high profile schools".
One thing that concerns me is, her reference may not actually be a good thing. Knowing these dr's is not the same as having sa good relationship with them. They may not respect her oppinions (something I no longer do), and thus her reference may not help at all.

June 18th, 2006, 09:05 PM
Hey Puppyluv...depending on when you can work , I'm looking for someone for my child...if you want another family....and I'm nice...and I have 5 cats and a sweet lab...and I can probably pay you as much or more...:o
PM me if you would like a change:D

June 18th, 2006, 09:19 PM
Thanks cpietra, I'll PM you after tuesday when I know what's going on.