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Dear pet

May 29th, 2006, 01:42 PM
I got this by e-mail yesterday. I think portions of it have already been posted here...
I think I'm going to print it out and post it on my door, and another copy in front of Buster's food bowl, to make sure he reads it :p (yes...I know dogs can't read....)

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your
food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It
is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline
attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are as good as kids or even better because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't use your computer
11. Are willing to watch anything on TV
12. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
13. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

May 29th, 2006, 01:58 PM
Lol that's so funny! I've never seen it before!

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

Gold...pure gold....

Leo has decided that he needs to supervise any bathroom fact most times if you move he chases after you (whether its going into the kitchen or going to bed!)

10. Don't use your computer

This unfortunately is NOT true....Leo has a thing for my keyboard right now....apparently its tasty! And he's spoken to friends of mine as well (he actually spelled ew one day! lol and the creepiest part was that I was going to say that!)

lol I love it!

Now if only I had magnets to print it out and put it on the fridge....


May 29th, 2006, 03:57 PM
I haven't stopped laughing for 5 straight minutes on top of having sent it to my parents who also just called laughing. Great stuff Marie-Eve!

May 29th, 2006, 06:29 PM
That was really good. I've never seen it before either and I get alot of email. So I'm going to copy and forward it on as I'm sure everyone I know will get a good laugh too.

May 29th, 2006, 10:47 PM
I saw the last bit before, but not the letter part.

So I guess nobody is allowed in the bathroom alone? When Jemma hears me unzip, she comes running (literally). I think it's because we're vulnerable and HAVE to pet them (we're stuck there and they take advantage).

May 30th, 2006, 12:26 AM
No one but other dawg people understand when I say I have to sleep in a crooked diagonal or perched on the side as there's no room for me on my king-size bed or how much I would love to take a shower without a furry snout face peeking around the curtain - "hey whatcha doin' in there? Oh - is that water ? Hey, watchit - yer gettin' wet !....". And just try to explain the "gravy train" shuffle from the bathroom to the kitchen at breakfast time - me slowwwwlly trying to make my way down the hall with all dawgs in front of me walking backwards !!!! It's like they think I'll poof-disappear into thin air if they so much as take their eyes off me for a second ...