May 21st, 2006, 07:42 PM
A friend of mine was recently in a car crash that should have left her a quadripalegic, if not dead, yet she came out with a few bruises and scratches and nothing but. As you can imagine, this sort of event makes you think, and the two of us started talking about what we would want for our funerals. So I ask you all this. If you could choose the song(s) played at your funeral, what would be your top pick(s)? (This attempt to attach files of mine is a complete shot in the dark, so they may not work)
Mine are 1) Over the Rainbow sung by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
2) That I would be Good by Alanis Morrisette
3) You lift me Up sung by Josh Groban
4) Tears and Rain by James Blunt
May 21st, 2006, 07:44 PM
yup.. links totally didn't work :o
May 21st, 2006, 07:47 PM
That's a really hard one. I will have to think about it and get back to you. My dad's side of the family is Irish so they always have wakes and celebrate the life the person lived and wish them well in the afterlife. It's really a wonderful way to let someone go. (We'll skip my mom's side because they dwell and those funerals are awful. Not saying that a funeral is a good thing, but you know what I'm saying.) Anyway, I would want something that is uplifting and puts a smile on the faces of those who were there. Nothing that would bring them down or bring tears to their faces. Hmmmm......I'll get back to you on this one.
May 21st, 2006, 07:50 PM
No question - Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, as sung by John Cale
May 22nd, 2006, 12:39 AM
Heh heh, I'd have Marilyn Manson's "Personal Jesus"... Wouldn't that be creepy?
Seriously, I'd have to think about it. Then again, I'm pretty predictable...:o
Probably the Rolling Stones' "Painted Black", Nine Inch Nails "Only", Johnny Cash's "Hurt", and something by Smashing Pumpkins...
May 22nd, 2006, 08:29 AM
Iron Maiden's "Die With Your Boots On" and likely Tom Waits' "Heart of Saturday Night" album
May 22nd, 2006, 09:39 AM
Jawert1- I considered Tom Waits' "Come on up to the house" but decided I had too many songs. I love that voice.
May 22nd, 2006, 09:45 AM
Oh this is an interesting thread. VERY interesting.
But for now all I can come up with is....
"You can't always get what you want"
May 22nd, 2006, 10:06 AM
My parents were very adamant that they wanted cremation and no funeral. My Pop would say, "They can come visit me while I'm alive!" After he died, we honored his wishes. My Mom worried what people would think, etc. etc. Over the next 5 years, we went to a number of funerals. Every time there would be the typical "canned" funeral music. The whole thing seemed so staged and phony. Each time we would come home and my Mom would say, "We did the right thing. It's just an ordeal for the family." When John, our friend who lived 6 years with us, died suddenly, his brother from the East coast came out to visit and to help with the cremation arrangements. We felt the need to do something to reacquaint John's family with who John was in his last years of life. He had been estranged from them for over 15 years. We had a get-together of John's friends who shared stories of the good times with John and the times he had helped them. His brother picked out music that had personal significance to him. He left with a really great feeling that John's life had been worthwhile after all. There were a lot of things in John's past that had left his family thinking otherwise. After that I realized that there is a sense of closure that is needed and that it's ok to do things differently and in your own way. Another friend died and they played Elvis songs. When Mom died unexpectedly in November, we also honored her wishes and had no funeral. Frankly, I could not have handled it emotionally. Next Sunday, we are having a sharing of memories and celebration of my Mom's life in our backyard with a luncheon. I feel ready for it now and also feel a need for closure. It's important that whatever you want at your funeral, or whatever, that you let your families know. I'm grateful for the discussions my Mom and I had before and after my Pop died. John had also talked with us about it at the time. When we had to make the decisions, it was so much easier. I know some of Mom's friends were scandalized that there was no funeral, but I don't need to wonder if I did the right thing. Sorry for highjacking, but I just want to point out that doing things your way, whatever it may be, is so important and let your families know.
May 22nd, 2006, 02:03 PM
In my work and in my life in general (I had many serious illnesses as a child which influenced my choice of career :) ) and I have become almost expert (sadly) at funerals. And in thinking of my own. my grandfather's funeral was considered the "best" funeral many ppl attended - we held an Irish wake at the funeral home, a v. large one I might add. The Priest told jokes, we had a fiddler play some reels (grandpa played when he wasn't working) and at his age he liked The Old Rugged Cross (ugh but it was his choice) and he told me I could choose one so I picked "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace", a Catholic hymn that is essentially the Prayer of St. Francis since grandpa was such an animal lover. I sing in Gaelic (badly but with others it came out not too bad, lol) so we did an old Gaelic song he loved - about life et al.
Personally, I would choose Rise Again - written by Leon Dubinski of Cape Breton and performed best by Raylene Rankin of Mabou, CB. (The Rankin Family). The song is actually about the Halocaust - Leon is Jewish - but it has a certain Christian ring to it and my family is both Catholic and Jewish soooo...
I also want a Gaelic song Leis An Lurgainn (about someone leaving) and Only Time by Enya. And I want fiddlers and while every Irish person has to have Danny Boy sung at the graveside , I want a gender neutral one so I have asked a friend to do Thousands are Sailing, preferably in the manner of Deanta. And also I like Rhymes and Reasons sung by Mary Travers (written by John Denver).
But like grandpa I want ppl to have fun at my funeral er Irish celebration!!
I recently lost a close friend to cancer and oh my, it was hard but the music was wonderful!!!
It is much tougher when you attend the funeral of a child and you know, many of my young patients give very careful thought to what they want sung at their services. One little girl wanted Aselin Debision's ver of Over the Rainbow - she was thinking of the Bridge and her cat who had died. It was hard not to cry at her funeral!!! (I wish I could say we win them all but we don't, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!)
May 22nd, 2006, 03:14 PM
Actually I'd like to add two more songs:
(horridly hokey, but I do love it) Sweet Chariot
and Jacob's Ladder, as sung by the Indigo Girls
May 22nd, 2006, 03:52 PM
Amazing Grace played on a bagpipe!
May 22nd, 2006, 04:04 PM
LR that brings me to tears. I love Dust in the Wind, my sister wants I did It MY Way.
May 22nd, 2006, 04:06 PM
That's hard! Fearless by Pink Floyd,Even in the quietest moment by Supertramp and for the big finish,maybe something by Rage Against the Machine to wake people up!:party:
May 22nd, 2006, 05:00 PM
It sounds kind of mean but I think I'd have to go with "Isn't it Ironic" because that seems to be the story of my life. Plus I think it's just a pretty song. But I'd def. have to have amazing grace too because my grandma and I used to always sing that together when I was a child.
May 22nd, 2006, 08:04 PM
We hear bagpipes so often in Hfx and my office manager is a bagpipe instructor in her spare time (what spare time I want to know, lol?) so no, no bagpipes for me. So mournful. And as beautiful as Amazing Grace is, I want at least a few upbeat songs. Funerals are for the living to celebrate someone's life.
But we are all unique and it is interesting to see the responses. I also want part of my ashes here (at the hospital garden - we actully have a play garden) and part of them in Ireland and part in my woodlot!
May 22nd, 2006, 08:37 PM
I want my ashes placed up at my cottage, and have my name ingraved into a large rock with the saying "Memories are like starlight they go on forever". This way I'll be right near my last dog Travis as he is buried there. It will be like a family cemetery.
May 22nd, 2006, 08:53 PM
Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks for laughs and
The Dance by the same cause that is so real to me.
I know I will have heartaches, and have, but I wouldn't change a thing.
May 22nd, 2006, 09:44 PM
I guess "Creeps Like Me" by Lyle Lovett would be a bit too much for the (hopefully) weeping masses.
The preacher would probably be offended with a rousing rendition of "Church" by Lovett.
So, I might have to settle on Lovett's "Closing Time."
The night she is a true companion
They shuffle in
They hear the sound
But by nights end
Its nights abandon
You look across the floor
Aint anyone around
Unplug them people
And send them home
Its closing time
Now kenny hes been mixing sound all evening
Sometimes I think that boy
He aint got no ears
And kathys laughing
Kathys always laughing
Well keep on laughing kathy
Just make it out of here
Unplug them people
And send them home
Its closing time
So stack those chairs upon those tables
And stack those empties upon that bar
And count your money
And count my money
And hear those bottles ringing
You know where you are
Unplug them people
And send them home
Its closing time
The nights all thats left behind
You take your part and Ill take mine
And go on home
Its closing time
May 22nd, 2006, 09:46 PM
I want my husband to sing The Dance at my funeral. Or maybe afterwards or something. I love that one. Also Brooks and Dunn "I Believe"
There are some beautiful church hymns that I want but can't recall the names of any of them now. But whenever I hear one on a Sunday that moves me I lean over to my family and say "I want that one at my funeral." And that doesn't feel at all morbid to me. My funeral is the last party I'll get to plan. And I love a good party.
At Winston Churchill's funeral I heard that they had someone on the left of the altar playing Taps, and then someone on the right played reveille to symbolize the dying and then the rising. I don't know if that's true or not but it's pretty cool
My husband lost his dearest friend, they were raised as brothers, two months ago. He stood to give a Eulogy and then ended with an a capella rendition of Amazing Grace. He has a beautiful voice and it was very moving !
My friends son learned Spirit in the Sky on the guitar (he's twelve) and I said eh should play that at my funeral.
May 22nd, 2006, 11:14 PM
Ohhhh, I forgot about The Dance!!! I did have a friend who died on one of the flights on 9/11 and that was one of her fav songs and it was sung at her funeral. I want that one too, :) It is a wonderful celebration of life, esp one cut short!
I've attended a few ( a few too many quite frankly) funerals of teenagers who have had that song played as well. How could I forget that and thx for the reminder!
May 22nd, 2006, 11:57 PM
I agree that the dance is a beautiful song. I don't think I could have it at my funeral though.. sad story coming on: A girl in my neighbourhood lived in a family that, in general had a lot of problems. When the girl (woman actualy by this point) was 19, she hung herself from a tree out front of her house. My dad walks our dog every morning at arounf 4:30 am. He passed by this family's house and saw the girl hanging from the tree, still alive, gasping for breath and "silently screaming". He cut her down, banged on the door to her home and called an ambulance. They came and took her off to the hospital, but she died later that day. My dad was never quite the same again. At her funeral they played the dance and my dad bawled his eyes out. Something I have only seen twice in my life, and one of these times was when I almost drowned as a 5 year old in the Great Barrier Reef. Even though I hope to outlive my parents, I could not play a song that might bring back memories of that day to my dad.
May 23rd, 2006, 12:32 AM
Already thought about this one myself ;) Mine is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd ;)
May 23rd, 2006, 12:36 AM
Puppyluv, that's horrible for your dad. He sounds like a really great man.:)
May 23rd, 2006, 02:11 PM
Puppyluv, that is quite an experience for your dad - sounds like the kind of thing we have trauma therapists for now. I can see why you would not want that song!!!
May 23rd, 2006, 03:16 PM
I dont think i want a funeral, but if i had one I think id probably want something by Pink Floyd, because they've been such a big part of my life... and definetly Free Bird by Lynard Skynard because i try to live my life by the lyrics "im as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change!"(and everyone can rock out to the 5 minute guitar solo at the end:D ) Frenchy, fearless is a GREAT song!