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Finally having a breakdown

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 09:52 AM
Here I am sitting at work, almost bursting out in tears. I have gone through alot, and I really thought I can handle everything, but I am realizing I can't.
I feel so emotionally and physically drained, I do not know what to do.
It has come to the point where my daughter ( only 2 ) hates to stay with me alone. She is so happy go lucky when there other people around, but as soon as we are one on one, she has all these crying, hissy fits.
I know she can read into me, which is not making this any easier on me. I actually got to the point, I screamed at her, and slammed a door. That really scared her..
I am beyond stressed. I do not know what to do, I only have my mom, who has her own problems..... I need someone to talk to...I do not know how much longer I can take this. Top it off, I just found out an old buddy of mine died in a fire April 28th.....I can not go to the funeral:(

kaytris
May 8th, 2006, 09:54 AM
I'm sorry.. is there a counsellor, a therapist or a pastor you can talk to?

there is no shame in asking for help.. that's what these professionals are for.

erykah1310
May 8th, 2006, 09:56 AM
Im sorry to hear about your buddy.:grouphug:

As for your daughter have you joined the todays parent forum? I have no kids and unfortunately have no advice to offer but my cousin ( on her 5TH kid) finds the todays parent forum extremely helpful. Just a suggestion

Once again I am so sorry for your loss

Bushfire2000
May 8th, 2006, 10:35 AM
Rottielover sorry about your friend.
Todays parent forum sounds like a good place to try.
Don't worry too much about your daughter, they(children) always test their parents the most and often act out with the people that they feel safest with.
The "terrible twos" name was coined for a reason.
Talking to a counsellor can help.
Maybe a friend could look after your daughter for a few hours and you could do something just for you. Go to a movie, out for lunch, visit a museum.
Talk to your employer maybe they have personal days for stress relief it sounds like you need one.

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 10:38 AM
My work will do nothing for me now, I am also out of a job at the end of the month to add more stress to what I am having a hard time to handle.....I have gone to todays parent....Honestly has not helped at all. Thank you for advice:(

Bushfire2000
May 8th, 2006, 10:47 AM
Rottielover what is a PVS analyst and will it be hard to find another job?

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 10:50 AM
prescriber validation analyst. I have been looking now for 3 weeks, since the news, no luck so far. around here everyone is looking to hire students contract, a heck of alot cheaper :(

poodletalk
May 8th, 2006, 10:53 AM
Rottielover.

Sometimes a good cry and lying on the sofa eating junk food and watching movies is the best thing you can do.

Loosing a job is very stressful, but at least you you have options! You can get UI for a year, plus I think you mentioned on another post you are getting a small package.

Take this opportunity to re-event yourself, think what YOU really want to do and figure out ways to do it.

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 10:55 AM
Poodletalk....UI is no longer for a year, it is a maximum of 44 weeks, I have called. It is not only the job situation right now it is everything. I have been crying for the past 3 nights. I can not stop....

poodletalk
May 8th, 2006, 11:01 AM
Rottielover,

Why don't you call and speak to your doctor. The other office I use to work at, people would get "burn out" they would be out of the office for six months or a year depending on the situation.

When they were on "burn out" there doctor would refer them to doctors who would help them with stress and how to relieve their stress.

It's just an idea.....

Bushfire2000
May 8th, 2006, 11:06 AM
Talking to your doctor soounds like a good suggestion.
I recently had a litle rant on the forum about my job and it certainly made me feel better.
Go ahead we can take it let lose.

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 11:10 AM
I have nothing to vent about, I am just emotionally and physically exhausted... And can not stop crying, I will call my DR. Unfortunetly, all she will probably do is tell me to see a shrink, and be put on meds :(

Lucky Rescue
May 8th, 2006, 11:12 AM
Call the CLSC and tell them you need someone to talk to. They WILL help.

Bushfire2000
May 8th, 2006, 11:16 AM
Sorry. :sad: I'm thinking of you, and wishing you the best.:love:

poodletalk
May 8th, 2006, 11:17 AM
RottieLover,

Maybe the people at my office talked with a shrink, but they learned how to deal with stressful situations,when they felt overwhelmed with a situation how to deal with it.

One guy was a chain smoker, when he came back to the office he quit smoking thanks to the doctors he delt with. One guy came back with a new diet and he stopped drinking coffee.

Burn out, (sounds like what you have) is very common in our generation, working long hours, single mother, social life etc... Just call the doctor or CLSC and see what they say.

Rick C
May 8th, 2006, 11:26 AM
Sorry to hear of your troubled times and the loss of your friend.

Rick C
www.goldentales.ca

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 11:37 AM
I will be calling the CLSC after work... I need out :(

catsnatcher-CDN
May 8th, 2006, 12:24 PM
RottieLover,

You need an official break. Is there any way you can separate yourself from
your situation for a few days? Can you leave your daughter at your mom's, Harley at a friend's and just check into a hotel somewhere?

You absolutely need to take yourself out of your current environment to get a fresh perspective on what your next step should be.

Your daughter doesn't hate staying alone with you. She is at an age where she is testing your boundaries and what is and isn't permitted. Don't give in.

This time in your life is just a bump in the road that you have no choice but to endure. It will absolutely pass.

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 01:06 PM
I do not have that option now, but at the months end, I am leaving for 3 days...NO child. Harley is with me, but I want him to be. He is my rock right now. I will be staying in a hotel. But it is for a show, no time to think about what is happening to me, which I guess in one way is a good thing

Joey.E.CockersMommy
May 8th, 2006, 02:00 PM
Gee Rottilover I am so sorry you are going through this - if its any consilation I actually lost my job yesterday too after being told I was being moved into another position. No notice just all off a sudden I was logged out and left the whole day to wonder what was going on. Turned out another employee that was training decided to disclose a conversation that we had and get me fired. The conversation was only to clarify something with the job itself. This employee also accidentley sent me an email that was actually meant for someone else - it was basically stabbing me in the back. Afterwards I received an insincere apology about the email.

I am not a single parent like you - but I too have snapped at my kids - its not right but we are human - and it is so hard in times of stress. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your friend - this couldnt have happened at a worse time. Please take care of yourself, don't give up - Please post later after work and let us know how you are doing.

Life sucks sometimes and you have been through harder times than most people - I really hope things look up for you soon. :o

Rottielover
May 8th, 2006, 02:06 PM
i do not have a computer at home anymore, it is broken... I can only get back tomorrow

CyberKitten
May 8th, 2006, 06:56 PM
So sorry to hear of your troubles. I agree re the CLSC - they will surely find you a good counsellor or therapist (and we can all use advice and help from time to time!!). You prob also need a phsysical work up to make sure you are healthy - losing sleep does not help either and everything looks bleaker then. I hope they are help to help you help yourself!!!

Take care and good luck!:grouphug:

mummummum
May 8th, 2006, 09:09 PM
I have nothing to vent about, I am just emotionally and physically exhausted... And can not stop crying, I will call my DR. Unfortunetly, all she will probably do is tell me to see a shrink, and be put on meds :(

Rottielover, there is no shame in taking medication when something is wrong with your "heart and soul". If you had an infection - you would take antibiotics. If the furkid or the peoplekid were ill you would INSIST on medication and a specialist if needs be.

Whether you have a serious case of "the blues" or the onset of depression you should treat yourself and your illness no differently - you see a specialist and you take medication appropriate to your symptoms. With the right meds and a little calm space between your problems and you, at least then you will be able to see the trees for the forest and the forest for the trees.

You will come out of this Rottielover - like all of us at one time or another in our lives - you just need a hand up right now.

BusterBoo
May 8th, 2006, 09:17 PM
I agree with mummummum! Don't be ashamed, embarrassed or feel guilty about meds. The Drs know best and if you need a little helping hand to get through your troubles, accept it. In a little while from now, your furbabies and skinbabies will thank you for it. they need you :love:

CyberKitten
May 8th, 2006, 10:32 PM
I just wanted to add re meds - you should not feel at all guilty about taking something to help you sleep or to be less anxious. You would take meds if you had an infection or a phsyical ailement? Your emotional well being is equally important!!! If you lack sleep or are under stress, it also affects your physical well being!! I always recall a prof of mine telling us stress can kill you so you have to look after it!!!!! (It rarely does kill you but it can life very miserable and you do not need to live that way - there are steps you can take!)

So sorry to hear of your troubles at work Joey's mom!!!! That sounds horrible!!!! I hope you find something else soon that you enjoy. And maybe it is a sign to take a break and spend more time with the kids. My sil is on maternity leave and loves it. Get lots of rest and then find the job of your dreams or at least one you like!!
:)

Skryker
May 8th, 2006, 10:37 PM
Oh, Rottielover, :sorry: you're going through so much all at once. :grouphug: Please speak to someone-your doctor or whoever-as soon as you can. The sooner you can get help (if it turns out that you need it), the easier it will be. I left things too long years ago and actually ended up housebound by agoraphobia for a time. There is no shame in being overwhelmed and needing some support. Does your work offer an employee support programmes? They usually refer you to a local consellor on a short-term basis. It might be all that you need to get you back on your feet. :grouphug:

Rottielover
May 9th, 2006, 09:17 AM
I called the CLSC here, all they said was to go to my DR, so she can send me to a good shrink....I do not have the time. I am not allowed to have any more time off work. Or possible revoction of the tiny little severence I do get after.
I was joking about the beer. I have 1 in my fridge, that Has been there for at least a month. I look at it, and then put it down.
I can not seem to get out of this slump, I need to get away.... but can't...
I need to find a job that will let me live my life again. Once I hit unemployment, I have to move out, and possibly lose the dog. I can not afford staying where I am, I have nothing to sacrifice, such as what I spend, I only have bills. :(....I am just scared, I have never been in a situation I was not in control of with jobs. Uncertainty is killing me, as well as my daughter

BusterBoo
May 9th, 2006, 09:31 AM
Well, I don't really know your background or history, so this is just my opinion, and keeping it in a general sense.

If the CLSC says you need to see a Dr, then you should go! Even if you have to go and sit in the waiting room at your local hospital for several hours, please do it. They will at least start the ball rolling and get a file opened for you so that you can see someone who can help you out of your slump. If you don't want to go to the hospital, then call your Dr and explain the situation. If you can't get through to the Dr, then tell his nurse, receptionist or anyone that can get through to your Dr. There has to be someone around who can get you some help. If you need to sit and cry at the Dr's office to get some help and attention, then do it. I know in the Gatineau area, there are a lot of clinics that are opened until 9:00 pm, hopefully this is the case in your area.

I have been in your position.....my world fell apart, but with some gentle encouragement from some caring people, I came back. (yes, it did take approx 2 months off work, medication and some serious self-analysis).

You can do it, for your child, for your furbabies and most importantly ....FOR YOURSELF!

badger
May 9th, 2006, 10:27 AM
Karen, when you call the CLSC, ask to speak to a social worker. I consulted one once when I first came to Montreal (for practical help but there were some underlying issues as well). Social workers have lots of different skills, especially listening skills, and s/he can get the ball rolling for you. They are trained to see when a situation is urgent and (I hope I'm right) can fast-track you to the help you need right now.

Do not let concerns about your job stop you, if you can only get an appointment during the day. This is YOUR life. If you are a full-time employee (and not on contract, for instance) the law says that you are entitled to sick time. If your manager is sympathetic, speak to her/him.

Your daughter's well-being is dependent on yours, so right now you must come first. Have you mentioned any of this to your mum? I realise she has her own problems, but let her know what's eating you, I'm sure she'll step up if needed.

I'm thinking about you.

Frenchy
May 9th, 2006, 12:42 PM
Rottielover;YOU HAVE TO GO SEE A DOC!You have to think about you and take care of yourself.This can lead to other health problem.Please take some time to go consult.With the lifes we are living these days,sometimes we do need help.Please take care of yourself and only then,you will be able to get back on track and find solutions to your problems.

Joey.E.CockersMommy
May 9th, 2006, 02:12 PM
Rottielover=

I was joking about the beer. I have 1 in my fridge, that Has been there for at least a month. I look at it, and then put it down.

If I were in your shoes I would have had the beer. :D

chico2
May 9th, 2006, 05:34 PM
Rottielover,one of my sons,was in such a deep state of depression,he almost came to an end.
After much dodging by me and friends,he now has a doctor at CAMH,here in Toronto.
She's been wonderful,he's been on medication for a while and it worked wonders,he starting to feel ready to slowly go off it.
Depression is a disease,a very serious disease and has to be treated.
Do you not have a friend who can help you through this,or even your mom,if you were my daughter I would want to help,no matter what my own problems were.
Our animals are an incredible comfort,they allow us to cry into their furry little bodies,as I am sure Harley does,but please find someone to help you over this big hurdle,lift the depression off your shoulders,cry and scream if you have to,but someone has to help:love:

CyberKitten
May 9th, 2006, 07:35 PM
Call your doctor and tell her or him it is an emergency. If anyone on the phone dissuades you, go to the office - just show up and tell them you absolutely need to see you doctor!! Do not take no for an answer and if your doc is away, go to an ER at a hospital. There are some good hospitals and some good psychiatrists in Mtl (I have an aunt who pratices psychiatry but she is in the Maritimes) but there are some excellent resources where you are located.

Any ER will have a psych person on call and you should see them. Or some kind of therapist - a social worker, psychologist - anyone who can help you tho you do sound like you also need a medical workup, it always helps. Sometimes, our emotions mask a pshyical ailment. (Just as this happens with our pets!).

Or your own doctor or an ER doc should be able to refer you to someone who can help!!!!

Please take care of yourself - life is far too short to feel miserable!!

Joey.E.CockersMommy
May 9th, 2006, 09:05 PM
This may sound a bit silly - but one thing I find that really helps me if I am going through a hard time is to focus on something that you know you can have control over - for me right now its walking 45 minutes everyday. It can be anything though - to get your mind focused on something positive and something you can control - even though everything else seems to be messed up. To me it makes me feel like I am taking control of my situation

I agree to with everyone here see a doctor or talk to a professional - and take medication if needed. Tell them at work that you are having tests for something serious - make up an excuse to take a few hours off.

mom_to_many
May 10th, 2006, 07:19 AM
This really has been a hard year for some of us! I agree with everyone on talking to a doctor. I was (am) a single mom. (He will be 19 tomorrow!) and when he was about your daughters age I was fried as in burnt out. It is not easy being single with a young child, and I finally went to a Dr. who prescribed an anti-depressant. Eveyone noticed a big change! I was happy and smiling again!

Your daughter is at a stage where she will test you, and as you said read your feelings. With Sean..I would walk out the front door..count to 10..20, or 30 if I had to, just to cool off. It may have scared him..but it worked. Also try to make time for yourself even if it is only one night a month. Hire a babysitter and go out with friends for a night of movies or dancing. It does wonders for the mind!

As with all of us who have been through some rough waters, it will work out. It might not seem like it now, but somehow it all works out in the end. I spent most of this February in my own little hell as you and JoeyECMommy are now. Friends helped alot to get me back on track. It's not 100% ok just yet..but progress is being made. Hang in there...:grouphug:

glasslass
May 12th, 2006, 09:40 PM
Rottielover, please don't forget all your friends here as well. We're all here for you. Chico is right. Your mom should know so that she can help you too. Think if it was your daughter. Wouldn't you want to be there for her? Of course you would. Everyone has problems and everyone needs help once in awhile. Anyone who says differently isn't being truthful.

erykah1310
May 15th, 2006, 10:44 PM
Rottielover just wondering how you are doing? Hopefully things are looking up, just thinking bout ya and really really hope things are looking up!

Prin
May 16th, 2006, 12:30 AM
She posted a new thread today... ;)
http://www.pets.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=26778