Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

Arg!!

.unknown.
April 7th, 2006, 10:49 PM
I hate the fact that being responsible means sometimes, you have to lose out on fun. I hate it when people make me feel bad for spoiling fun.

Yesterday i went to visit my parents; they live in a small town just outside of calgary. My dogs love it there because they have a big huge usually, unused green space behind their house-- We always go and play fetch there. Well, there is a family living on the other side that have small children and a reallllllllly big dog. My Luna is infatuated with this big old guy, which is pretty endearing. When she first saw him she ran up and down his fence with him for an hour it seemed. Well while i was out playing, the women who lives in this house with the big dog, instructed her little 4 or 5 year old boy to OPEN THE GATE TO THEIR YARD SO THE NICE DOGGIES COULD PLAY.

ARGH So, it didnt turn out as disasterous as i thought it might, but Luna barged right onto the big dog's territory to say hi, and i was cringing and trying to rally up my dogs when the woman brings her dog into the green space. She said " I just thought since they were playing so nice ALONG THE FENCE, that they could play" So her small boy comes out, and wants to play fetch with Suzie, who is a VERY VERY hig energy fetch player. She jumps and spins and runs like a maniac.

So i got my ball and suzie took her to my parents yard and explained that Suzie wasn't dependable around other dogs. I tried to give the ball to the boy to play fecth a couple times, but it was too sketchy, Suzie can jump OVER the boy if she wanted to......

Neither of my dogs are socialized to children AT ALL. So she got kinda insulted when i took both of my dogs inside. I really didn't want a fight.

I have noticed in Suzie that she is VERY quick to defend Luna, any time she growled at the other dog in any minute amount suzie was there ready to help.

So anyway, i put the dogs inside and the woman seemed insulted and said "That's it eh?". On top of Suzie not being very Dog friendly, she had also ran to her danger point with her feets. So, to save them i decided to take em inside. I explained to the lady we were done playing and left.

Today, in the morning i take the dogs out to the green space again... Thinking it might have been clear that the dogs should play together. but no..... He son opened the gate again to let the dogs play.

So i again, put suzie in the yard and went and rallied Luna up to come inside. This time she was playing in THEIR yard with their dog. Which, i am not very comfortable with at all....Not so much because Luna is not dog friendly, but because she has only ever hung out with on little kid before and she kept knocking him over and stuff. I really don't want any misundestandings or for her kids to get hurt.

So, i rallied luna up to her dismay and took her home.

As i walked back the boy yelled "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN"


i was upset.

why do people NOT ASK.

that would be the first thing i would do before i let my dog or my kid near a strange dog, let alone TWO dogs....

ugh....

I am working on the dogs manners constantly, but i really didn't know what to say when the woman didn't even ASK before she let her kid and her dog out into the same area as mine...

I guess i can be happy that nothing serious happened, but if it had, neither me nor her would have been able to break up a fight.... My Luna is 75lbs and her dog was at least 100....

jiorji
April 8th, 2006, 12:51 AM
As i walked back the boy yelled "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN"




this sounds VERY frustrating and you might get annoyed...but LOL that part just made me laugh. It's just so typical for a kid that young to say that. Don't take it to heart...you're the adult, he's a kid...you did the MATURE thing......good job.:D

Prin
April 8th, 2006, 02:55 AM
I would have just taken the "blame" and said something like "My dogs just aren't trained to be around kids, and I'm just not comfortable."

Then again, when it comes to my dogs, I'm pretty assertive and blunt... People kept telling me once to stop bugging Boo because he was "just playing" and I went off and it went something like this: "Boo has weird body language and if you don't know him, you wouldn't know he's getting aggressive. I know my dog, and right now, he's ready to fight. Will you be breaking up the fight? No? Then lay off." :o

So basically, what I would really have said was "My dogs are not great around kids. If one of them rips your kid's face off, whose fault will it be. Mine? Ok then lay off.":D

mastifflover
April 8th, 2006, 07:23 AM
Good points Prin you know someone will have to wear the blame and it will be you and your dogs if something happens. So be the big meanie but you are protecting you and your babies. I do not let Bud around kids mainly because of his size (Can I ride your dog?) and he is not comfortable when kids started moving too quickly I can see his body tensing and wanting to run away so I do not subject him too kids. They are way to unpredictable and I love my big guy to much to put him in those situations. Like you I am a meanie and do not care one little bit.

jawert1
April 8th, 2006, 10:24 AM
It smarts when someone accuses you of being mean, especially a child that doesn't understand. What's worse is when an adult who should have some semblance of common sense joins in the fray. You did what you had to in order to avoid a further problem, to which I say bravo. I deal with the same thing regularly, people who don't see a heavy prong collar and muzzle as an indicator of a leash aggressive dog. They quip and make jokes as though they have ANY idea that Peaches wagging her tail with her ears pinned doesn't mean "I will eat you if I get the chance" (like Prin said - I know my dogs body language better than a stranger). I would also make sure that your folks have a reasonable statement of your choosing to impart should this woman make any comment to them. You were protecting your babies and hers by doing what you did :)

.unknown.
April 8th, 2006, 11:45 AM
my parents definitley agree and know how i feel about the situation. I'm confident they will support my veiwpoint if questioned by the neighbor.

hehe that sounded like some sort of official statement!

shannonRN
April 8th, 2006, 06:15 PM
I'd stop over with a toy for the dog, explain the situation a little more to smooth things over, and try to end it on a friendly note. Nobody's the bad guy.

Honestly though, if someone let their dog rile my dog up for an hour (I'm sure that was probably overstated, I'm just using your words to make a point) while he is confined safely in his fence, I'd be annoyed. It sounds to me like you sort of sent the signal that you wanted your dogs to play, and since your dog was loose, it might give the impression that the dog can be trusted with dogs, children and whatever else the dog might come across--and she just misunderstood. As for the kid opening up the gate a second time, well, he obviously didn't get the point the first time, but he did the second time--you're just being mean :)

I don't mean to get on your case, just pointing out what the point of view might be from the other side of the fence. You did what you had to to make sure that everyone remains safe and that's most important. If you desire to, there's a way to end things on a more positive note, will leave everyone feeling better and will prevent little mishaps in the future. JMO.

mhass1129
April 8th, 2006, 09:21 PM
You know I come across this all the time, only Hunter is a puppy (12 weeks), and he's playful, but HAS NO DOGGY MANNERS. He doesn't know how to socialize around dogs and he bites and I know he ticks them off, the way he chases my cats when we're not looking, etc. Yet people say "Oh let's put them together and let them play" when they have this big adult dog that can bite my puppy in half. I'm like, "I rather not, he doesn't have all his shots yet, and he can really irritate your dog". Friendly sniffing is ok, but I try to keep my puppy on a short leash and move on.

Another thing that tends to happen is everyone goes, "oh how nice your cats are!" And then they reach and pick them up. THunder doesn't care, she loves it. Twister's temperament is different - while she may not get upset if you sit on the other end of the couch, she doesn't like being handled by strangers. so they carry her and she HISSESS at them and they just tell her to be nice! I'm like, "she is being nice - she hasn't scratched your face!" This is where I go "Honey can you put the cats in their room so they don't get cat hair all over our guest?" And my husband is happy to oblige.

Needless to say, .unkown., I understand your aggravation but like everyone else said, you are being the mature person and the responsible pet owner. Keep it up!

BernerLver
April 10th, 2006, 02:20 PM
I find people are just a bit clueless in general about this kind of stuff. Bailey is a very nice dog but he's young and very excitable and not used to kids.

We have 2 little girls who live beside us. They think Bailey's neat but he's big and gets excited and them running all around makes it difficult to keep him calm and relaxed etc. Their parents don't pay any attention and I feel they are a bit too rambunctious but I'm not about to parent another person's children.

If I have him outside with us when they come out I usually take him back inside. I just feel this is the best way to avoid any problems that may arise. The other day I did this and the parents are like "He's not friendly eh?" and I was totally dumbstruck. I just explained that he gets a little too excited and went inside myself.

Again, I think people are a bit clueless.

meb999
April 10th, 2006, 05:26 PM
I know EXACTLY how you feel! People can be so clueless sometimes....

I had a little girl call me 'mean lady' when I wouldn't let her play with Buster. I hadn't had him for very long (maybe a couple of months) so I was still getting to know his body language. One thing I did know for sure, is that he had been hit as a method of 'training'. He was terrified of large men and baseball bats. :(
So I brought him to a fenced in area at the park and this little girl comes along and asks if she can play with my doggy. I say 'yes' but be gentle. So she takes the ball throws it, Buster goes to get it, and when he doesn't give it to her she bonks him over the head with her fist :mad: . So I put Buster's leash on, and said 'we have to leave' and she asked why she couldn't play with him anymore, and I told her she shouldn't hit dogs, especially ones she doesn't know. So she runs off to her mommy screaming that I'm mean lady. As I'm leaving, I see her mom give me the finger. Nice, real nice. Good example for your kid, lady!!

Just tell yourself you did the right thing. If your dog hurts her dog, or even worse, her kid : you're responsible. You did the right thing, and you're not mean at all!!! :D

Prin
April 10th, 2006, 09:07 PM
Wow... I don't know how you walked away from that one. :mad:

mummummum
April 10th, 2006, 10:33 PM
I think we have all had frustrating as well as the odd hair and hackles-raising experiences with our dawgs. But, since I'm in it for the long haul with my doggies and my neighbours I usually try the peacemaker approach as soon as I've made sure everyone is safe from harm's way. I look at it as an extension of training - I am training the humans with whom my dawgs will have interaction HOW to interact with my dawgs - and it is on my terms. For instance Declan the new lad is very wary of but fascinated by men, is head shy and is a lunger/ferocious barker. I have learned that when we are approaching a man and he appears to be interested (not with me alas...) I speak out well before he is near and tell him that Dec is very man wary, hand-shy and doesn't see very well - that it is best to: not look at him, speak to me only, don't move your hands quickly or towards him, let him approach you and check you out first. Doing this I no longer have to drag a scared and aggressive Declan away from lunging at the poor guy and Declan has ongoing opportunities to desensitize /learn new behaviours. I try to remember that not all people with dawgs are dawg-people and having insight into dawg behaviour and pack behaviour isn't a skill possessed by everyone. So if I can do a little diplomatic work on behalf of my dawgs by either explaining something in advance or taking the time to explain later, the chances are the people with whom I might have had trouble with, end up with a better understanding as to why - because of my dawgs behaviour/quirks - I can't allow something to happen and they usually end up being willing and helpful participants in providing learning/training opportunities so that I can work on my dawgs unwanted behaviours/quirks. It's not a 100% - there will always be hopeless eejits out there but it's easier to "co-opt the enemy" than to have a growing list of people and places we have to avoid.

.unknown.
April 11th, 2006, 12:16 PM
It is unfortunate in my neighborhood, there are two distinct groups of people.
The people who are culturally conditioned to FEAR dogs, and the people who LOVE dogs.

It makes for some tense walks some days depending on the time of day you go out. But usually, the dog people go out early in the morning or late at night.

I have people cross the street, leap in fear and scream. My dogs are interested in people but never agressive toward them. I usually put my dogs in a sit and wait for the people to pass, if they don't cross the street that is.

I have also gotten compliments with Luna, small children have been crying because they wanted to pet her. I put her in a sit and she will sit there calmly while they pet her. Suzie is too boistrous and mouthy still.

oi.

Aside from all the work the actual DOG needs, the rest of the world is alot to deal with as well.

meb999
April 11th, 2006, 08:14 PM
Aside from all the work the actual DOG needs, the rest of the world is alot to deal with as well.

amen to that!!