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The Little Calico - A Cautionary Tale regarding Cats and Young Children

CyberKitten
March 29th, 2006, 10:14 PM
I was doing rounds this am and the mom of one of my small children was in tears outside her room as I came up to it. Admittedly, this is not all that out of the ordinary given what we do but I did hug her all the same and asked if she wanted to talk after - she did but she added that it was not about C, her child, but something else and she did not want to disturb her daughter - who is 8 and progressing really well in fighting leukemia.

The story she told me later was chilling - for anyone who loves cats!!!! And this woman is a model for cat lovers everywhere. The family had five cats and even has 4 birds and one small poodle. They all get along. The three youngest kittens were ones she adopted from the SPCA days before their time was almost up - two were sibs but the 3rd, close in age, had been placed in the same cage and had bonded with them so while she had planned on taking home the sibs, she could not just leave the little calico behind.

As these experiences often go, the little calico became her favourite - she was the female and was the most endrearing and slept with the mom (The dad died a few years ago and so she is a single parent); all 3 kits were skittish, having been abused before finding their way to the SPCA. She loved them all but the calico just became her "baby" - followed her everywhere and bonded with her in a way some of the family's other cats did not. They have a Himmy-Persian who had been thru several homes who was matted so terribly when she arrived and seemed visually impaired but once vetted and groomed, is doing VERY well and is a beautiful cat!

She just has one child and a the week previous to today, she had relatives of her ex husband come to visit. A half brother of her husband and his daughter, aged seven. The brother and her and little in common and while she waited out on them hand and foot (as the saying goes), he did little to offer and would even sneak out of the house to get himself and no one else coffee at Tim Horten's (an ex of the kind of person he is). The daughter was in a word - and I hate to label any child by this term - a "brat". She refused to listen to this woman - who is an excellent mom (I have seen her relate to her own ill daughter as well as assist other moms and children as they navigate the difficult waters of the cancer riptide) - and the dad did nothing to discipline the child and became angry when the woman attempted to make her listen. Needless to say, it fast became the visit from you know where.

Worst of all, the child, aged 7, was fixated on the little calico!! This was a cat (now aged 14 mos or so) who did not really liked to be picked up, much less mauled by a child or anyone. The woman put her foot down and grabbed the cat from her often as she could but she had to prepare meals and was not able to watch the child 24/7 and the father was no help at all. In fact, he expressed openly that he did not "much care for animals" and told her she was a little on the crazy side re animals, considering the cats had their own bedroom et al. She told him in no uncertain terms (believing herself to be exaggerating a bit to make her point) that "your daughter is going to kill my cat - please tell her to stop chasing her, mauling her, grabbing her... she can't take that. She is not used to that. My cats like their peace , their sleep, their toys, quiet and gentleness".

This went on for several days, and one day she saw her little baby running like a high speed racer as fast as her little legs could carry her down the hall, trying to get away from the child who less than an hr ago had been ordered to "give me my cat back NOW" which she did, placing her in her own bedroom and shutting the door. Of course, the child had not listened and voila, it was back to the chase.

She saw the cat do down the basement and assumed she went it other laundry room where there is a litter box and some other things for the kitties. The child -as far as the mom knew- remained on the 1st floor. Sometime later in the night, she called the cat - and the kitty was nowhere to be found, Entertaining the visitors and visiting her own daughter daily in the hospital, sher told herself the cat must be in the basemnt- sleeping in one of her fav spots. So she took the visitors to the hospital with her.

That night, the kitty was not to be found! She looked everywhere, called, asked the child if she had left the cat out or knew where she was. No, of course not, replied the truculent child. After many hours of searching - with some yowls from the other two young ones (the other two kitties being older but certain something was "amiss") - she saw a definite calico tail protruding out from behind the dryer in the basement - straight so she knew she was not skeeping. She called her to no response. She knelt down and discovered a cat - cold and clearly deceased with her head turned slightly to the right.

She speculates either the cat jumped from something to avoid the child and broke something and crawled - dragging herself into that hidey hole - into that space - or else she suffered a heart attack after the chase. I myself proposed possibly (after she told me the cat had barely eaten with all the changes and the mauling and unwanted attention of the child) that her little body may have just given up - not able to cope with nothing to eat (tho apparently she'd eaten some but not enough as she should have).

She has ordered a necropsy and is awaiting the results - and needless to say, is none too happy more with the father of the child than the child. She believes a child that age should be able to listen and yes, that's true but if a parent does not provide boundaries and patient discipline and teach the child how to care for and interact with a cat - and leave one alone if so asked by someone kind enough to let them visit - that may not be true at all.

The moral of the story is that cats and children (or pets of any kind) and children should never be left alone and if you have visitors who refuse to do this, then you must politely ask them to leave. She will certainly do this next time but she never tought it would actually come to that. She still cries when she talks about it and it will take her awhile - as she concurrently copes with a daughter fighting a very serious illness - to get over this and she never forget her wonderful baby!! She has not yet told her own child and I do not think that's avisable just yet either. She needs to be a little stronger and I have seen much less psychological traumas set back the advances patients have made in overcoming their illnesses.

Today - as I was doing my grocery shopping - I found a card at the Superstore (like Provigo in Que or Loblaws in other parts of Canada, not sure of out west tho) - that expresses sympathy for the loss of your cat. I had seen them before and was rather "pleased" that stores now offered this option so I can give it to her tomorrow or when I next see her.

So, please - DO NOT ALLOW small children to be alone with your pets, whatever the circumstances are!!!!!! The outcome can be tragic in so many ways!!!

Prin
March 29th, 2006, 11:14 PM
I don't understand how the owner could let the kid torture the cat for days. How is that love? How did she not see it coming and do something about it beforehand?

Soroush
March 29th, 2006, 11:47 PM
I don't understand how the owner could let the kid torture the cat for days. How is that love? How did she not see it coming and do something about it beforehand?

My exact sentiments. Had it been her sister, mother or someone very close doing this, I would understand if she was hesitant towards kicking them out, but an ex-husband's half-brother's child?!! What the hell?

I'm sorry but I think all the blame goes to this woman instead of the child or the child's father. She called out to her cat and when she didn't get a response she was too lazy to go downstairs and check?! That's how concerned she was about this so called "mama's baby"?

In my opinion, there's little to learn from this story for a normal loving person, but certainly a lot to feel angry about. No one in their right mind would allow such a thing to happen.

And I don't think leaving a child alone with a pet is the reason behind this whole tragedy. Leaving a child with a pet can result in unwanted accidents. This was by no means an accident. It was foreseen and could've been easily prevented had the lady set her priorities right.

Prin
March 30th, 2006, 12:23 AM
Leaving a pet alone with a nasty kid for a week will kill any pet. :confused: Let that be a lesson: if you don't care about your cat enough to defend it and scold a little twirp who is bugging it, then your cat probably won't last long.

amber416
March 30th, 2006, 01:05 AM
Absolutely disgusting. As i type this, my own little calico is curled up at my feet....my calico is also my personal favorite of my four cats (is it wrong to have a favorite? i don't know, probably, oh well), she sleeps with me, and she would not be okay with a child chasing her, picking her up, or in any other way harassing her, either. So NO child will EVER get the chance. Period. I can't believe this woman allowed this to go on until her cat was killed.....how can you not defend any creature that is completely defenseless, especially when it is your own animal, and therefore your job, as a pet-owner, to do the defending??

happycats
March 30th, 2006, 07:17 AM
I don't understand how the owner could let the kid torture the cat for days. How is that love? How did she not see it coming and do something about it beforehand?

This is a single mother (husband died) whose child is fighting a terrible disease, and could die!! I would say the mother was preoccupied! I don;t think it's fair to say "How is that love".

I am sure having a child fight for it's life in the hospital, dealing with horrible guests, spending hours visiting sick child, must be very exhausting, and she did intervene when she saw the brat bother the cat, but like CK said, she can't watch the little brat 24/7!!!

This woman was crying over the loss of her cat, and obviously feels horrible about it, and I am sure she would have done things different if she had it to do over! I just think, it's a little harsh to question her love.

chico2
March 30th, 2006, 08:56 AM
OMG,how terribly sad:sad:
The love and concern for animals,usually comes from the parents,this father clearly was not an animal-lover.
Although the owner in my view,did not protect her cat from this little monster enough(I would have locked this kid up:evil: ),it's too easy to judge someone after the fact.
The fact she still keeps all her animals,being a widow and having a very ill child,is a testament to her love,others might have dumped them all:sad:
I know one thing for sure,that child and her father would never see the inside of my house again:evil:

CyberKitten
March 30th, 2006, 02:20 PM
Perhaps I did not explain the situation well Prin - I do not understand the critiscism of someone going thru such torment (I find myself with tears just reading it - you are a very skeptical person I think??). You have to understand her life at the moment - she was catering to these ppl , tryimng to keep the child in check and the father refused to help. She watched every minute of the day she could but remember she had to also be with her child who is VERY ill in the hospital. There are alkways variables we cannot control so I do not blame her in the least - she is the victim, not someone to be condemend because she allowed her cat to be killed for God's sake!!

What I do not understand is how the father did not help or do as she asked. She had to clean the house, wash dishes, make meals, etc, etc and tried to watch them 24/7 but yoyu try that and see how easy it is. It is virtually impossible!!! I blame the father of the child - she tried her best to keep the two apart - oftenm grabbing her cat from the child - but the child would sneak back into her bedroom and take the cat. So I feel for her - she does not deserve any criticism, I myself cannot imagine what she would do more - I myself always know where my cats are yet occasionally one will find some place to crawl into and her home, like mine, is exceptionally cat and kitten proof.

She did look for her cat - she spet every living breathing moment searching for her cat - I did not write the entire story because I assumed (mistake on my part I guess) that you would realize she did EVERYTHING she coukd. She would be washing dishes and placed a mirror up so she could watch for the child sneaking into her room to take the cat. She locked the door - the kid got in wit a hairpin. She changed the lock. She grabbed the cat out of the child's arms every time she saw her with it which was often. When she wasy, she took the cat with her but this kitty hates the car so that was hard. Indeed, she left it with a sitter (Her sister) one day. She spent every moment of every hr of every day caring for her cat when that child was there - there was NOTHING she did not do.

And this was her ex-brother in law who just recently lost his brother and her husband had willed some things to him and so she had to give them to him and cater to him - they had always got along in the past. Not a half brother - did I say that? If I did, it was a typo. He was always very close to the family and I met him at the hospital on several occasions - seemed to be a "nice" guy, but I think just a very ineffectual parent. Why did he not listen to her? Why did he allow HIS child to maul the cat? This woman most certainly DID NOT!!!!! She was like a crazy person for the week they were there - her words and was keeping a promise to her dead husband. I cannot possibly explain all this in this thread - I was just trying to make a point and did it so badly that I find myself sobbing at the heartlessness - PLEASE place yourself in her shoes. What could she have done differently? She threatened to ask them to go to a hotel if the child did not stop and he agreed but the next day was the same. I also met the child and while I like almost every child I meet, this one did not even say hello when introduced - clearly no manners - and she apparently has no so called disorders that some ppl tend to lump together. But she is still mourning the death of her husband and felt she owed it to her bil to spend some time in his brother's space and collect the stuff he had left for him. (The funeral was not the time for that). It's a large home and she also had do all the things we do in a home and watch this child besides. Normal kids usually listen and while she worried about the trauma to her cats' normal lifestyle, (all of them) and sent all her time - even when working around the home - watching this kid (which should NOT have been her responsibility - frankly, why did this man bring the child is a question I have. I think he wanted to give the child's mom a break and for the child to spend some time with her other cousins which she did to some etxent.)

Anyway - there is more to it but I have not got time to write a novel. All I can say is this woman is NOT in the wrong and you will have to take my word for that. Surely to God, you know I love cats and would be the first one to point out what she did not do properly (as politely as possible of course) if I was cinvinced she held any culpability. It is easy to lay blame - take the time to think about her situation. Have yoo ever lost a husband, had a child diagnised with leukemia and then tried to care for your pets, (her babies) and protect them from a child who simply refused to listen to anyone (and she did not bring up this child!) and kept tabs on your cat. She is anything but lazy - she spent maybe 1/2 hr thinking the cat was sleeping - have you ever done that with your animals? (I almost always know where YY and the S Girls are but they can find places to hide (esp since they like to play hide and seek like this kitty did) but there have been times I have left them alone in the home while I ran across the street. I can't indict her for that. When I said sometime later in the night, you cannot assume nothing went on during that time. SAhe never stopped looking, searching, keeping tabs....

Either I am not good at writing narratives (and it WAS late) but I have actually won awards for my writing but I guess it was a down day so I did not explain it proeprly. This is a tough crowd. Try to put yourself in her place - you have a child who has an illness that she is doing well in but it's still leukemia and we think she is heading toward remission but I never count my chidkens before they are hatched (to use a local expression) in dealing with this illness I fight with every cell in my being.

I am almost sorry I wrote this - all I wanted to do was to note that small children should NEVER be left alone with cats or kittens!!!!!! I did not want not need an argument. At the risk of whining, I am overtired, tgis working while unergoing my own chemo is at its worst phase and I cry easily and everything bothers me and I notice it affecting my memory so I am worried about that. I just wanted to be hekpful - I am not at all up for confrontation right now. You can condemn her if that is your desire but with all due respect, isn't that a little uncaring for someone who has lost someone she loved? None of us is perfect and she - in everything I know about her - is prob more perfect than me - her home is a haven for cats and I cannot imagine (even with all my yrs of experience of advising parents and helping children) what she might have done differently - other than kicking her husband's relatives out of the house. (But she is a kind soul who could not do that and she thought she might be able to help this child). In the end, she lost her beloved kitten and I find that sad and deserving not of derision and criticism but sympathy.

I even sympathize with parents who due to lack of knowledge or other reasons - bring their children to a doctor too late for us to to anything to save their child. Life is too short and we all need hugs now and then to allow us to be overly critical too often. That's how I try to live anyway. I do speak my mind on matters but I try to do it in a kind and caring manner and if it comes across in a different way, I always apolgize because sometimes I know - esp when I am tired- that I can be stident in my love for cats and my opassion for other issues,

In this case, I think she deserves and needs all the help and sympathy I can give her. I refuse to criticize anything she did. (Other than maybe not ask them to leave) She set down srong rules but they were not followed - was she to throw out a much bigger man and his child who came from another province? (Now granted, I might well have asked them to leave if they were douing that to YY - either keave my kitty alone or go!! - but it can be very compliacted with relatives as I am sure you know.) I am reminded of that old saying, you can select your friends but not your relatives, unfortunately.

Anyway - I am really sorry people seem to feel the need to be nasty toward someone who needs sympathy. I find that very sad. I am not being judemental, just realize we are all different in how we see the world and interact and relate with others. I hate to sound melodramatic but I am so upset now I feel my day is ruined - I doubt I'll ever write anything like this again; I thought this experience might help someone in the future or at least demonstrate WHY small children should not be allowed to be alone with kittens and cats. And the amt of time this child was ever alone was never very long but it does not take long. Perhaps the child gave the cat string and she swallowed it - we'll know from the necropsy I suppose.

Anyway - back to work. I am so sorry I brought this up. I do not understand why anyone (and I am just thinking out loud here) has to be critical of anyone, even if the death were under different circumstances. Indeed, we have been kind to ppl who have come on and explained how their pet died due to something they did - why are ppl being so judgemental now? Is it the messenger? (If you don't like me, pl do not take it out on this poor woman!) I try to understand where everyone is coming from - I am not perfect - I wish I was but I am not - and mistakes happen. I just do not see any mistake she made - It's too compliacated and really a privacy issue why she could not ask them to leave. (But admittedly, that would have been my option if it was happening to my cat - the father also was very critical of her when she disciplined the child (meaning asking her NOT to do things) but I'd be hard pressed to ask my niece to leave my home but she is a child who listens exceptionally well and knows how to pick up a cat or dog and properly pet them,etc - and I still never leave her alone with her own dogs or my cats. Anyway.......... sorry, sorry, sorry..... I won't bring any more narratives. It's obvious people do not get what I am trying to say or want to be mean to someone who needs kindness right now - and you know, I have to admit I do not understand that at all. I woujld certainly not have even taken time I did nopt have to write about it if I thought she had any cupability but I know this woman and how she cares for her cats - if this child was alone with the cat for 20 mins at the most, that was it and there was no time she stopped searching for the cat but I jumped ahead to later in the night figuring you would understand that someone who cared for her cats would not simply just let it go. Sometimes, one needs to read between the lines and give the person - and the author a break. I do - and I guess I'd like to be treated the same way.

I am sorry if I sound all too emotional about this but I find this situation so sad - and it really upsets me. It doubly upsets me that others do not understand what I am trying to say but now realize I needed to have written a much longer explanation but had to leave some things out for privacy concerns. Thx for lisetning and please realize whatever you have decidied, it is not at all the situation and I am sorry if I did not outline the situation. Perhaps it wasjust too complicated as an example?

Prin
March 30th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Hmm... Too busy to care for her cat? Why didn't she lock it safely in a room then? Or why didn't she get kid-proof gates to prevent the kid from getting at the cat and to give the cat a safe place to hide? Watching the cat and the kid 24/7 is not the only answer here.

Frankly, if the dad wasn't doing anything and that kid was hurting my dogs, I would make sure she knew never ever to do that again. If that pissed off the dad and he left, so be it.

When it comes down to it, it's not about not having the time to watch a cat one day and a kid kills it the first chance it gets. No, this is about a WEEK of torture with NOTHING done to help the cat. She basically had a week notice that her cat was going to die and did nothing about it. She could have even put the cat in a friggen kennel for $10 a day.

But no, this cat wasn't important.

I understand moms are busy. But moms also know how to multitask and how to protect the beings under their roof so that nobody dies every week or everytime guests are over.

What is so hard about locking a cat in a room?

happycats
March 30th, 2006, 06:26 PM
I understand moms are busy. But moms also know how to multitask and how to protect the beings under their roof so that nobody dies every week or everytime guests are over.

What is so hard about locking a cat in a room?

This isn't just any Mom, This is a Mom whose husband died, and whose baby it dying!! And yes Moms are great at multitasking , but really I know I would have problems doing any task, if my child (god forbod) was at deaths door! You have absolutely no idea what this woman is going through!! Having a child sick is horrible in itself, but having a child dying of Cancer, I couldn't even imagine!! How could any normal person function, let alone care for child, guests, and pets!! as Chico posted, the fact that she kept her pets through it all is an obvious testament of her love of them. I know most would have dumped their pets, if faced with such tragidy!!

As per CK post, she did say the woman locked the cat in her room, but the brat still got at it!

Prin
March 30th, 2006, 06:34 PM
Why not put the kitty in a kennel then? I mean that's even less work, isn't it? Now, she's lost a cat too. You know? To me life is #1 on the list of priorities, not manners or cleanliness...

amber416
March 30th, 2006, 06:37 PM
Cyberkitten, i'm sorry you have been so upset by the responses, but I agree with Prin. I understand this woman has a tough life, having a child that is so sick and all (and yes, for THAT i feel badly for her), but now this little cat doesn't have a life. It was in her home, and therefore it was her fault because after the first couple of days of torture went by and it was obvious the child was not listening, nor was the father of the child, it was time to politely (or not so politely, whatever) tell them to leave. For whatever reason she did not...whatever big private issue it was, I kind of doubt this poor little cat would see the importance or the logic in it....

Like Prin pointed out, it wasn't like it was a one-time tragic accident where the woman was not watching the cat and the child together for a second at the beginning of the child's stay with her (prior to the woman knowing the child was terrorizing her cat) and that cat was killed. Now that would be a horribe accident, and while she would still have a degree of fault as it's her house, her cat, her responsibility... i would feel very badly for her and I would understand more of what you're saying...accidents do happen. This was completely different though, unfortunately. She knew what was going on, I mean, Cyberkitten, you even said this woman told the father "your daughter is going to kill my cat" .... there were plenty of options to save this cat, and instead the cat is dead.

I'm sorry if you think i'm being mean or overly critical, and you are entitled to your own opinions/feelings, but that story physically made me ill and it made me angry....those are just my feelings on the situation.

Prin
March 30th, 2006, 06:44 PM
Thanks for saying it so eloquently.:)

CyberKitten
March 31st, 2006, 12:00 AM
I am sorry Prin but I beg to differ and I cannot possibly explain it all in this place and it seems you don't get it for whatever reason. She placed the cat with her sister when she was away - better than a kennel since she too is a cat lover - she went above and beyond. HAD babygates everywhere - you name it, she did it. I am not going to say any more b/c it is too frustrating - she tried to save her cat in spite of all that was going on, I said a week, I am not sure if it was that in total but my God, do I have to enumerate every last single thing she did in intricate detail - read between the lines like you do for others, please!!!! I am sorry to say it and I am being as kind and polite as I can but you guys do not understand - THIS WOMAN DID EVERYTHING she could!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!

She is as close to a saint as anyone I know but it is tough to explain to ppl who want to tear her down for whatever reason - we do not do that to others here, why are we picking on someone - it seems no matter what I say you come back with something else this woman should have done. (And I am sorry I cannot explain the tenuous tough family situation she faces but there is such a thing as privacy and I cannot - if it had been strictly up to her, the two would have been out on their ear but there was also an elderly mil to consider (also ill) - I could go on but it does not matter - you just have it in for her. I have never seen anything so .... frustrating!!!! I know I get on my "high horse" about declawing and some other issues but I try not to make ppl cry or to be diplomatic. I am usually pretty tough - I have to be - but the reaction to this has just stunned me!!! And left me , well whatever passes for speechless online. Maybe it is the chemo that has weakened my immune system but I cannot read this thread anymore myself without feeling like I am being attacked myself and I end up in tears. There is a lot that has been said that is unfair here.

You name what she should have done and she did it - I can't list all 40 plus things she did (I was trying to keep it short (not easy for me I know, sigh) and assumed pl here would understand. You haver no idea how sorry I am I posted this story if only to ensure no one leaves their own cat with their own child or a visiting child. It is easier with your own children - my niece is very vareful with my cats but with others.... sometimes there are variables out f our control. She bought new locks, mirrors so she could watch the child while she was cooking, cleaning and washing dishes - mostly for her ungrateful guests - she literally followed the cat 24/7 and when she could not be home, brought her to her sister's. It is all well and good and ever so easy to say why did she not bring her to her sister's (There are no cat kennels where she lives unless you count the SPCA and when she did call there, in desperation, they had cat colds circulating). She never ever thought the child - as sneaky and mischiveous as she was (and God I hate to say that about any child, given my profession but this child clearly needs help and fast too tho it is not something I will say to a grieving cat mom!!!) - would "kill" her cat. She worried about the stress on her cat or the possibility of an accident, Hindsight is 2-0/20 and very easy!! You all try this with a child with leukemia and just getting over feeling like you have been hit by a Mac truck b/c your husband died of a heart attack, much unexpected and then being responsible for a mil with alzheimer's and and... more would simply invade her privacy!!

With all due respect and I include myself, I honestly believe none of would have done as well as she did!! Had she even considered that the child might murder her cat , she certainly would have placed her baby with her sister. (We do not expect this of even michivious 7 yr old girls who come from supposedly good homes) But as much as she said that to the father, she never thought it would come to that - she was hopeful the pleas she made to the dad would actualkly be heeded! And that the baby gates, endless new locks - all broken by this child, hidey holes created throughout the house for the cat to run into away from the child (Try doing putting in new locks and doors and new baby gates that the kid broke when you are utterly exhasuted after coming from an emotional day at the hospital, trying to help her elderly mil, amnd it is 2 AM and you have to get up at 6.

I wish I could exp;ain it all but I am truly dismayed by what seems like the mean spirtedness of some of the responses. I expected more less lecturing - and more humanity to be honest. Why is it we help some ppl (well speaking for myself) who we know have done wrong (allowed their cat to get pregnant,) and tried to be non judgemnental but some are so ready to run this poor woman out of town on a rail. I am really baffled and I think I'll have to take a short vacation from the site - we have to be non judgemental and caring if we are to be truly the animal rights advocates we seek to be. I am not perfect - there are things shedid I would not have thought of - granted, I may not have had the complex family ties she had but any child who even touched my cat would be gone but that's easy to say. You cannot assume she loves her cat less b/c the cat died while she was tearing her house apart, placing her with her sister, taking the cat from the cat and locking her in - only to see the child break the lock a=not once but several times. And she tried to tell the father the chilld needs help but he himself sneaked out on ovccsion and pushed away her other cats. But she was unfortunately not in a position to throw them out - but they will never be allowed back and that family has been shattered for good. I even told the nurses to stay in the room when this kid visited her cousin - I feared she might do something miserable like pull out an IV or morphine pump or portacath, I would have put nothing past her! And I set limits on the minutes she could be in there. If I knew what would happen I myself would gladly have taken the kitty home - as I am sure her sister would have but she believed each new tactic would work. I mean fior 4 or 5 days, whatever it was, there was a new strategy each day - sometimes every hr -and alas, each of them failed. The final one was the child chasing the cat and that was the last they saw of the kitty. And they spent the entire night looking for the cat - inside and outside. Without EVER stopping!! She even talked to her daughter on a cell phone so she could keep searching. For all we know, the child may well have killed the cat and hidden her. I don't know.

I only know some of you are extremely unfair in your criticims and I do take it personally since obviously you do not take my word either! I truly believed we have become kinder to each other and that truly disapoints me almost as much as the death of the cat and how the cat's mother was treated here. I was going to refer her to the site and she was ready to pay to join (she asked me how much it was and what she had to do since I suggested maybe writing a memorial page would help her in her grief) but I can hardly do that now. I'll have to come up with some other reason - and other site and I hate doing that, it puts me in an awkward position. I wanted to promote the site to someone who has more cat connections in her area but that now is lost and so an entire region may never know about this place. I surely do not want her to read about how she allowed her cat to die which is not at all the fact of the matter!! She is vulnerable and very sad as it is - I will NOT be responsible for adding to her sad feelings; she is still not yet at the point where she can't discuss it without crying so she cannot read this at all!!!!! Of course she questions what might she have done that she did not think of or done differently but all the armchair criticizing will not bring the cat back unfortunately. She had to have them - her husband had left some important documents to his brother and there were legal issues to deal with.

I really think this is a case of there but for the grace of God go I. None of us is perfect and if we think we are, then we need to re-examine ourselves and our actions!

Prin
March 31st, 2006, 01:11 AM
None of us is perfect and if we think we are, then we need to re-examine ourselves and our actions!So us thinking the woman had a week to figure out a solution to spare her cat makes us think we're perfect?:rolleyes:

I still don't get why she couldn't put her cat in a kennel- even vets can take animals overnight if their lives are in danger, are there no vets there either?

And how does a young child break into a room with a locked door?

Tigger
March 31st, 2006, 07:51 AM
This thread has moved away from the spirit of it's intent. Please consider this before continuing. Thank you.

phoenix
March 31st, 2006, 08:29 AM
CK-
I just want to offer you some support and ask you not to leave the site. You have demonstrated great care and concern for someone who is going through... well, hell, frankly. In your profession, you have to see this kind of thing most days, I know, and your empathy is commendable.
I too, have little patience for the "should have dones". I have too many of these in my own past, as I'm sure is true for most of us. The spirit of this thread in my opinion should be... what to do now to repair hurt and damage that has come out of this tragic event. This woman has experienced a lot of loss and may continue along this journey experiencing further loss.
But, CK, the whole risk of posting on such a site is that others can react exactly as they choose to, and we have to live with that. I try to think, well, so many people have read this but only these have responded... And the others may not all feel the same way.

Prin, my profession is a university prof. And I see from many of your posts that you have a lot of knowledge and a good heart. I really look forward to reading what you have to say. But in this case I see a lack of wisdom which isn't very different from most of your peers finishing school. You will learn eventually that life isn't and can't be the ideal that you might hope for (and indeed, we all might hope for). I encourage you to explore the possibility of opening your heart to others' imperfections, and use all of your gifts to support and find solutions instead of to judge by the past.

I will get off my preaching post now:)

chico2
March 31st, 2006, 05:04 PM
It is a sad fact,kids learn from their parents,parent hates animals and more than likely so will the child.
I had a neighbor once(since died of cancer),who got caught using a fire-extinguisher to get rid of a family of coons under his garage.
He was charged(thank's to me,a nosy neighbor!)with animal-cruelty after the babies were found dead,mom got away.
Only a week later,I find his son and a pal,on my property,peppering a mother Robin with bee-bees,the bird eventually died:sad:
I discovered it too late,but caught the"brats"with bee-bee guns in hand.
I honestly could have shot those kids with their guns,instead I broke the 2 guns and told the father what had happened,not that he cared,he only said"so what?That's what boys do" I also wrote an article in about this incident and the dangers and stupidity, of letting kids have bee-bee guns and it was printed in our local paper:thumbs up
Sorry for straying off the subject,but some kids are spoiled"brats"with no feeling of compassion for anything other than themselves.
It's hard to comprehend a little girl killing a cat,but not surprising.
Yes,the owner was responsible for the safety of her cat,but I don't think she could even believe how evil this girl could be,not before it was too late:sad:
My sons were taught early on to respect the lives of animals and to this day,I know they would never hurt another living being.

Lucky Rescue
March 31st, 2006, 05:11 PM
He was charged(thank's to me,a nosy neighbor!)with animal-cruelty

That's not being nosy! Thank you for speaking up for the defenseless. I wish more people were like you Chico!!

I didn't read the original post, but if a child who is at a reasoning age willfully harmed or killed an animal, that child should be in therapy, since most serial killers and other psycopaths started their murderous careers by killing or torturing animals.

This is not normal behavior.

Esaunders
March 31st, 2006, 05:29 PM
OMG ... that poor woman and her poor cat. :sad:

To have to face the combined burden of a very seriously ill child, the recent loss of her husband, such imposing and self-centered relatives and the loss of a pet to one of these relatives simultaneously? No-one can manage every detail at the best of times and this was far from the best of times.

All I can say is ... I am so sorry for her losses and what her cat went through. May she see brighter days and kinder people ahead. :fingerscr :queen: :love:



And how can a child break into a locked room? Very easily if the room was equipped with a standard indoor 'privacy' lock. All one has to do is stick a hairpin or a straightened wire coathanger into the hole in the knob on the outside and *presto* the lock is popped. Easy as pie, my sister and I knew that trick by the age of 6. The unthinkable rudeness that a child would do so in someone else's home!! :mad:

LM1313
March 31st, 2006, 05:31 PM
It doesn't sound to me like the child purposely killed the cat . . . More like the kid liked the cat but had no idea how to handle it and read its body language, plus the kid had no respect for adults and ignored/defied them when they told her to leave the cat alone.

Poor kitty. :(

chico2
March 31st, 2006, 05:37 PM
I have this terrible feeling,this girl put the cat in the dryer,then tried to hide the fact,by putting the dead cat behind the dryer.:sad:
Poor kitty,whatever killed her:sad:
I am hoping someone will make this child realize what she did,whether she intended to kill the cat or not,she did:sad: and should suffer some serious consequeces.

Writing4Fun
March 31st, 2006, 05:39 PM
Precisely. The father is the one at fault here, imho. My kids are young - younger than this girl - but they know better than to treat an animal that way. They never harassed the cat, and only chase the dog when she asks them to. ;) This poor woman had more than enough on her plate. Quite frankly, if I were going through what she went through, I would be asking my sister to take the dog until things settled down. Mind you, my family would never treat me or my animals this way, so the point is moot.

Poor, poor kitty. :sad:

Prin
March 31st, 2006, 06:27 PM
Prin, my profession is a university prof. And I see from many of your posts that you have a lot of knowledge and a good heart. I really look forward to reading what you have to say. But in this case I see a lack of wisdom which isn't very different from most of your peers finishing school. You will learn eventually that life isn't and can't be the ideal that you might hope for (and indeed, we all might hope for). I encourage you to explore the possibility of opening your heart to others' imperfections, and use all of your gifts to support and find solutions instead of to judge by the past.
I have to say, that is one of the most condescending posts I have read in a long time. To tell you the truth, I'm older than a few of my profs and it's amazing how condescending that position makes people. Even my step-sister the prof, who has never stepped foot outside of school for more than one night, talks down to my dad, who has lived through more than most of us. But I digress.

Sure in my ideal world, people would care for their pets like kids, but in this world, we have people like the woman CK posted about, whose cat was not a top priority. It's completely understandable that the cat wasn't high on her list of priorities with everything going on, but don't tell me the cat was #1 and she did everything the could have. She did everything she would have for something that was not a top priority. I'm saying an encounter with a 7 year old for one week is not an imminent death sentence, so why did the cat die? I would totally sympathize if it had happened in one, maybe two, days. But no. This was a WEEK. So the bottom line is, this cat was not a priority. That's it. I can sympathize with everything else, but the death of this cat was preventable.

And a 7 year old can pick a lock? Well, when I was 16 and my brother kept stealing from me, I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door. It took all of 5 minutes and maybe $11. Not a hard thing to do. But maybe that 7 year old has more skill than I give him credit for.

scuba0095
March 31st, 2006, 07:05 PM
I think many parents really cant control their kids which is really sad, I never allow any kid alone with any of my pets even if its my sisters children!

Tigger
March 31st, 2006, 07:42 PM
An attempt was made by moderation to keep this thread on track.. it is unfortunate that it could not revert back to polite dialogue. It will now be closed. Please try to remember that everyone is human and respect is paramount. Thank you.