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So mad at my husband!

Katherine
January 19th, 2006, 07:53 AM
As some of you may remember we got Farley a newf/lab cross from the Toronto Humane Society about 1.5 years ago. My husband was never a really big dog person but agreed since he knew how much I loved dogs. From when we first brought Farley home we have dealt with his behavioural issues contsantly. We were told about his history at the humane society but we didnt really clue in to how many issues he would have as a result . He stayed with his mom and 5 brothers & sisters in either the bsmt of a house or the backyard for the first 6 months of his life. No social interaction with other people , never walked on a leash , taken to a vet or housetrained, we can also tell that he had been abused. Then one day he was surrendered to the humane society stuffed in a cage and never saw his mom or siblings again. So of course he had HUGE issues when we brought him home .. 1.5 yeras later things are giong very well. We finally progressed to a point where he is no longer staying in the crate during the day. However we have encountered a whole whack of other issues now :

-Farley is the biggest chicken out on the street but barks (quite menacingly I might add) at anybody who walks by our property. Which is fine when we are home but during the day while he is by himself hes going freaking ballistic.
-Hes contstantly tearing down the blind on our front window and destroying it. We roll it all the way up but a couple of days ago he managed to get a hold of the little dangly cord and ripped the whole thing down and chewed it up.
-Hes scratching the heck out of our front door . We have a door with a window so he likes to stand up on his back legs and digs his claws into the wood so he can see out the window.

Yesterday my husband put a cover over the window from the outside so he wouldnt be able to see out so instead he went ape**** in the house and chewed up a rug and took a dump on the floor :sad:

One of my sons is also having a really hard time at school so I was really worried and upset about how to help him. Of course the minute I got home I had to concentrate on cleaning up the mess so my sons concerns got pushed aside. Add onto the fact that its causing a huge rift in my relationship with my husband. Hes really fed up with having to deal with the constant issues adn the destruction of the house and I dont blame him but on the other hand im ****en fuming at him because all hes doing is making me feel like crap.

Yesterday when I got home as I was cleaning everything up I just cried from the stress of everything.

I dont know what to do and just needed to vent . Thanks :(

StaceyB
January 19th, 2006, 08:01 AM
Have you taken him for any professional help, the dog not the husband,lol.

Rottielover
January 19th, 2006, 08:09 AM
As for Tearing up everything, Why don't you Train him for the crate. Take a couple days off, and introduce him slowly to it. It will be a security blanket and a comfort for him

Katherine
January 19th, 2006, 08:30 AM
He was crate trained .. this is the first month that he has been out of the crate. Hes a huge dog and his crate is really big .. so for the past year and a half we basically havent had a dining room because thats where his crate was. He was/is 100% crate trained .. we still have his bed in the dining room and knows that is his new "house" now. I have consulted with trainers and my vet (which is how I managed to train him to be crate trained) . I also trained him on my own so he knows sit , stay , shake , lay down , gentle & off. The reason why I think hes ripping the blind down etc.. is because Im pressuming he goes crazy when people come to deliver mail/flyers or even just park in front of our house. He has tons of toys and I also leave him a huge stuffed kong. I just feel like once something is going well with Farley something else pops up .

happycats
January 19th, 2006, 08:40 AM
I am so sorry to hear about Farley:sad: I wish things were going better, and I know how much you love him.
I hope things work out and you all get through this:fingerscr
He is such a beautiful boy:love: and I would love to see some pictures of him:love:

StaceyB
January 19th, 2006, 08:48 AM
I wouldn't be giving him access to the front of the house where there are windows. He may be better in a back room, puppy proofed so to speak and leave the t.v. or talk radio on to muffle the sounds of someone coming to the front door. The other option is to go back to crate use with the door closed when you are away.

maddoxies
January 19th, 2006, 09:03 AM
I have sent you a pm about an all natural "nerve tonic" I am trying with Valentin. So far, I am seeing better results than Rescue Remedy. It may be something to consider for Farley. I have seen a calming collar discussed on another board as well. It contains natural herbs and is supposed to help with anxiety, etc.

I am moving back to Ontario the end of next week, close to the GTA. Maybe we will finally get to meet !!!

((hugs)) to you and Farley

TobsterMom
January 19th, 2006, 09:05 AM
Can you possibly baby gate him in the dining room, or whatever room he sleeps in? He seems to be anxious about people around outside, and if he feels safe in one room, he may be more secure with that. Also, you can eliminate the amount of damage he does to the whole house, if he only has minimal access when you're not home, then he can't destroy everything.

My dog eats everything, so when we go out he's baby gated. He gets the garage (which is where his bed is), the laundry room and entryway. He has tons of room and it's puppy proof, so I know he's safe when I'm not home.

I know you must be frustrated, I hope things work out. Maybe everyone can take a deep breath...perhaps a family meeting to see how everyone can help Farley and each other!

I don't know if any of my advice will help....but good luck, and try to take it cool, you're doing the best you can! :thumbs up

Bushfire2000
January 19th, 2006, 09:34 AM
It's always rough when you think your making progress and then you hit a setback.
I've just given Cocoa free run of the house, but only when I'm home otherwise she and the others are confined to the kitchen area. Poor Cocoa likes to steal anything thats soft and somethings that are hard from the bedrooms or livingroom and chew the heck out of it. So after giving her access to the house the first time (we did go out) she made a huge mess and chewed a lot of toys (major melt down from the kids) so she only gets to visit the whole house when I'm home.
I think if poor Farley is getting this upset maybe a return to the crate would make him feel more secure while your away.
I know that confining Cocoa and the rest made coming home a lot more stress free for me and the rest of the family. I understand about needing to be able to devote some time to your son, because one of mine needs a little extra help in school, and that is important and takes time to handle.
Best of luck and keep up the good work it sounds like Farley has come a long way. You'll get through it. :love:

happycats
January 19th, 2006, 10:24 AM
Maybe Farley senses your husbands anger, and maybe he senses your stress, and frustration and is only acting on it?
I believe Farley is a sensitive dog, and may be affected by your moods and may be acting out because you are stressed, especially since he is messing on the floor.

BaxterBoo
January 19th, 2006, 03:44 PM
It may just come down to having to keep him crated when you're not there to supervise. It's not entirely uncommon and definitely not inhumane to do that. If you're all gone for extended hours during the day, maybe someone can zip home during a lunch break or something to let him out. Otherwise, relax, and give it time. When we quit crating Baxter, he chewed a hole in the blinds, messed on the floor and chewed the door frame apart. But now, we leave him and he's fine. Make sure you're using a high quality cleaner too, because if he eliminates somewhere, and it's not cleaned well, he'll go there again because it smells...well, like the bathroom to him. I'd say look for a product called Nature's Miracle or (my favorite) OdoKleen. You'd have to go to a specialty pet shop for either product, but products like Woolite and Resolve simply don't work.

BMDLuver
January 19th, 2006, 03:48 PM
Katherine, you've had a long uphill struggle with Farley and I give you high points for sticking with him. I think it would be best to go back to the crate again. It's his den and it makes him feel secure. He may just not be ready for the big world outside ... your house.

Prin
January 19th, 2006, 11:52 PM
I usually do anything to not have to crate, but in this case, for his safety, I think it would be best. Either crate or block off a room to limit the amount of house he can go nuts in.

Katherine
January 20th, 2006, 03:18 PM
Thanks for all the suggestions.

My husband and I are talking again which is good . He says he just needs to vent about the situation but I just get hyper defensive whenever he says anything .. so I do see his point. We uncovered the window from outside yesterday and when I came home things were pretty much in order. Im not going to switch back to the crate right away because im noticing that since hes been out his stomach is much better. Im going to try blocking him off in the kitchen a couple of times this weekend and see how he takes it. I want to look into some sort of solution that I can rub on door and the rug that will prevent him from chewing it / jumping up on it but I cant seem to find anything.

Thanks again everyone , I feel bad that Im more of a "taker" than a giver on this site but the advice I get here always keeps me sane :)

I also need to post some pictures of Farley , hes such a big boy now! He has to be close to a 100 pounds and hes nice and fluffy because of his winter coat :D Hes a big hit with little kids. He always stops them dead in their tracks while they point and say "big dog!" :D

Have a good weekend!