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How can I stop her from getting a dog??

January 18th, 2006, 03:58 PM
My sister came to visit this weekend (she lives in the States...about 7 hours away). She has 2 gorgeous kids, one boy (4 years old) and one girl (2 years old). She met Buster and thinks he's just the best dog in the world!

She has now decided that a dog is what's missing in their lives and they're going to get one this year. Here's the problem : she used to have 2 labs, before she had kids. Her and her husband treated them like crap. It was very strange, because all over their house they had signs like : 'our dogs own this house' ; 'we love our dogs' and tacky stuff like that. But here was their dogs daily routine: Early morning, they got taken out of their crates and put directly outside. They were left outside all day long. At 5 o'clock, when my sister and her husband would come home from work, they would bring the dogs in long enough to feed them, then put them back outside until bedtime. Their crates were kept in the basement, and weren't clean at all -- one of the crate's bottom (it was a wire crate with a metal bottom) had completely rusted out because it was left full of pee all the time...:yuck:

The last timne I visited them before they got rid of their dogs, I was outside with the pooches, and realised they they both had sores on their bodies and patches of fur missing....:sad: It broke my heart. But my sister is a very difficult person, and there's nothing I could do...

So when their first kid was born, the dogs were given away (hopefully to better homes...). Now they want another one. I've tried to tell her that she doesn't have time to raise a puppy (she wants a puppy), that it's alot of work and it's very difficult. But she says she doesn't care, she wants to get her kids a dog. How can you give a 4 year old and a 2 year old a dog??
I don't know what to do.......

January 18th, 2006, 05:01 PM
That's terrible! I could lend her Boo for a couple of days. He always pukes all night when he sleeps at strangers' houses... That will show her (and I'm sure Boo wouldn't mind in the long run... :o).

You can't really change her mind- you can tell her what you just told us, but otherwise, you might just have to stop visiting.:(

January 18th, 2006, 05:28 PM
Just keep working on her! keep pointing out ALL the cons that come with dog ownership. If i miss any, I'm sure someone here will add to it.\

Late nights,
little or no sleep
up to 2 year of chewing up everything you own
excercising the dog
expensive vet bills
expensive food bills
pee and poo on the floor
hair on everything
constant vacuuming
scooping poop
burn marks on lawn from pee
neighbour complaints (for noise, or fear of dog)
may effect home insurance costs
can't go anywhere for any length of time (dog needs to go out)
need to find dogsitter when going on vacation (expensive, hassle)
may bite the kids or their friends (and do you really want to be responsile for that)
dogs are social, and require a great deal of attention

I have talked more people (who have no idea what owning a dog involves) out of buying a dog, by pointing out all these things.

January 19th, 2006, 12:43 PM
It's all bad. They've contacted a breeder (at least they're not going to a petstore....). The problem is they truely believe that they're GREAT dog owners. But they're the worst. If they get a dog, I'm never going over for a visit again. I won't be able to keep my mouth shut, and I'll start a family war because my sister is...well....a bit of a b**ch! Poor pooch. Maybe the breeder will refuse to sell them a dog, seeing as how they've already abandoned 2??

January 19th, 2006, 12:49 PM
If you can't talk to your sister, how about finding out which breeder they're going to and perhaps having a chat with them? I know it's sneaky, but could work.

I myself wouldn't be able to hold my tongue and would just tell her straight up that dogs are NOT self maintaining, and obviously hers were neglected and does she think it's fair to pay a LOT of money for a dog that they won't look after again.

January 19th, 2006, 01:12 PM
I'm living the nightmare now since last night the first call was placed after the package with toys arrived. Sadly if your sister is bent on getting a puppy, like my brother was (and did), then the best thing you can do is make sure that you be positive and try to help where need be. There's no law against bad dog owners (though there should be) and I agree with the suggestion that a discreet call to the breeder may be in order. But if it's a BYB, it may make no difference at all. Good luck, hopefully the next greatest fad will catch her attention and she'll forget about getting a puppy :(

January 19th, 2006, 01:56 PM
Oh! and I forgot to mention, while they were visiting they were telling me the 'hilarious' stories of how their 2 year old daughter runs after the mother-in-laws cat and twists her tail. The cat yelps and runs everytime she sees my niece -- isn't that hilarious??!! :rolleyes: :mad:

January 19th, 2006, 03:22 PM
I'll vote with the discreet call to the breeder. There's no way you can 'make' her not get a dog. Who knows, maybe now that she has kids, she's got a different perspective about raising young life? I'd also keep an eye on the treatment, while there is not a particular law against bad pet owners, there are laws for pet abuse. Some of the stuff you described in your original post tell me that your local ASPCA might want to get involved. If it comes down to it, you might have to make that phone call. Or maybe her daughter will chase the dog, twist the tail and get bit. She'll be looking for a new home for the dog in no time. In the meantime, get her a new pet present....might I recommend the book "Dogs for Dummies" Good luck! :thumbs up

January 19th, 2006, 03:38 PM
If it's a good breeder, then they will ask for references. Of course, the ever so supportive sister will be a reference ;) and then just tell the breeder like it is. Best way to resolve it and she's none the wiser.

January 19th, 2006, 04:33 PM
I would tell her exactly how you feel,what they did to their other two dogs,was certainly neglect,if not darn right abuse.:sad:
I realize you don't want to fight with your sister,but without a doubt when this puppy starts peeing and yelping,he will more than likely spend most of his time in a crate,when he is not being abused by the kids.
If a parent allows their kids to torment a cat,it will probably be the same with a puppy.

January 21st, 2006, 04:33 PM
Would you think a call to the breeder would help? If the breeder decides not to sell your sister a pup, then she will go to another breeder or pet store. Even with the best intentions, I dont think a family conflict is worth it. If she wants a dog that bad, she will find someone willing to sell one regardless of the pups welfare. You would just be delaying a bad situation, and creating conflict with your sister. Maybe if your sister loves your dog so much, you can work into a conversation why Buster is the "best dog" .... you spend time with him, treat him well, take care of him physically and emotionally, train him well and treat him as a family member with respect and never neglect his needs, as he depends on you just like a child depends on its mother.
I just think telling your sister what she cant do instead of what she can/need to do will make her more angry and resentful.
And if all else fails maybe you can say "I didnt know you wanted another child, cause getting a puppy is like starting over again!"

January 22nd, 2006, 11:39 AM
This woman & family have no business owning a pet of any sort! Even if she does start being a responsible pet owner, it sounds like the kids will destroy any hope of having a good dog by the possibility of teasing it. Then the dog will do the right thing and bite one of the little darlings and they'll get rid of it. Now we have another abandoned animal out there, starving for the right care and attention it deserves. I say call your local humane society and put them on guard about the situation.

January 26th, 2006, 12:14 PM
I think you should confront your sister about the situation and everything you observed from her previous 2 labs. I must also stress that you stay calm about it and try not to anger her because that might lead her to buying a puppy just to abuse out of spite :( . Do as some of the other members suggest: tell her why Buster is such a great dog, and remind her how, apart from actually breastfeeding the pup, its the same (if nor more) amount of work as caring for a newborn baby.

June 1st, 2006, 04:20 PM
well, my sister just called to tell she's contacted several 'breeders' from their ads in the newspapers. She's getting a black lab puppy. Poor little guy. I'm never going to her house ever again. :sad:

June 1st, 2006, 04:28 PM
Geez...if it didn't work out with the first 2 labs...what makes them think another will be ok. And go may be the only hope the puppy has!

June 1st, 2006, 05:07 PM
Oh no:sad: . The poor puppy. I know all about dealing with family members who think they want and need a dog and that they are perfectly good owners.:sad: It never ends nicely for the dog... I hope that your sister will come to her senses - its not fair on the puppy or her children!

I would remind her that getting a puppy from a BYB could end up being a huge financial and emotional expense if the puppy is sick and her children get attached. Also, when she had the last 2 dogs she didn't have to worry about 2 young children at the same time...And I would also say that she shouldn't want to teach her children that pets are disposable!

Do you think she realizes that Buster is the best dog in the world because you are a responsible and caring owner? If you put together a list of how much time and money is spent on Buster so that he can be such a wonderful companion, would it make things clear for her? The best dog in the world isn't born that way!

This is so sad. In the end, family members like this make up their minds and no matter what we do, the dog ends up suffering:sad:

I sincerely hope that you can change her mind.

June 1st, 2006, 11:22 PM
Black lab puppies are the cutest, but sadly I think they're one of the most common dogs in rescue (as far as I've seen- maybe I'm wrong).

I can imagine Jemma and Boo as babies and both being irresistable for their unprepared, impatient, impulse-buying parents.:( I just hate it when people bring more black labs in the world and don't follow up on them.:(

June 2nd, 2006, 07:23 AM
A young couple I know,not too far from me,has a beautiful black dog,Lab/Shepard X.
He is incredibly obedient,very well trained and less than 1 yr old.
However,he suffers from seperation anx and they are at their wits end with him destroying things,when left alone.
They have noticed I walk Bailey every day and asked if I would walk Toby,unfortunately I would not be able to handle such a big dog and I also cannot commit to another dog,just do not have the time.
I suggested doggie day-care,or to come to to get some help...