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Let's Remember Our Objective

January 12th, 2006, 08:50 AM
I was so upset when I went to bed last night - all because I let a rather minor issue (in the grand scheme of things) add to my already sky high stress level disturb me.Someone - and it hardly matters now because I don't recall - said I could not take it. I think we should not even think in those terms - we are here for the cats and dogs and bunnies (we can't forget them - I used to think pet stores and other retail outlets discriminated against bunnies since there was so much more "stuff" for other small animals - and of course gerbil, birds, fish, turtles and other animals.

We all hold strong opinions. I would never have made it this far in my life if I cold not take it and I do not mean anything academically. I apologize for sounding so frustration and if anything I said sounded condescending - it was never meant to be. This is the way my family talks and thus it is my way of the world too. We argue and debate often and few in laws are [prepared the rough and tumble of my extended family.

I am taking a mental health day and I ask for your prayers - if you are inclined to believe in any deities or beliefs - or just your good good thoughts. I am going through a very rough patch at the moment in terms of my health and that is what I meant when I said I can take anything. Of course much of it pales when I see "my" little ones battling their own illnesses but as much as I would like to be, I am not impervious to the damage that has been done to me over the years both physically and psychologically. The prayers are for my physical health - I think I can get over the emotional stuff. Some days are difficult and it is only on this forum that I even discuss it. (and with very close friends).My mother is horrified when I talk about my spinal issues - but it may be a generational thing. (and as I have learned through my own work, mothers often feel responsible for their children's suffering, even when that belief if irrational so that may well be why she expresses that.) In fact, were my parents not so demanding of me, I would not be here today - they pushed me to do anything anyone else could and never treated me as if I were some delicate being. I see parents who do that and it irks me to no end. Children often need to be pushed though some are quite ambitious all on their own , amazingly.

Recently, I enrolled in a scientific study as a participant - tho I do know the physicians - orthopedic surgeons - doing the research and admire their work. They are engaged in world class (Not my term in case that is taken as condensing) to study the correlation of hemivertebrae and certain genetic markers. My situation is somewhat rare and they still need participants (20 more I understand so if anyone knows of anyone with that problem, let me know!) and they cannot do a simple random sample.

I do have to admit that it disturbs me immensely to be called condescending because no one who has been through what I have or has kyphoscoliosis (and thus lived through the occasional stare as a child or mean remark by some uncaring or unknowledgable person) could ever be even close to condescending. I try to be as understanding and helpful and kind to everyone I meet, online or offline. I would love to say I came thru that unscathed but when you add that childhood experience (and I was quite lucky in retrospect, when I listen to others who have had horrible experiences) - the worst for me was perhaps being called the hunchback of Notre Dame (and yes, kyphosis can be termed that but it can sound really mean when people say it in a certain way) or being chosen last in athletics. These were really minor in the grand scheme of the universe as I know I have said before. I thus make no apologies - as the only child not to be a star athlete in my family - for attempting to do well in school and for making politics and Governance my sport to my work in some not very friendly locales, any mean word hurts me very much and I have difficulty understanding why people must choose to attack an individual for holding a particular belief or for criticizing the way one chooses to express oneself. I cannot change that - my mother taught me to speak a certain way and I will not nor can I change that. In fact, I think I do a rather good job of explaining complicated tasks in a way that makes them sound less foreboding, or so I am told by those who know me, lol (Maybe they just want something - kidding!!).

So if I did sound condescending - a trait I despise in no uncertain terms - I am, sorry for that. There are some issues - especially shen I see the scientific and not just the anectodal evidence - that some of us may never agree on. Such is the way of the world. I live in a scientifc melieu and I need to comprehend the why and how of something. I do not even trust my own experiences unless they are tested in some emperical manner. It is who I am - and that I cannot apologize for.

My vet agreed with me on the issue we were debating (I had to call her this am about it, lol) tho she did agree with me that yes, some vets will allow rescue groups to do otherwise. I too believe it is better for an animal to have a home and a family that loves him or her and cope with whatever might happen as a result of leaving mom too soon than not having a life at all. (And when I read what I wrote, I did note that and had to wonder if someone just liked to debate - and I did not help the situation by jumping right in.) I broke a rule I tell my own Residents - that sometimes silence is the best policy even when you have the research to back you up. And that the welfare of the patient or in this instance (the cat and her kits) is the most important issue.

So if in the future I sound condescending (and I write very quickly which is why I am such a horrible typist, lol), please forgive me - online communication does not give us the luxury of seeing the person and knowing they are not the ogre you might think they are. I always attempt to be caring and helpful although if someone hurts an animal and I see it, I will not apologize for being a little less retrained. We all need to be less judgemental here - and we need to care for one another as much as we care about the animals we share our lives with and for those for whom we advocate.

At any rate, I am not good at asking for help but I do need s few prayers as I fight my own medical issues, the oncologist needs an oncologist you might say and chemo while working is not as easy as I expected it to be. But I should have known I am simply human after all, haha!!

Thanks for listening and I hope I am not being too long winded - another fault I appear to be chastened for.

January 12th, 2006, 09:40 AM
Sending prayers, good thoughts and much love your way Cyberkitten, and Peaches and Simon send wags and kisses :grouphug:

January 12th, 2006, 02:07 PM
Hope everything is ok! I am sending healthy wishes both mind and soul your way.

Just remember... This too shall pass

God bless ya!


January 12th, 2006, 04:17 PM
Well I will certainly hold you in my prayers. I'm a cancer survivor, although I've not experienced the unpleasantries of chemo as it wasn't an option for my type of cancer. I know that it's a very trying time, when you are trying to reclaim your life and get things back to normal. I hope that all goes smoothly and you are soon feeling better both physically and emotionally.

All the best to you !!!

doggy lover
January 12th, 2006, 04:52 PM
:angel: 's are watching over you. You do so much for others take time for yourself and get well. You are in my prayers.

January 12th, 2006, 05:04 PM
CK.. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed.
A person can definitely spread themselves "too thin", a common danger in busy lives, and health worries can prey on the mind.
A day off to just try to de-stress sounds a great plan. Pamper yourself with lots of gentle tlc... I send my best wishes and prayers to you.:grouphug:

Lucky Rescue
January 12th, 2006, 05:17 PM
the oncologist needs an oncologist you might say and chemo while working is not as easy as I expected it to be.

YOU are getting chemo? Since when???

January 12th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Ck, you are definately in my thoughts and prayers, I had no idea you were going through such traumatic health issues, I know you will stay strong:grouphug:

January 12th, 2006, 09:15 PM
I really don't mean to seem heartless but I don't understand anything you were saying CK.
Was it in reference to some other thread and you just started a new one about the same topic? I am sorry to seem dull witted but I am lost. :o
Was it about cats, or being wounded by someones comment, or you being ill?:confused: I guess the title of your thread drew me in but then I got lost.
I am sorry you are if you are not well and wish you a speedy recovery. :fingerscr

January 12th, 2006, 09:29 PM
Hi Cyberkitten,

Hope your feeling better too, I have heard of some of these trial programs for the big C and have heard they work amazingly well compared to conventional methods. I will send you a PM

January 21st, 2006, 11:09 PM
CyberKitten, I just found this thread. I didn't realize you were having these kinds of problems. It seems so unfair that this is happening to someone who works so hard to make others better. But then, perhaps it is this that makes you who you are and has given you the drive to help others. At any rate, I am sorry to hear it and sincerely hope you are taking good care of yourself. I've heard that doctors and nurses make the worst patients. Take care of yourself first; you can't be there for others if you're incapacitated. You need to fight this battle so that you can go on to help others fight. First things first and all that. Right now you need to concentrate and care for number one. I wish you all the best. If we can give you emotional support along with our prayers for your physical recovery, please let us do it.