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I think I am stressed for ladies only please

January 5th, 2006, 07:46 PM
Okay lately I have been feeling really tense. On occasion my job can get to me if I have to deal with too many irate customers. Most of the times its not so bad but lately its just been one customer after another, screaming at me on the phone, calling me names and just generally they are right of course and dont want to hear any thing. I can handle it for the most part, its just now its so frequent, I dont think I deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Also I drive into work everyday, and almost everyday I see an accident on they highway and I think that could have been me.

Now my cycle is two weeks overdue and I know for sure that I am not pregnant. Before I was every two weeks for a while which was screwy as well. Plus I get frequent headaches, and that constant anxious feeling all the time. So its the commute plus the job that is stressing me out. Plus the long hours I am putting in. I am mentally drained when I got home.

I have been asked to apply at a call centre in town that deals mostly with email and not direct calling. I turned it down in the first place as they werent going to let me work days, apparently now theyve changed that and have asked me to apply again. Anyways I am going to go check it out and hope it could work out for me.

January 5th, 2006, 08:07 PM
Why "ladies only"? You don't want any Schwinn wisdom in here?:clown:

I know what that's like- the screaming. Those call center jobs pay well and have great benefits but they really wear you down quickly. I got yelled at and at the time, I was having tons of problems with my own employee-discounted service. It was all I could do not to say, "Yes, I know how crappy they are! And you know what the worst part is?" :D :evil:

If your body is whacked, you have to listen. Too much stress is not good. You couldn't find another way to commute? Like by train or bus? It might be worth it if it saves you some stress.

I really hope this new one will work out for you. :fingerscr :fingerscr :pawprint: :pawprint:

January 5th, 2006, 08:28 PM
I know what you mean.You need to make some changes,to make yourself feel better.If you can get that job,dealing with people over the computer is way easier than hear them scream at you on the phone.I know I couldn't stand it.I hope you feel better at least when you get home.When I have a bad day,I just feel like going home and put on my pj's.But it's not fair for my dogs so I go and walk them anyway.I always feel better after that.It's really important not to think about the job after hours.I hope you get that job,good luck.

January 5th, 2006, 08:34 PM
I worked in a call centre for 2 years and hated it, I also drive the 401 every day to get to work so the drive is stressful too.

I found the best way to deal with irate people is to be extremely nice to them, it seems to take the wind out of their sails pretty quick! I had one man tell me he was so angry and wanted to yell so bad, but because I was so nice he just couldn't do it.

If you have an chance to get off the phones and answer emails, go for it, it's much less stressful.

I also took up carpooling, there are 3 of us, and we take turns each week, but you really have to find the right people to carpool with, or that in itself can be stressful.

I wish you luck, and try to always leave your work at work, don;t let it get to you when your at home, and maybe some good vitamins will help, I hear Greens+ are the best. or maybe take some Yoga classes to unwind.

January 5th, 2006, 08:37 PM
I hope so too. I know for a fact there is stress involved. I hear that some people love it and others hate. Which is the same as my job.

There is no transit system or bus that goes to my work. Actually the transit system is very lacking here. If someone could loan me a couple of million dollars. I could finance a nice Light rapid transit system, that would go right along the mountains. Right by the highway. Right now weve got buses that run from 7am to 6pm and none that go to the next town over.

I am the only driver as the other lady I go with does not have a car. So if I quit shes basically screwed. Remember my whole car pool saga. But she may apply at this other place as well.

Thanks for listening.

January 5th, 2006, 08:53 PM

I also took up carpooling, there are 3 of us, and we take turns each week, but you really have to find the right people to carpool with, or that in itself can be stressful.

yes carpooling can be stressful. I was trying to find my thread on my carpooling experience. But I cant seem to find it anywhere. If those of you that remember it, the same women is still not talking to me, and I am still driving her sister. Except now she is talking to her sister. Apparently she may be quitting and moving if her husband gets a job. I can only hope. The less people like her in my life the better. Thank god I dont have to drive with her anymore.

January 5th, 2006, 09:28 PM
jecm... I remember well your car-pool saga.. couldnt find the thread either. That it something that I have never tried, carpooling, but can relate well to the others issues you face.

I've worked in many call centres,and done years of anxiety producing commutes to the city.. one hour each way.( on good days)

Dealing with the public is very taxing, but I've always suspected that people are more verbally free (abusive) when they are not dealing with you face to face. They have a need to vent their wrath, you are the lucky recipient.
"Killing them with kindness" is great advice, it often diffuses the anger with the feeling that "someone" cares about their issue.

Cant always be done, though. I recall trying to pacify one creep with calmness when he suddenly began hurling racial slurs at me.( I am not a member of any ethnic minority, but if I were??):evil:

Mental exahaustion is extremely draining.. and causes headaches.
A change for the New Year would be a good thing. I hope the other job prospect is still viable. This sound like it could really help in reduce the issues that are causing your anxiety.

In the meantime... I know that some people use yoga, aromatherapy, herbal teas and such things to help reduce feelings of stress.
Me... I just go for a long walk to clear my head.
Hope you are feeling better soon!

How about a little joke?

PMS Jewelry:
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big freaking red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond ...

January 5th, 2006, 09:30 PM
Shamrock thats funny thanks for that.

January 5th, 2006, 09:43 PM
gosh i think anyone would go nuts with all that stressful commute then verbal abuse on the phone all day! :eek: i personally really dislike picking up the phone whether at work or at home, even with call display... just prefer email at work, seems easier to deal with people's problems that way. you get to cool off alot easier with mail vs voice...

one thing we learned in customer service was: let the customer vent. empathize, let them know you're listening and eventually... the steam will run out and they will calm down when they feel you want to help them (well most will, anyways!). as for the few a-holes that just need a punching bag... well all i can say is thank god somebody invented martinis, LOL!

hang in there... and i hope your job gets easier and closer to home! :o

January 5th, 2006, 09:49 PM
I'm so sorry ! People can be so inconsiderate can't they? Sometimes I just wonder what their mothers were thinking when they were raising them.

I know you're taking the high road and not firing back at them but I'm sure there are days when you wouldn't mind giving THEM an earful !!

January 5th, 2006, 10:17 PM
I have never worked at a call cdentre but often have called ppl on behalf of a political candidate (volunteer work!!) and have heard a few zingers so I can imagine how stressul that would be at work. I have also had parents or teenagers should obsenities at me because of something or other that I had to tell them but they were under great stress and ill. Still, while most people will cry or try to be stoic when they hear a cancer diagnosis, some do opt to take it out on the messenger and while I'd like to say I understand and I do, I have never in my life yelled at a doctor who gave me a bad diagosis and I have been ill many times in my life. It is not the doctor's fault I was born with all these issues or that I had a certain type of cancer or I required so much spinal surgery and am in constant pain that sometimes makes me cranky. But we are all different I guess.

I never yell at call center workers either unless they are snarky and for some reason, some of the outbound ones sometimes are and I do tell them in no uncertain terms that I do not want their product, thank you but I do not yell and am as polite as I can be.

I guess the post traumatic stress I suffer from so my work overseas and the constancy of death of especially young children I almost always become attached to is what I find difficult. And I think that happens to every gender - I see it in my male collegaues too. I cry for no reason sometimes (like when the miners died) or someone says something here that was meant to be funny and comes across otherwise to me because of my perespective (online communication is quite uniue that way since we cannot see the person's espression).

Take a deep breath, Don't be hard on yourself. Talk to someone. Does your company have a counsellor? (They should and it should be mandatory - Drs without Borders makes it mandatory for all of us to talk to a psychiatrist after our sorjourns and I have made it mandatory for my own staff to see a counsellor a few times a year or more if necessary). Any work that is stressful should be required to provide psych support for their workers or at least have an EAP program. Call centers should have a counsellor ON CALL. ;)

Seriously, get lots of rest and take care of yourself. When we loose sleep, we see things differently., I broke down in tears while talking to my mom today and I thought I was just fine - but my work takes its toll. I have one colleagie who works 6 months a year for that very reason, another who is a psychiatrist for the same reason.

January 5th, 2006, 10:39 PM
Actually people snap at my jobs at just loose it on the customer. I have seen people being escorted out, because theyve had the one customer that has sent them over the edge.

I explained a service completely accurately to a customer the other day, and she got enraged, and started yelling at me. I calmly transferred her to the department that she wanted to be transferred too, and listened to the call. They explained the service exactly how I did. I ended by saying, Is there anything else I can do for you, she sheepishly said no and hung up. I remained calm but inside my heart was racing I could it hear it in my head.

Another cust told me I was liar as she only ever had one phone and should get a rebate. Turned out she had about 5 all with different serial numbers. I informed her that every phone had a different number, and asked her if she cared to explain that to me. Because if we made an errror we would be happy to fix it for her. Silence again.

Cyberkitten =

Take a deep breath, Don't be hard on yourself. Talk to someone. Does your company have a counsellor? (They should and it should be mandatory - Drs without Borders makes it mandatory for all of us to talk to a psychiatrist after our sorjourns and I have made it mandatory for my own staff to see a counsellor a few times a year or more if necessary). Any work that is stressful should be required to provide psych support for their workers or at least have an EAP program. Call centers should have a counsellor ON CALL.

No there is no counsellor at work. Heck it takes me 30 minutes to get a supervisor when I need one. Today they put in a new incoming call handler and didnt tell anyone. So its like heres your new system have fun learning it.
Its not quite working right but were sure you'll figure it out. I ended up dissconnecting people as my tranfers kept freezing or would just ring busy.

Anyways I need to teach my self how to do mortgage calculations for this new job, It has something to do with a popular on line trading company . Some of you may have heard of it. Does anyone know how to calculate mortgages I know its just a simple formula. I suck at math but do okay if its just doing formulas over and over.

January 6th, 2006, 12:24 AM
I worked 30 years in the business office of the phone company. The best advice I can give you is . . chocolate. The best, dark, smooth, rich chocolate you can get. Works wonders sometimes!

January 6th, 2006, 07:17 AM
Hi Joey...Mommy,

I understand stress, even though I don't have to carpool and have never worked in a call centre. But I have been stressed to the max before. I was wondering, regarding the ladies only portion of the question, have you seen a Doctor regarding your skipping and earlies? This could be a sign of something changing in your body, naturally or foreign. I don't know how old you are, and I'm not going to ask. Just that there are many natural reasons for your body to change, but stress shouldn't play such a heavy hand, and I really think you should go see a Doc, just in case. I really don't know much about you, maybe you exercise heavily, this can cause changes, or you might be older and starting your change. Best thing is to see a doctor, if anything she/he can help you find some stress relief some vitamins, a change in diet, or medications if neccesary....

We are all so quick to go to the vet for our pet, but some of us leave our own health to last (myself included, I had my galbladder removed a whole year after symptoms arose, They were small symptoms, and I didn't realize anything was wrong).

January 6th, 2006, 07:26 AM
Shh I am 41 and have also have fairly young kids 5 and 7. I hope I am not going through that change. Maybe I will see a doc though just to see whats going on. I have also lost about 15 pounds but have since put a bit of it back on. I used to be a really heavy excerciser but now mostly I walk to dog. I should be excercising more now I think.

January 6th, 2006, 08:21 AM
I too was thinking maybe start of MP,but I suppose 41 is a bit young:confused:
You have many stressfactors in your life and I hope you can eliminate some,by changing jobs.
I've learned as I got older,not to"Sweat the small stuff"and am trying to teach my husband to do the same:D
I too dealt with the public,but face to face,often dealt with them with a sense of humour.Realizing these people are of no importance in my life,was able to let them voice their opinions,but not let them get to me.
Easier said than done,in your situation,but I hope it will get better for you..
My husband drove every night for 30yrs,now newly retired,not driving to work,which he had to,no transit from Oakville to Woodbridge,is a great relief:thumbs up

January 6th, 2006, 10:24 AM
Well, it could be 'perimenopause' can have a lot of the symptoms of menopause, without being in that stage. However, from what I've read, it sounds like you need to step back and look at what's going on at work, etc. with an 'objective' eye. Maybe taking the other job is what you need to do. Anyway, as for the mortgage calculations, I think Excel has a 'mortgage' calculator.
A couple of years ago, I applied for a new job, not because I didn't love the job I was in, but I felt I needed a change. I didn't get the job, but it did prompt me to make a significant lifestyle change. For 22 years, I was able to walk to work. Last year, we purchased a 160 acres of rural bliss :) and now I commute 150 km. round trip daily. Fortunately for me, I actually like driving...and I'm in N. Ontario so the traffic is minimal most days. I could probably count the number of vehicles I meet. (BTW, I just turned my new lifestyle was my 50th birthday present to me :D

I guess what I'm saying, change is as good as a rest!

January 6th, 2006, 02:59 PM
I believe there is an automatic mortgage calc on Excel is there not? I have never had a mortgage, thank God but I taught a seminar in software stuff to some docs and I seem to recall Excel had a mortgage calculator in it that made the process very easy. But then, I have also taught stats and calculus to earn extra money as a grad student and love math - I know, weird!

January 6th, 2006, 10:28 PM
I have excel maybe I will try and figure out the mortgage calcualtor. I mentioned car accidents I see on the way to work. Well this time there was one on the way home. There is a stretch on the highway to work where it is only two lanes lake on one side and basically a mountain on the other. There was a head on collision on the way home which basically makes it impossible to get through. So today we had too take a 45 minute detour on top of the 45 minute drive to get home. As far as I know there was one person seriously injured in the accidents.

So I am going to get my resume together again, find out how to calculate mortages and go to the doctor to see why my body is so whacked out. As its not really normal for me.

January 6th, 2006, 11:35 PM
How do you mean whacked out? Stress can cause so many physical problems - not just ulcers tho most ulcers are caused by H. pylori but some do result from stress. However, high bood pressure, headaches, exhaustion, mood swings are all stress indicators. But I think a good visit with your doc is wise in any case. Take care and get lots of rest this weekend!!!!

January 7th, 2006, 06:54 AM
Cyberkitten How do you mean whacked out? I just meant the part about my cycle being late. My last one ended on Nov 24, (which is the day before we went to Mexico) and I am still waiting for it according to the calender I'm now almost two weeks behind. Which has only ever happened to me once in my life. My weekend starts at 3:30 pm on tuesday. I cant wait. :o.

January 7th, 2006, 07:15 AM
I went to ivillage and took a stress quizz and yes I am stressed. I think a new vacation is in order.

Your score indicates that you have many signs of burnout.
People who score in this range sometimes have a hard time coping with the demands of daily life. They often feel overwhelmed. They often have little energy and are unable to manage stress, have a difficult time sleeping and have many somatic complaints.

Typically, people who score in this range are not usually able to set realistic and attainable goals for themselves. They can be pessimistic about their work and future. They often are unable to relax and enjoy their down time. They have a very difficult time separating work life and home life.

In general, those who score in this range are not always able to control and recognize their feelings or act upon them appropriately They sometimes have a hard time learning from their mistakes. They often are unable to have compassion and respect for other people. They can feel isolated and alone.

People who score in this range can be excellent workers. However, because of their desire to get ahead they often take on too much work and responsibility. They can become so overwhelmed that they lose their focus and are not able to do their best work. They can become confused about what is expected of them and become distressed when they feel they are not living up to assumed expectations. They can become bitter, angry, and resentful.

However, there is hope for people on the verge of burnout so don't give up! You can regain control and begin to like your job again. People who score in this range can decrease their level of burnout by setting realistic work goals, taking time for themselves, exercising, changing jobs, reading books about beating burnout, joining a support group, keeping a journal, taking up a hobby, spending time with their families, defeating negative thoughts, becoming active in their church, synagogue, or other community activity, and, most importantly, by learning to say no.

We know you can get back on track! Good luck!

this sounds like me but I dont really agree with the bitter angry and resentful part everything else seems pretty accurate.