Joey.E.CockersMommy
December 14th, 2005, 10:51 AM
From a dog to God
Dear God - why do humans smell the flowers but not each other?
Dear God - when I get to heaven can I sit on the sofa or is it the same old story?
Dear God - if a dog barks his head off in a forest and no human hears him is he still a bad dog?
Dear God - why are there cars named after the jaguar and the mustang and not one named after a dog? How often do you see a jaguar driving around in a car with it's head hanging out of the window? We love cars.
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember in order that I can be a good dog.
I will not eat the cats food before they do, or after they have thrown up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, or hedgehogs etc. just because I like the way they smell.
The sofa is not a face cloth. Nor are mum and dads laps.
The rubbish collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong inside the 'fridge.
I will not play tug of war with dads underwear when he is on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someones crotch is an unacceptable way to say hello.
I don't need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm under the coffee table.
I must remember to shake the rainwater off my fur before going inside the house.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room licking my crotch when we have visitors.
The cat is not a squeaky toy. When I play with her and she makes that noise it's usually not a good thing.
Thank you for listening to me God
Dear God - why do humans smell the flowers but not each other?
Dear God - when I get to heaven can I sit on the sofa or is it the same old story?
Dear God - if a dog barks his head off in a forest and no human hears him is he still a bad dog?
Dear God - why are there cars named after the jaguar and the mustang and not one named after a dog? How often do you see a jaguar driving around in a car with it's head hanging out of the window? We love cars.
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember in order that I can be a good dog.
I will not eat the cats food before they do, or after they have thrown up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, or hedgehogs etc. just because I like the way they smell.
The sofa is not a face cloth. Nor are mum and dads laps.
The rubbish collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong inside the 'fridge.
I will not play tug of war with dads underwear when he is on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someones crotch is an unacceptable way to say hello.
I don't need to suddenly stand up straight when I'm under the coffee table.
I must remember to shake the rainwater off my fur before going inside the house.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room licking my crotch when we have visitors.
The cat is not a squeaky toy. When I play with her and she makes that noise it's usually not a good thing.
Thank you for listening to me God
