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A puppy for christmas

December 7th, 2005, 11:37 PM
Merry Christmas From Ye Olde Puppy Shoppe !!!

We love our puppy customers -
They're our #1 bread and butter,
Especially right now at Christmas time
With their MasterCards all a-flutter.

Oh sure, they've heard about puppymills -
They don't live in a cave.
The tree-huggers dreamed THAT whole thing up.
They're really quite depraved!

All OUR pups came from "Local Breeders".
These signs around TELL you so;
We paint 'em up and hang 'em high
Cause we want you to know!

We don't put a price on honesty,
But this pup will cost eight hundred dollars.
You don't think that we make the big bucks
Selling fish food and martingale collars!

But back to our Christmas Greeting
And why we wish you all Good Cheer;
You see, you are $pecial folks to us
At this festive time of year.

We love you because you're lazy,
Though very well connected.
You just won't take the time to find
A breeder who's respected.

You so rarely do your homework.
Santa, send us MORE trusting fellas
With no time to learn about Cataracts, hip dysplasia
Or Luxating Patellas !

Zoonotic's not a word you learned
Playing Scrabble or at school ?
Color Mutant Alopecia ? Duh !
We LOVE it, man, you're COOL !!!

Cryptorchids must be flowers from Hawaii you say ?
We will sure not tell you better.
And you don't need to know Brucellosis, my friend,
Unless, of course, you get 'er !!!

We love you cause you just don't care -
You buy it because you want it.
You can lay your cash on OUR counter, ma'am,
If you've got it, you OUGHT to flaunt it !!!

We love the things you DON'T ask !!!
It makes our job so easy.
If you saw the sights behind the scene
You'd probably get quite queasy.

You'll never see the breeding dogs
Who suffer on the wire,
Or pups that die of hyper-thermia
When their truck gets a flat tire.

We'll keep you from our back room, too,
And put a padlock on the freezer.
Those diseased tiny puppies stiff and cold
Would not be a crowd pleaser.

We hope you have a vet you like -
That pup's probably gonna need him.
Ivomec wears off in thirty days -
That's how long we've guaranteed him !!!

Who cares when you get that blue slip home
And find out that it wasn't true.
Your Local Breeder's way out in Timbuktu?
HO! HO! HO! That joke's on you !!!

We've got the carols playing
And a Santa, for good reason;
We're all scrubbed up and looking good
So you'll make our Christmas season.

As you walk away with your new pup
We'll shed a happy Christmas tear.
Don't change ONE THING about yourself-
Just DO come back next year !!!

(ching, ching)

Author unknown...

December 8th, 2005, 07:22 AM
Although I am not sure what all the terms mean, that poem is so true. I went into one of the petstores in town. There were so many puppies there. Just in time for xmas the sign said on their windows. Buy me, Buy me, they had labs, even a chocolate lab, chis, shihtz-zus, schnausers, and a think a few labradoodles. I held Joey up to the window, to take a look. I am so glad he never came from a place like that.

December 8th, 2005, 09:50 AM
most EXCELLENT... and so true. pets are not merchandise, they are living, feeling beings who need a LOT more respect than we're giving them, on the whole... imagine if the sale of cats and dogs in puppy stores would be outlawed... i can hear the thump of puppy mill doors closing by the score....

and that is my christmas dream. :mad: