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Canadian Olympic Q&A...

December 5th, 2005, 11:46 PM
I just got this by email... It's a little dumb, but some are funny...Hope nobody gets offended... I hope they didn't really answer like that though- we'd lose our reputation for being too nice...:D

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!). Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!!!!!.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.
It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains
of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Rick C
December 6th, 2005, 08:41 AM
Very good!!

I'll add something from a MacLeans Magazine article about 15 years ago . . . . . some fishermen around Peggy's Cove said the dumbest thing they were ever asked by a tourist came from an elderly American lady who wanted to know what they did with the rocks at night after they deflated them.

To be fair, I asked an incredibly stupid tourist question in LA a few years ago that had even Mrs. C gawking at me in disbelief . . . . I can't seem to remember what it was right at the moment though. I'm sure we've all done it.

Rick C

December 6th, 2005, 12:08 PM
:) LOL those are great! I love the one about the big horse with horns. HE HE HE:)

December 6th, 2005, 12:52 PM
When I was in Ireland, I got asked a few times: "Oh, your from Canada? Do you know Jimmy? He's Canadian." :rolleyes: :D

December 6th, 2005, 12:55 PM
Hey I know Jimmy, and yup he is Canadian.

December 6th, 2005, 01:05 PM
LOL One guy was from Vancouver... I'm thinking, "Ummm... You know how Ireland is smaller than the size of Newfoundland? Well, yeah, Newf is one of the smallest provinces in Canada and you have to cross 10 of them to get from one side of Canada to Vancouver..."

Rick C
December 6th, 2005, 02:56 PM
Not quite as blatant but we were in the southern Appalachians in Georgia a month ago and a lady did breathlessly tell us the name of someone she knew in PEI with the obvious expectation that we might know her. . . . . I patiently explained that was a good 2,500 miles from our house which caused her eyebrows to reach into her forehead.

If we were honest though, we've probably all asked some dumb, painfully obvious questions while in a foreign place.

Rick C

December 6th, 2005, 08:15 PM
That's why I never ask questions...:D :crazy:

December 6th, 2005, 08:35 PM
Actually I know Jim he is my neighbour small world huh. :D I'll tell him that Prin and Roxy say hi.

December 6th, 2005, 08:37 PM
Has anyone heard of Victoria Island?? I even hear BCers call it that. :eek:

December 6th, 2005, 08:41 PM
LOL Ask Jim how his job is doing. Last I heard he was switching.:D

December 6th, 2005, 10:28 PM
Actually i just remembered you can't bring cutlery into the states from Mexico. I had a fork in my purse from work, that I completely forgot it was there. It made into the US from Canada, and even into Mexico. But then going through Mexican customs on the way home, the lady said uno momento. pulled out the fork and said no fork senora. I sheepishly apoligised and left her my fork in mexico. I wonder what they did with it.

By the way Prin Jimmy is working two jobs now.

December 6th, 2005, 10:36 PM
LOL Poor Jimmy. Times are tough.:(

When she said "No fork on the plane", did you answer, "Oh, I know! You only try that once and never again... Not enough room.." :D