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In memory of my first Baby

Rottielover
November 30th, 2005, 09:17 AM
Freed of his demons on may 16th,2003.

My little baby Bear( ok maybe not so little) You touched my heart the nothing else could.
When I saw you on that very wet cold floor, I was worried, so scary looking and frail, I opened the gate, walked in, and sat on that cold Hat stack. When I saw you running at me, I was so scared, I froze, and that was the best thing for me to do. You hopped unto my lap, all scrawny 75lbs of you, I was able to see your bones. You rested your head, on my lap, and gave me your paw. That there was a sign. You picked me, to protect you. Being at that shelter for so long hardened you, I saw that. That very night, I called every place i could think of to rent allowing dogs. I found one, 3 months away. I found you somewhere to stay. I thought they would take care of you until I could give you what you needed. I was wrong. After I picked you up, I almost lost you.
I ran to the vet after many tests, and a week at the vet, you had ecoli.
I made you better, love and devotion, I made you better.
That was when your true fears came through. I wanted to protect you, so I seeked help, Trainers, behaviourists. No one could help you. 3 years I tried baby, and I still feel I let you down. as you started to get older, you could not be around people, Noises, everything made you mean. I am sorry I could not protect you. I sat long and hard, tears down my cheeks for many days.
Finally I made that dreadful decsion to put you to rest. I called your Vet at home, spoke to her for hours. She reassured me you would be happier.
We walked into the vets, you saw many of your friends, they were all sad, but you still wagged your tail. Brought you to the room.
You went out the same way you came into my life, with dignity. Head on my lap, and giving me your paws. You knew.
I layed next to you, we both closed our eyes. You were alseep.
I did not eat for days, did I do the right thing. Yes, you are free of those demons now, chasing terror.
Your legacy has lived on, you brought me this puppy. You is like you. The bond, his true personality. It's you.
Rest in peace Grandpa dog. You will forever be in my heart, and living through Harley.
My only regret was I did not save you sooner.
Love always Mommy

ElaineG
December 2nd, 2005, 08:47 PM
Oh my. I wept when I read your post. What a hard decision, but I think the kindest. You have a lovely legacy, a little one to love.