October 14th, 2005, 10:53 PM
I just got off the phone with a really good friend of mine, who had been missing from school this past week, and no one knew why. It turns out that his younger brother was killed by a gang-shooting, in which he was not involved, but rather an innocent bystander. It is so upsetting the way these gangs affect the innocent, it really puts a damper on life :(
October 14th, 2005, 10:57 PM
Awww. That's so sad! Here in Montreal, every now and then the feuding motorcycle gangs blow up the wrong person by accident. It's so horrible to think what the families must go through. I hope your friend is ok.
October 14th, 2005, 11:05 PM
That's indeed sad.
October 14th, 2005, 11:07 PM
That's indeed sad.
PS - I hadn't seen this before posting a whimsy in the other thread.
Events like this shouldn't stop us from our other whimsies. (I posted one too right after I made this) I just wanted to note the event and express my saddness over it. The fact that we can still find joy in lighthearted things despite daily upsets throughout the world shows us how blessed we are.
October 14th, 2005, 11:09 PM
Yes, and tragedies should only make us try to enjoy the little things in our fragile lives more. ;)
October 14th, 2005, 11:13 PM
I have to add though- one of my dad's old employees had a tree outside that got struck by lightning one night and a branch fell through the window and stabbed him in the chest. He died instantly. Another friend of a friend died last year skiing. He hit a tree and died instantly. Apparently he had written letters to everyone he knew about two weeks before the accident, telling them all how they influenced his life. It was like he knew. It's a creepy story, but those two stories and this bystander being shot and killed so unexpectedly always lead me to believe that while they are accidents, it seems the victims are chosen somehow. It isn't comforting at all, but I think there is a time. You know?
October 14th, 2005, 11:16 PM
I agree Prin. I am a strong believer that you control your own destiny and life path, but I also believe that there are certain things that you can't control, and seem to be controlled for you. It's an odd balance of nature and will.
October 14th, 2005, 11:20 PM
I think we think we control more than we actually do. I think we devalue the physiology and nature of our own evolution because we think we can think so we're immune to instinct. You think? :D
October 14th, 2005, 11:33 PM
With the big things yes. But not everything, like it would be silly for me to fail an exam and then say "it was in my life plan to do that, there was nothing I could have done" (trivial example I know, but that's what I mean, I don't think the trivial things are subject to that sort of external control)
Today in class I came to truly appreciate the concept of a miscarriage.
Now, before I elaborate, I will say that I do know that if I were to have a miscarriage I would be devastated, and that my appreciation and awe for them is only possible because I have not had to personally deal with one. Also I am truly sorry if I offend or hurt anyone's feelings on this one (And I will delete if asked)
But the miscarriage is such an amazing show of the force with which the human body tries to eliminate errors. A simple amino acid mutation can make your NMDA receptors in your brain impermeable to Calcium, resulting in severe neurological disorders. That is ONE amino acid in billions. Just one tiny error, and you have a severe disability. This is so undesirable that your body will abort the preganancy all to prevent the birth of a child with these problems.
When a woman has a miscarriage, it is often a grievous time, with no possible explanation. But if you can step back and look at it, it's truly an amazing, and "guided" event.
October 14th, 2005, 11:38 PM
oh, for sure. I know a few people who have had several miscarriages lately, and they break down from it. From a purely scientific point of view though, the egg or zygote depending on the stage it is at, is just not viable for some reason. Of course, late miscarriages or still births can have a whole other meaning to them.
The other thing is, with the hormone increase, I think part of it goes into naturally wanting to protect the child, and thus loving the child, even if it isn't even far developed. That can make it all the more devastating.
October 19th, 2005, 01:07 PM
With a miscarriage, the parents mourn not just the loss of the child, but also the lost hopes and dreams for that child. I'm glad I never had to experience this.
October 19th, 2005, 03:52 PM
Prin's post about the fella who died skiing that had written letters two weeks prior made me think of this and post. On a Thursday night several years back my late husband and a friend and I were chatting while playing cards and we got to talking about dying. I knew he wanted to be cremated and I asked him what he wanted done with his ashes. It was one thing we had never discussed. He thought a moment and said he'd like them spread on his parents/family plot in Montreal. On Saturday at noon he died of a massive heart attack. We'd had a wonderful morning... and then he was gone. But I'll always feel, no matter what my religious beliefs, that someone/something set these events in motion. Value every moment and tell the ones you love how you feel. You just never know.
October 19th, 2005, 09:40 PM
Oh, yes. That bugs me about our society. People always say "I missed the moment"- what moment? Is there a rule that if you don't fill an awkward silence with your thoughts and feelings then you will never be able to divulge them again? I tell my man I love him all the time and he thinks it's a habit, but I mean it every time. It's never the wrong moment to get your word in.
I'm sorry for your loss. That must have been so hard! :( :grouphug:
October 20th, 2005, 01:47 PM
Thanks Prin for your thoughts. It's been 5 years now, and it was very hard at first, easier to deal with over time of course. But it does make one value every day all the more. Whenever I speak on the phone with my son we say I love you when we hang up. A girlfriend of mine was surprised by that and she said her kids would think she was sick if she did that. How sad for them :sad: You Prin are a wealth of care and concern and I value our net friendship dearly.
October 20th, 2005, 04:02 PM
Thank you. That's what I'm here for! :) I admit I talk a lot, ok a LOT, but I never stop anybody else from doing it too. :) I'm just glad the internet can be a place to help great people, a place to know great people and learn so much.
October 20th, 2005, 04:06 PM
We have had alot of gang problem here in Toront the last few years, that and guns. Last weekend a TTC driver was shot in the face, it make you wonder what this world is comming too.
October 20th, 2005, 04:09 PM
Oh I heard about that on the news. If all you knew about TO was what was on the news, it would be a very scary place. :(
October 20th, 2005, 04:25 PM
That happened about less than 10 min away from me, it seems all you hear is the bad stuff.