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My daughters upset saying I love my dog more than myself (A VENT)

September 14th, 2005, 10:26 PM
My daughter came over tonight and was in tears. She worried about my health and she has good reason as I haven't had a dr since they left Ont. for better pay out west.
But being from Ontario, the fight for our dogs is reality and yes I have pushed myself beyond it's limits for her and all the other petbulls. My own home town of London proposed an outrages proposal that we are fighting with all our might.
She see's me going down hill and I admit, to look at my apartment and myself, for sure I've totally exasperated my limits and over-whelmed by it all. My point is, the dogs NEED us right now. Her point is her and my grandchildren need me 10 years from now and she doesn't think I will see 10 years longer.
While I understand her concern and love her all the more for her concern, this just isn't the right time for me to be number one priority like she wants me to be. Pitties need us. ALL OF US that will fight for them! Not only the ones that are healthy to fight for them.
She says she can't help but to blame Shasta, because she feels my fight for her and all the others will be the death of me and if that happens she will not only be mad at Shasta but also with me.
She says I'm stubborn and I tell her YES I AM! I'm stubborn enough to fight for the pitties and still take care of myself, just she needs to give me time to finish this fight for the dogs.
We already went round one at City Hall on Monday and WE DID GOOD! :grouphug: Now I will rest up a couple of days before proceeding to gather more signatures for the Provincial amendments.
Her point is I should be looking for a doctor. Well guess what daughter? There AREN'T any taking on new patients in London! If there was, I would look.
The place I live in does not do repairs for me and it effects my health. She wants me to move. I HATE moving! I HATE looking! I HATE packing! I HATE the whole moving process. Why? Because I find the whole thing so very stressful and always end up totally sick from it. So remain here and be sick...or move and be sick. Is there an option? Today, they (maintenance) finally after 6 years came to inspect for repairs needed. I'm happy with that, but she reminds me, how many other times have they promised you that and never come back? It's true...but I WANT TO BELIEVE THEM because I'm just to tired to fight anything else right now.
Shasta IS my life. Yes, I love my family dearly, but they also have their own lives. Shasta only has me and Shasta is with me 24/7. Shasta is my child that will never grow old, meaning childlike for the rest of her years. She brings me so much joy. Without her, I would lose myself.
My daughter thinks I'm comparing Shasta to the family and yes in a way I am. They can take care of themselves, but I am always there for them if they need me.
I can only fight one fight at a time and I've been fighting two. The city and the provincial. Give me a couple of days and I will try to do somethings for myself, but don't overbare me with all this or I'll end up spooked and paniced, then I'll be no good for anyone.
To me, fighting for Shasta and all the pitties IS my life right now and it will be until we WIN!
We can make a world of difference and I do mean world because other provinces and countries are watching Ontario to see how this ban will turn out. If we can make our amendments and change bylaws, others will see the possibilities that they can too. How many dogs would we save?
I's like a war. You don't always win the first round, but that doesn't mean you hang your head and retreat. If you believe so passionately, you go again...and again until you achieve your goal.
So my goal is not on myself, but if this fight is so close to my heart, then it IS my fight!
I see it. Why can't she? :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

September 15th, 2005, 06:54 AM
Conners,although I can understand your feelings towards Shasta and your fight for her and other pitties,you will not be any good for Shasta if you make yourself sick :sad:
To be strong and able to fight,you have to look after your health.
My sons at times also say,I care more for my animals than them and to a point I do,my sons are mature men,with their own lives...we seem them the odd weekend.As a parent,I will always be there for them and support them and of course I love them.However, I have taken on the responsability for 3 little four-legged lives,who give me tons of love and always manage to make me smile even on a miserable day and I will do everything in my power to make sure they live long,happy and healthy lives.
So,take care of yourself and you can be sure,Shasta and your family will have you around for many more years. :love:

September 15th, 2005, 11:41 AM
I agree that your body and health are the first priority because the stronger you are the stronger you will be able to fight. Are there no walk-in clinics? How do you know for sure that there are no drs seeing new patients if you haven't looked?

What I also don't get is if this is your daughter, how does she not have the same value for animals that you do? Or at least, understand why it is all so important to you? My parents' love for doggies was amplified in me. If you were my parent, I'd help you with the pitties... :)

love my dogs
September 15th, 2005, 12:56 PM
Conners that is so sad. I know that Doctors are not taking new patients here. I had been bugging my dad to go get a physical for months (when some other family members his age started having some health problems). I told him that if he sees the doctor regularly instead of waiting until he is sick, he is more likely to catch things quickly if/when they occur.

I bugged and bugged until finally he did call his doc to make an appointment, and guess what?......well he had not seen his doc in 7 years, so his doc just dropped him and now he no longer has one. :eek:

Anyway, it sounds like your daughter loves you and that is why she is concerned, but sometimes people just don't understand that need to fight for your rights.

I know personally, because I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, I am better off to be taking action than sitting and worrying about whatever it is that I'm worried about. Even if there is not much you can do to change a situation, at least you are doing SOMETHING and do not feel totally helpless and like you have no control.

Of course, the old adage applies that you don't get a different result by doing the same thing over and over, so if something isn't working for you, try a different approach. If and when you feel tired of fighting, and it is no longer empowering, then you know it is time to accept that you have done all you can and move on.

My hubby and I fought in court for years for his son who had been alienated from him, and told terrible lies about us. The boy used to hurt so bad, when he was little, he would confide in me and ask me to help him because of how confused he was.

Without going into it too much, a simple example would be: his mom (hubby's ex), would tell him that dad does'nt love him. The child, of course does not want to beleive this, however, either way it hurts, because if he beleives mom, then he has a dad who doesn't love him (which hurts), but if he beleives dad, then he has a mom who lies to him (which also hurts) he's torn.

Anyway, eventually it became full blown Parental alienation syndrome in the child, and the child himself started to hate his dad and wanted nothing to do with him......EVER!

We fought and fought and fought, and finally could fight no more. We both decided that it was time to move on with our lives and accept that he would not have a relationship with his oldest son (we still have younger one). We both know that we gave it our all, and nobody can say that we didn't, but there comes a time where if it is getting in the way of your health, then you have to stop.

I know that it is a different situation, but as long as it is helping YOU to keep doing all you can to fight the ban, then go for it, but if it is hurting you more than helping you, then you should slow down. What I'm trying to say is don't sacrifice your health.

Only you know your own limits!

September 15th, 2005, 02:02 PM
Conners CHECK your pm's!!!!!! Urgently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 15th, 2005, 05:02 PM
I just got a private message that POSSIBLY a doctor may take me. I have to phone in the AM to find out. If this happens I will regain my strength as I'm out of meds that walkins and hospitals won't refill until I finally collaspse.
My dr that went out west gave me enough repeats for one year due to the dr shortage in London. That was in Nov. But once he was no longer an Ontario resident dr in May all my repeats were null and void. I have been able to get some through the walkin clinics, but not a lot of the important ones because of being narcotics or addictive. *sigh* It's a looong story.
If it wasn't the London wasn't going after the dogs in which they were until this last meeting (which hopefully we have changed) we would all have to surrender or dogs or move out of the city. It's a matter of life or death for our NATURALLY that would take priority!
I now can take a couple of days to relax from the London fight as we won't find out for 2 weeks how thing will work out, but their is still the signatures to collect for the Provincial amendments.
I understand my daughter being concerned. First her grandfathers have passed and now my Mom is of course, there's me and she is seeing how this is playing out on me health wise. I too suffer from panic attacks and phobia's and talking to City Hall was one of th MOST DIFFICULT things I have ever done, even on the antianxiety meds. But you know what? I did it and I did it for the dogs! It made me feel like I helped and that made me feel good even if it left me exausted and down for the count for awhile.
To see my place you would think I WAS hit by the hurricane. I don't have the strength to clean it up. I don't even know how it got like this? One day to me could be a few days, a few weeks or a few months. But this fight for the dogs is making me feel good mentally as I know I'm fighting a much need fight.
If this doctor takes me...I will be sooooo extremely greatful to the person that went out of her way to tell her doctor about me. In London there are NO doctors taking new patients. NONE! ZERO! ZIP! It's not that I didn't look, it's just that there isn't any. If this doctor takes me, it is only because this person touched his heart as they are already over booked.
If you believe in prayers, then I ask you, please pray that this doctor will take me.
Thank you ALL for your concerns about me. :grouphug: Now I have HOPE! Hope for me! Hope for the dogs! And even hope for the Provincial amendments with Clayon Ruby on our side. Hope is healthu for a person, plus I also have a higher power watching me as well. THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH! :fingerscr for tomorrow and I will let you know if he takes me!

love my dogs
September 19th, 2005, 07:41 PM
conners- did you get a doctor?

September 19th, 2005, 09:06 PM
conners- did you get a doctor?
No...but I haven't given up hope neither. I got some great info. I got put on a waiting list and the more doctors I phone to ask if they have waiting lists or possible to make one, the better chances I have.