Pets.ca - Pet forum for dogs cats and humans 

-->

Compatibility issues: male or female?

cutiepie_1980
August 27th, 2005, 01:31 AM
Hi all, it's my first post here, only found this site a few days ago. So I guess a short intro is in order. I live in montreal with my parents and we've had 1 cat for the last 6 years. We got him from an acquaintance when he was 3 months old, she was giving him away because her three kids were playing way too rough with him (picking him up by his neck and carrying him around like that etc), so needless to say he was a traumatized kitty. While he's gotten much better in the 6 years we've had him, he's still terrified of children (even 3 yards away), scared of strangers, and any sudden noises. On the upside he's Mr.Boss around the house and no longer gets scared if we walk up to him when he's sleeping or something like that.

Anyways technically speaking he was my brother's cat, so when he moved out at the beginning of the summer he took the cat with him. :mad:
Next week will be my turn to move out and I made sure to make the landlord write in the lease that I can get a cat. The issue that I'm having is that since my brother brings the cat to our house for babysitting whenever he's not going to be home until late for a few days or if he goes away, my parents are retired and therefore travel for a few days here and there, and while I rarely travel for work when I do it's for 2 weeks plus at once, it would be ideal for the two cats to get along so that we could all pitch in and babysit each others' cats.

My brother's cat is very territorial (we didn't want him going outside at all, but it's basically impossible to keep him in and when he's outside we've noticed that he's the neighbourhood kitty-thug) and hisses madly at the other cats if they try to come on our lawn. This applies to all cats, male or female, except for one. There was one little female cat that he absolutely adored. He would follow her around sniffing her butt, play with her, he even had no problem with her coming inside our house (and sleeping there when her @#$% owners would leave her out in -30 weather). She would even eat in his food bowl and he would just sit next to her without a complaint.

So basically after all that, I'm trying to figure out what was so special about this cat so that I can look for the same. I'm thinking maybe she wasn't fixed?(he is). But then she was declawed so it doesn't seem logical to me that her owners would have had her declawed but not fixed, it seems like the only people who don't get their cats fixed are doing it because they're too cheap to.
The only other thing that i've found is that he liked her just because she was a female, and the other female (there's only 1) in the area just didn't appeal to him... In other words should I look specifically for a female?

Any ideas on how to find him a compatible friend would be appreciated. Bringing him around to shelters to meet and greet would not be an option, he would get way too freaked out by that.

Sorry for the long post!

Lucky Rescue
August 27th, 2005, 12:29 PM
HI and welcome to the board!:)

My suggestion is that you get two cats. They will keep each other company when you're not there, play, cuddle and sleep together and you'll never have to worry about them being lonely.

This would also be beneficial for when your parents are babysitting them. They can keep them together in one room and they need not interact with your brother's cat.

If you really only want one cat (two is better!) get a young female. The odds are better that your brother's cat will accept her, but there are no guarantees.

Bringing him around to shelters to meet and greet would not be an option
That's not a option with ANY cat!:p

cutiepie_1980
August 28th, 2005, 03:42 AM
Thanks for the advice. 2 cats is not an option since I basically had to make it clear to the landlord that I would not take the place unless he allowed a cat, so he specifically wrote "1 cat" on the lease.

I went to the SPCA in Ste-Agathe today, I was going for one that I saw on petfinder that is declawed, but then I completely fell in love with one that is not. She's about a year old. The good part is that she was in the common cat room, so at least I know that she gets along with other cats, all that's left is seeing how my brother's deals with her.

Now my new issue is with her not being declawed. I've read up on declawing on the net and I personally find it cruel, but my mother is threatening not to babysit the cat if it's not declawed. So far we've reached a compromise that since the cat will be mine and live with me, I will have all the time in the world to get her used to a scratch post so that hopefully by the time I have to travel she won't claw furniture. However what if it doesn't work? She is small for a 1 year old cat, but she is still an adult cat, and I know it's especially painful when they're older. Any advice?

PetFriendly
August 28th, 2005, 02:47 PM
The good part is that she was in the common cat room, so at least I know that she gets along with other cats, all that's left is seeing how my brother's deals with her.

Here what I did to introduce my queen cat to my room-mate's cat when we moved in together, it took about a week in all and now they live quietly together (there's no love between the two but no hate either). What we'd do is keep my cat in my room during the day and Merlin would have the run of the house. Then at night, Pringles would have the run of the house and Merlin would be stuck in the room-mate's bedroom. This kep them apart, yet got them used to each other' smell. It worked rather well. Check with the SPCA to see if they have any info or tips for introducing a new cat to a home. They might not like each other, but if introduced slowly, they won't be a threat to each other either.

Now my new issue is with her not being declawed. I will have all the time in the world to get her used to a scratch post so that hopefully by the time I have to travel she won't claw furniture. However what if it doesn't work? She is small for a 1 year old cat, but she is still an adult cat, and I know it's especially painful when they're older. Any advice?

Be persistent with the scratch post, something that can't tip over (those cardboard boxes work well for ours) and that is portable. Cats scratch, its a fact of life, but if you can bring her post with her, there shouldn't be a problem. Alternatively, you can try those 'soft paws' glue on tips, but get her used to having her feet played with to avoid a struggle.

Good Luck, and have lots of fun with the new little one!

SarahLynn123
August 30th, 2005, 09:53 AM
This applies to all cats, male or female, except for one. There was one little female cat that he absolutely adored. He would follow her around sniffing her butt, play with her, he even had no problem with her coming inside our house (and sleeping there when her @#$% owners would leave her out in -30 weather). She would even eat in his food bowl and he would just sit next to her without a complaint.

So basically after all that, I'm trying to figure out what was so special about this cat so that I can look for the same. I'm thinking maybe she wasn't fixed?(he is). But then she was declawed so it doesn't seem logical to me that her owners would have had her declawed but not fixed, it seems like the only people who don't get their cats fixed are doing it because they're too cheap to.
The only other thing that i've found is that he liked her just because she was a female, and the other female (there's only 1) in the area just didn't appeal to him... In other words should I look specifically for a female?



I have an idea, take this poor girl that freezing outside with no claws to defend herself :mad: They already get along and you would be saving her life. Check to see if she has a tattoo or is rgistered with the city and if not just take her home. If you get caught claim you thought she was a stray. (she might be)

Blaze01
August 30th, 2005, 10:40 AM
I would invest in softpaws. Blaze wears them and he doesnt really enjoy the whole application process but they are worth it. They are affordable you can find them at softpaws.com and i have even seen them on ebay. Good luck finding the perfect kitty for you!

cutiepie_1980
August 30th, 2005, 10:02 PM
I have an idea, take this poor girl that freezing outside with no claws to defend herself :mad: They already get along and you would be saving her life. Check to see if she has a tattoo or is rgistered with the city and if not just take her home. If you get caught claim you thought she was a stray. (she might be)

You cannot even begin to imagine how badly I wanted to go over to their house and say "listen if you're too selfish to take care of your cat, I'll take her". But unfortunately at the time my parents would not allow me to get a second cat. There were at least 5 families on the street that I know of that would help out, feeding her and keeping her inside overnight when her own parents didn't care. Basically they would decide it was bedtime, open the door, call the cat, wait a whole 10 seconds on a good night, and if the cat didn't come they'd turn off the lights and go to bed. So whenever we saw her outside and their lights were out she would sleep in my room.
Stealing her would not have been an option since she had a colar with the phone number on it and the first time I saw her outside I called them to tell them that I had found their cat, and obviously she wasn't an outdoor cat since she was declawed" Hehe they didn't seem to appreciate my insight... but they therefore knew that I knew it was their cat.
Also the first thing she did whenever she came in the house was go stuff herself in my cat's food bowl, so it gives you an idea of how well her owners fed her... but then one night last winter my brother came home and found her dead in the street, she'd been hit by a car. Poor thing, she was absolutely the sweetest cat I ever met.

As for my own cat hunt, because my mother made it EXTREMELY clear that she does not want to babysit a cat that is not declawed, I've been looking on petfinder for a cat that is already declawed. It's a shame because the cat I liked was a real sweetheart, but I don't have the heart to get a cat declawed, nor do I intend to leave my cat trapped in a tiny cage at some boarding place when I travel just because my mom won't babysit.