Shamrock
August 15th, 2005, 08:16 PM
Hello, it's been some time since I've posted to the boards here.
I'm very sorry to say that our family has suffered a recent and devastating personal tragedy.
On July 30th, our youngest son passed away. The loss of any loved one is very hard to bear, but to lose your child is, I believe, the hardest, as it upsets the natural order of how we perceive life and death. Our children should outlive us, not the other way around.
It's been a heartbreak that defies description - a grief that I didnt know was possible. Life will never be the same for me again, that I'm sure of.
.
But, we must try to heal, and comfort ouselves with the faith that our boy is at peace and safe with God, and that we may meet again. As a family and individually, we must all get through this, and with the help of God, and support of each other, I believe we will eventually gain acceptance and our own inner peace.
Tomorrow is Kevin's birthday, August 16th. He would have been turning 35. This will be a very difficult and highly emotional day for me, as I'm sure you can well imagine. I've been dreading it with such a heavy heart - how will I ever get through this day?
I decided tomorrow I will plant a beautiful tree or flowering bush in my yard. I will donate to a favourite charity on his behalf. And I will light a candle for Kevin on his birthday, say a special prayer, and focus on the happy times we shared together. And reflect on his courage and spirit in his life's journey in the face of terrible adversity.
And that adversity that he dealt with is the reason for my post today.
Kevin suffered from schizophrenia, a serious mental illness.
At age 15, a cloud slowly came over our handsome, healthy and popular young son. None of our lives would ever be the same again - especially his. He struggled with inner turmoil the likes of which none of could comprehend. He fought so long and so hard to obtain peace of mind, and to gain enjoyment from life, acceptance and love from others. The bravery and stamina that he displayed is truly humbling to me.
We struggled too - to understand, to support, to help him find his way in life, to feel better and to cope. His friends slowly dropped off, his girlfriend eventually broke up with him. He found people avoiding him - uncomfortable.. confused.. even afraid perhaps. We are conditioned to be very wary of anything we perceived as out of the " norm". Medications had limited success, his desire to experiment with more waned with every year.
Though there has been many advances, more effective treatments, and better public understanding - there is still a long ways to go in this direction. The stigma lingers. Misconceptions and ignorance about schizophrenia are common. Many still believe its a split personality or is caused by "bad parenting." Some believe people with schizophrenia are dangerous (they are no more or less that any other group of people)
Kevin experienced much kindness and caring from others in his life, I saw this on many occasions. But sadly, I also saw and felt his pain from discrimination, the negative reactions only reinforcing his feelings of isolation and alienation.
I wished he could have known better acceptance and understanding embraced for all the wonderful qualites that were there within him, within the "cloud" he fought to be free of.
We all face some hardships and heartbreak in life, but few would be more difficult, I believe, than the challenge of dealing with a serious mental illness. All who are managing have my deepest respect and admiration.
And so I thought I would ask, on behalf of my beloved son, if you would take just a moment to read about this serious illness, perhaps gain a bit more understanding of its nature? It strikes more often than one would imagine, generally without warning and often in adolescence.
I'm hoping I might shed a bit of light on this little talked-about issue, even just for one person. Before it came into our lives, I had my own misconceptions and little knowledge.
Kevin's struggles are over, but for many, they continue.
Compassion, understanding, acceptance, love - all qualities we hope to offer to others, and embrace for ourselves. We all deserve this in life, that is a fact.
Thank you for reading this very long post, and thank you in advance for taking a few moments to read this:
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/english/faq.php
-----
Best wishes to all for health and happiness for you and your loved ones. Give them a hug, tell you you love them. :grouphug:
What I would give for one more chance to do this, I couldnt possibly convey.
I will love you forever, Kevin, memories of your wonderful spirit and sweet nature are locked in my heart as long as I live and breathe.
My precious one, may God watch over you, and keep you safe.
I'm very sorry to say that our family has suffered a recent and devastating personal tragedy.
On July 30th, our youngest son passed away. The loss of any loved one is very hard to bear, but to lose your child is, I believe, the hardest, as it upsets the natural order of how we perceive life and death. Our children should outlive us, not the other way around.
It's been a heartbreak that defies description - a grief that I didnt know was possible. Life will never be the same for me again, that I'm sure of.
.
But, we must try to heal, and comfort ouselves with the faith that our boy is at peace and safe with God, and that we may meet again. As a family and individually, we must all get through this, and with the help of God, and support of each other, I believe we will eventually gain acceptance and our own inner peace.
Tomorrow is Kevin's birthday, August 16th. He would have been turning 35. This will be a very difficult and highly emotional day for me, as I'm sure you can well imagine. I've been dreading it with such a heavy heart - how will I ever get through this day?
I decided tomorrow I will plant a beautiful tree or flowering bush in my yard. I will donate to a favourite charity on his behalf. And I will light a candle for Kevin on his birthday, say a special prayer, and focus on the happy times we shared together. And reflect on his courage and spirit in his life's journey in the face of terrible adversity.
And that adversity that he dealt with is the reason for my post today.
Kevin suffered from schizophrenia, a serious mental illness.
At age 15, a cloud slowly came over our handsome, healthy and popular young son. None of our lives would ever be the same again - especially his. He struggled with inner turmoil the likes of which none of could comprehend. He fought so long and so hard to obtain peace of mind, and to gain enjoyment from life, acceptance and love from others. The bravery and stamina that he displayed is truly humbling to me.
We struggled too - to understand, to support, to help him find his way in life, to feel better and to cope. His friends slowly dropped off, his girlfriend eventually broke up with him. He found people avoiding him - uncomfortable.. confused.. even afraid perhaps. We are conditioned to be very wary of anything we perceived as out of the " norm". Medications had limited success, his desire to experiment with more waned with every year.
Though there has been many advances, more effective treatments, and better public understanding - there is still a long ways to go in this direction. The stigma lingers. Misconceptions and ignorance about schizophrenia are common. Many still believe its a split personality or is caused by "bad parenting." Some believe people with schizophrenia are dangerous (they are no more or less that any other group of people)
Kevin experienced much kindness and caring from others in his life, I saw this on many occasions. But sadly, I also saw and felt his pain from discrimination, the negative reactions only reinforcing his feelings of isolation and alienation.
I wished he could have known better acceptance and understanding embraced for all the wonderful qualites that were there within him, within the "cloud" he fought to be free of.
We all face some hardships and heartbreak in life, but few would be more difficult, I believe, than the challenge of dealing with a serious mental illness. All who are managing have my deepest respect and admiration.
And so I thought I would ask, on behalf of my beloved son, if you would take just a moment to read about this serious illness, perhaps gain a bit more understanding of its nature? It strikes more often than one would imagine, generally without warning and often in adolescence.
I'm hoping I might shed a bit of light on this little talked-about issue, even just for one person. Before it came into our lives, I had my own misconceptions and little knowledge.
Kevin's struggles are over, but for many, they continue.
Compassion, understanding, acceptance, love - all qualities we hope to offer to others, and embrace for ourselves. We all deserve this in life, that is a fact.
Thank you for reading this very long post, and thank you in advance for taking a few moments to read this:
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/english/faq.php
-----
Best wishes to all for health and happiness for you and your loved ones. Give them a hug, tell you you love them. :grouphug:
What I would give for one more chance to do this, I couldnt possibly convey.
I will love you forever, Kevin, memories of your wonderful spirit and sweet nature are locked in my heart as long as I live and breathe.
My precious one, may God watch over you, and keep you safe.