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Oops. Accidentally INCREDIBLY un-pc...

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 05:59 PM
While I was at the dog park, a huge smooth collie came in with a teenager and his dad. I was petting the collie and he flipped on his back wanting a belly rub. All of a sudden, the teenager came out of nowhere and pulled hard on the dog's leg. The dog freaked and bit me in the leg. I FREAKED. I just went off. "Are you insane? Why would you do that? You realize you made your dog just bite me?" It actually drew blood. When I finally looked up, I realized the teen was mildly mentally challenged, and I felt so bad. Hurting and bleeding a bit, but I felt so bad. I apologized to the dad, and he apologized back. Sigh.

Writing4Fun
August 7th, 2005, 06:04 PM
Oh, dear! Well, don't feel too bad. People, just like dogs, will sometimes "bite" when injured. :o Glad to hear that the Dad apologized as well. He had two beings under his care at that point, and should have been watching both of them. At least he met you, instead of someone who would have taken him to court over the incident. ;)

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 06:05 PM
Oh, I would never bring a doggy so sweet to court. :) He was beautiful. I just hope the kid doesn't hurt him too much.

doggy lover
August 7th, 2005, 06:05 PM
I think any of us would of reacted the same way, but even being mentally challanged the child should be taught the right way to handle a pet, or next time it could be him and the dog could be destroyed for it.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 06:08 PM
I really hope not. I hope it was a one time thing. :fingerscr This dog was great.

Lucky Rescue
August 7th, 2005, 06:19 PM
I think any of us would of reacted the same way, but even being mentally challanged the child should be taught the right way to handle a pet, or next time it could be him and the dog could be destroyed for it.

Right. Makes you wonder how the boy is allowed to treat this dog at home. IF he has even the intellectual capacity of a 4 yr old, he can certainly be taught to be kind to animals.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 06:22 PM
Well, he did get yelled at. The dad didn't just shrug it off. He told him the bite was meant for him not me.

Puppyluv
August 7th, 2005, 07:01 PM
Aww Prin, I think everyone suffers from at least one un-PC moment like that in their life.... mine involved a deaf girl, and I still feal SO bad.
Don't beat yourself up over it, and I hope your leg feels much better soon. :grouphug:

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 07:10 PM
But what is the protocol here? I mean, was I supposed to treat him differently than a person without a disadvantage? I mean, I got bitten!

Puppyluv
August 7th, 2005, 07:35 PM
hmm toughie... how old was the boy? My first instinct is to hold the father responsible... but it seems like he got on top of it pretty quickly.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 07:36 PM
Probably teens or early twenties.

Luba
August 7th, 2005, 07:47 PM
Depends on his abilities vs his inabilities

He may very well have known what he was doing wrong. Just because someone seems to have a disability it doesn't mean emotionally they don't know what can harm / hurt someone.

Having said that he may have understood and IF his dad DID give him carp about it then I'm certain he DID know it was wrong. If he didn't understand the father may have explained that to you and not said anything to the son.

Freyja
August 7th, 2005, 08:01 PM
I worked with mentally challenged teens before I had kids. It was one of my pet peeves (no pun intended ;) ) when people would expect less of these kids in terms of behaviour expectations. People behave exactly like we expect them to. The rules are the rules, you just have to phrase them differently for different people.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 08:04 PM
IF his dad DID give him carp about it then I'm certain he DID know it was wrong. Why would the dad give him fish? What would that do? :)

CyberKitten
August 7th, 2005, 08:32 PM
I am very active in an organization that works with intellectually challenged kids. Not one of them that I know would knowingly hurt a dog - these kids tend to be actually better to pets. So this child too can be taught - makes me wonder about the parents, not the child!

Luba
August 7th, 2005, 09:08 PM
OH Prin.... prin prin prin

CK I agree but also believe every situation is different. We don't know why this individual was challenged nor to what degree. We don't know if it's from birth, accident, injury, head trauma, genetics, what have you. So I say we don't do anyone justice by automatically chalking it up to their 'disability'.

Except in extreme cases, whether one is disabled/challenged vs one that is not (to me all of us are challenged to some degree or another), we all have some degree of responsibility over our actions. Thus, one may use a disability as a method of manipulation over a situation.

I volunteered in a long term care / rehab facility for 8 years then worked there for another 10 so I don't speak with complete ignorance.

Personally I wouldn't be so quick to judge the parent/caregiver since every situation is based on it's own individual circumstances.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 09:12 PM
But how would you have handled the situation, post-bite?

Luba
August 7th, 2005, 09:14 PM
Scream in pain maybe use a four letter word or two and let it go at that...nothing you can say/do in that situation to change what happened.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 09:15 PM
Ok, I didn't swear, but I ranted uncontrollably- that's pretty much the equivalent, no?

Schwinn
August 7th, 2005, 10:05 PM
But how would you have handled the situation, post-bite?

How would you handle it if it were a 7 or 10 year old? I'd look at it that way. Honestly, if it were me, if I thought it was someone of normal intellectual capacity, I would probably ask him what his damage was, then when I did realize he was mentally handicapped, feel like a first-class heel (even get the big heal-head just like on the Flinstones). Actually, something like this happened to me once.

I would stress too much, it isn't like you actually called the kid a derogatory name. You didn't even really make a mistake. Just think how you would handle a young child.

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 10:07 PM
Well, I don't particularly like kids, so I think I would have been more harsh if it had been a 7 to 10 year old.. :D

CyberKitten
August 7th, 2005, 11:17 PM
I would act the same way as I would have whether the child was disabled or not - that's why we have inclusion! I really get irked when I read newspaper artciles saying well the person was at age 6. That is irrlevant and very demeaningh to the individual. I know a lot about disabilities as well and speak from YEARS of experience. The very worst thing you can do is coddle a child with any kind of disability. It's the real world out there.

I know where I would be if my parents had allowed me to get away with doing less because I had many medical probs. And it would not be where I am today! I cannot count the number of patients I have seen who have seriously hindered their children bec of overprotectiveness. That is not helpful. I always try to bne as normal as possible around anyone with a severe disability. If a dog bit me, I'd yell - no matter who the dog was with. If I didn't, the child might think it's just fine to let the dog bite ppl. Anyway --- this is a tender topic for me, nuff said!

Prin
August 7th, 2005, 11:26 PM
Well, I didn't look up before I started yelling, so it could basically have been anybody... I just replay it in my head- how he grabbed the dog. Picture a dog lying on it's back and the guy grabbed just the foot of a back leg and pulled hard... Hard enough to lift the dog half off the ground. OUCH. I told the dad that I really don't blame the dog. I would have bitten somebody if that happened to me... :eek: Not only did I yell for getting bitten, but it set me off that such abuse happened right in front of my face. :mad: Poor doggy. I hope he has a good life. He's such a sweet doggy.

Luba
August 7th, 2005, 11:51 PM
Well said, pretty much what I said earlier....just a dif spin on it.
I cannot count the number of patients I have seen who have seriously hindered their children bec of overprotectiveness

coppperbelle
August 8th, 2005, 05:58 AM
Prin

I think you handled the situation just fine. This boy needs to be taught by his parents that it is unacceptable to pull the dogs leg. I have two friends with mentally handicapped children. Both kids are now in the their early 20's and neither would ever harm an animal. Maybe the boy was jealous of your petting his dog or concerned that you may be harming it.
Make sure you keep the bite clean.

BMDLuver
August 8th, 2005, 07:37 AM
One of my friends that I have known since childhood has a son with Down's. He is about 10 years old and knows right from wrong however he gets excited sometimes and will grab the dog or one of my daughters with way too much strength. His mom is always vigilant about this and when either small children or animals are around she stays right near him. When we've had pups around, we will keep them separate so that neither the pup nor him gets injured. I think it's the parents responsibility to help the child no matter what age to understand what behaviours need correction. I'm sure it's not the first time his son has behaved this way with the dog. I most likely would have been irate as well.

Prin
August 8th, 2005, 09:24 PM
Well, I think you're right about the parents... He was there again tonight... When the dad went to leave, the kid put up a huge fight, so they stayed. Then they went to leave again, and the kid put up a fight, so they stayed. :rolleyes: But the worst part was when they finally got out, the dad negotiated with the dog for about 10 minutes to get him in the car. Basically like a "let him finish" kind of attitude. Not a good attitude to have with a dog...

Joey.E.CockersMommy
August 8th, 2005, 11:37 PM
I spent ten years working with mentally challanged adults and children. It is important that they live in society just as any other citizen. This includes knowing right from wrong and respecting others feelings and that includes animals. I am sure this will be a good learning lesson for this man and his son, its to bad the poor dog had to be hurt in the meantime.
I just read the last post more firmly. It looks like this man really needs to firmer with both his son and his dog.

melanie
August 9th, 2005, 12:38 AM
i agree with you all, i grew up with two downsynd cousins, they were both blind also. they spent hours hurting me over and over again, pinching and punching me when our parents were out, they loved to make me cry and certianly knew what they are doing, even today if i walk past them they wil ltry and grab me to hurt me, they know it hurts me thats why..they know what they are doing thats why....

down or not kids are kids and all must be taught right from wrong....and you amy be very surprised at the level of understanding and maturity they really do have, theres alot to be said for conditioning behaviours from parents...

dotn feel bad, i would not, i would feel bad for your leg if anything...

is it ok, any brusiing, is it healing, no infections???

Prin
August 9th, 2005, 12:45 AM
It's fine. It's actually healing remarkably quickly. :)

doggy lover
August 9th, 2005, 09:18 AM
Sounds like the kid is a brat anyway you look at it, he seems he is allowed to do what he wants. Maybe the family feels guilty for having a child like that and lets him get away with doing as he pleases.